Who should we tell and what...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
Who should we tell and what...
my husband will be gone at least 2 weeks starting as early as Saturday.
We have told my parents and I plan to tell my sister next week. He has told his best friend and drinking buddy (who is horrified). He has choosen not to tell his mother until after he gets back for a variety of valid reasons.
I am wondering about my children's teachers and childcare provider. I know that the kids will talk about Daddy being away. I am thinking I will just say that he is "Out of town" for a few weeks and leave it at that.
We plan to tell the children that Daddy is going away for a while to learn how to control his body a little better. Since when he is drinking he is totally hyper. The children don't know what alcohol is, so we thought it best to use the other terms. They are 4 and 6.
I have also told my best friend. I am going to need someone and she is a wonderful lady.
Does that sound like a complete enough list? Does that sound like a good way to handle it with the children?
Jenny
We have told my parents and I plan to tell my sister next week. He has told his best friend and drinking buddy (who is horrified). He has choosen not to tell his mother until after he gets back for a variety of valid reasons.
I am wondering about my children's teachers and childcare provider. I know that the kids will talk about Daddy being away. I am thinking I will just say that he is "Out of town" for a few weeks and leave it at that.
We plan to tell the children that Daddy is going away for a while to learn how to control his body a little better. Since when he is drinking he is totally hyper. The children don't know what alcohol is, so we thought it best to use the other terms. They are 4 and 6.
I have also told my best friend. I am going to need someone and she is a wonderful lady.
Does that sound like a complete enough list? Does that sound like a good way to handle it with the children?
Jenny
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Venice, Florida
Posts: 414
Jenny,
You just need to tell people that you trust and can be support to you and your husband on a "need to know" basis. He is taking a brave step and for those who you feel don't need to know he is going to rehab, just tell them he is going away for personal reflection and will be back.
As for the children, they are really young. I think what you have planned to say is appropriate.
If you have a pastor, priest or rabbi that you feel comfortable sharing with, I would suggest that as well. They can be of great support to you and anything you tell them is confidential.
Hang in there. Remember, you are strong and we will be here if you need us to talk to .
You just need to tell people that you trust and can be support to you and your husband on a "need to know" basis. He is taking a brave step and for those who you feel don't need to know he is going to rehab, just tell them he is going away for personal reflection and will be back.
As for the children, they are really young. I think what you have planned to say is appropriate.
If you have a pastor, priest or rabbi that you feel comfortable sharing with, I would suggest that as well. They can be of great support to you and anything you tell them is confidential.
Hang in there. Remember, you are strong and we will be here if you need us to talk to .
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Ireland
Posts: 79
Jenny - when my AH went for his program...his parents and sister knew - my father and sister knew and he chose to tell only one other person - his best friend. My boss at work knows as I need the time off to go to the counselling seesions when he's there and my 2 best friends know. Nobody else needs to know - it is nobody elses business.
Our son is only 2 1/2 and when he ask about his daddy, I say he is gone to work and he accepts that - he gets to visit him on a Sunday so at least it doesn't seem that he is away for such a long time, to him. The daycare my son goes to DON'T know and I feel they don't need to - it's no going to affect my son or them. Keep it close as the less people that know, the less you have to explain..
Our son is only 2 1/2 and when he ask about his daddy, I say he is gone to work and he accepts that - he gets to visit him on a Sunday so at least it doesn't seem that he is away for such a long time, to him. The daycare my son goes to DON'T know and I feel they don't need to - it's no going to affect my son or them. Keep it close as the less people that know, the less you have to explain..
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Talk to one of the counsellors and get advice on how to work with your children. I know there are classes (ala tot, etc.) that help them with coping and learning. It may seem a little silly, but I didn't do it and my son was 7 when my AH went into recovery. I did nothing. He's now 24 and working so hard to stay sober. If you can get ahead of the game, please do it.
Blessings, Kathy
Blessings, Kathy
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