Recovery can be contagious
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: indiana
Posts: 25
Recovery can be contagious
This is a hopeful post. My husband's drinking sent ME to Al-anon and to this site and I'm so grateful for the support. He's been sober and in recovery for 2 weeks now and things seem to be going well.
This did not come about easily. He was deep in denial and very contentious, not himself at all. I was getting frantic. But I got help via Al-Anon and then I did something fairly drastic--posted about this elsewhere. I saw an attorney who drew up a "Separation of Assets" agreement to protect our assets and keep me from being liable for any disaster that might occur.
He did not take this well. Had a horrible day when I broke it to him, but I held firm. I think he was a little shocked that I did it. The next day, he went straight to an alcohol counselor who is going to be seeing him regularly. He's been going to AA and has a couple of potential sponsors he likes.
We were greatly helped by the book UNDER THE INFLUENCE and by the absolute acceptance that this is a disease that can be treated but not cured. I'm so grateful that the love is still there. When an A is drinking, damage happens and if left untreated, it can destroy even the greatest of loves. Things are different--there's a quiet sadness around us sometimes, but I can handle that. Our daughter is definitely a happy camper these days. We've been staying busy, doing outdoorsy-type things, renting videos in the evening, turning in early. Life is quiet but good.
Thanks again for being here. Taking action made all the difference for us. This was the hardest thing I've ever done but I'm doing it.
marie
This did not come about easily. He was deep in denial and very contentious, not himself at all. I was getting frantic. But I got help via Al-Anon and then I did something fairly drastic--posted about this elsewhere. I saw an attorney who drew up a "Separation of Assets" agreement to protect our assets and keep me from being liable for any disaster that might occur.
He did not take this well. Had a horrible day when I broke it to him, but I held firm. I think he was a little shocked that I did it. The next day, he went straight to an alcohol counselor who is going to be seeing him regularly. He's been going to AA and has a couple of potential sponsors he likes.
We were greatly helped by the book UNDER THE INFLUENCE and by the absolute acceptance that this is a disease that can be treated but not cured. I'm so grateful that the love is still there. When an A is drinking, damage happens and if left untreated, it can destroy even the greatest of loves. Things are different--there's a quiet sadness around us sometimes, but I can handle that. Our daughter is definitely a happy camper these days. We've been staying busy, doing outdoorsy-type things, renting videos in the evening, turning in early. Life is quiet but good.
Thanks again for being here. Taking action made all the difference for us. This was the hardest thing I've ever done but I'm doing it.
marie
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Marie
What an inspiration and what a wonderful thing you have done for yourself.
Keep is posted - we love to hear some happy stories here.
I am glad that you found Al-anon and that your life has taken a turn for the better.
Good luck and God Bless
What an inspiration and what a wonderful thing you have done for yourself.
Keep is posted - we love to hear some happy stories here.
I am glad that you found Al-anon and that your life has taken a turn for the better.
Good luck and God Bless
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: indiana
Posts: 25
Thanks gals. Even though things are going well, I still feel the need for support. This is a new life or a new chapter or whatever, and sometimes I feel like I'm walking through a wilderness with no guideposts along the way.
My A had a strange (negative) experience at a meeting this morning and was so bothered by it that he went to another meeting. Which I hope is the absolute right thing to do!
The Toby Drew book ("Getting Them Sober") has some really interesting scenarios drawn out and suggests verbal replies and actions to take. Very simple stuff like "Here's the way it's going to be until you get better" --and then make it be that way. Taking action (rather than talk) is very powerful.
I still talk too much. <G>
marie
My A had a strange (negative) experience at a meeting this morning and was so bothered by it that he went to another meeting. Which I hope is the absolute right thing to do!
The Toby Drew book ("Getting Them Sober") has some really interesting scenarios drawn out and suggests verbal replies and actions to take. Very simple stuff like "Here's the way it's going to be until you get better" --and then make it be that way. Taking action (rather than talk) is very powerful.
I still talk too much. <G>
marie
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Wow! That is so inspiring!
It is true that when we change the things around us change, not always for the better but they do change.
You are a very strong lady to do what you have done and you should be proud.
And we are all proud of you!
Hugs,
JT
It is true that when we change the things around us change, not always for the better but they do change.
You are a very strong lady to do what you have done and you should be proud.
And we are all proud of you!
Hugs,
JT
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 175
Hi Marie,
I am thrilled to hear your A was open enough to even think about help. Mine does not have a problem he says...I have the problem. I wish you continued luck.....great news for both of you!
Love, Kitty
I am thrilled to hear your A was open enough to even think about help. Mine does not have a problem he says...I have the problem. I wish you continued luck.....great news for both of you!
Love, Kitty
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