Having hope not expectations.....

Old 01-13-2005, 01:05 PM
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Red face Having hope not expectations.....

Hello All! Thought I would just share whats been going on between myself and my AH.

Monday night after having been hysterical for two days with the realization that my AH was not ready to quit drinking, I sent him an email letting him know that I had to let him go until he decided to get sober and get help. It was the next hardest thing I have done besides deciding to move out. The email told him how much I love him and that I just can not go back to living with him drinking no matter how much. I also told him that what he has to do I can't do for him and he has to want it for him, not for me.

I guess this may have gotten through a bit because he emailed me back saying he was going to start going to meetings and to stick with him. Last night he went to his first AA meeting. I am very proud of him and usually something like this would cause me to go running back into his arms but I need to be focusing on my recovery right now and hope that he continues to go. Believe me, I want nothing more than to have a normal life with him again but I know that we both need to get healthy first. He called me on his way home from the meeting and he said that it was "pretty cool". That gave me a little more hope.

Thank you to all of you who post and reply here. Without you, I would not have found Alanon and started my recovery. I am much happier now.
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Old 01-13-2005, 02:11 PM
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Sundance

Wahay!! That's great news. And you handled it really well - I'm proud of you.

You're on the right track.

Love

Minnie
xxx
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Old 01-13-2005, 02:13 PM
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I never know what's more difficult, setting healthy boundaries or sticking to them. Sounds like you're doing both! Way to go!!!

Thanks for sharing your ES&H.

Peace!
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Old 01-13-2005, 04:18 PM
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Hi Sundance,
Everyone who has been through the devestation of alcoholism, and found recovery hopes that the one they love finds healing and peace too. Sometimes when we get out of the way, it happens. Hoping for peace in your family. Hugs, Magic
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Old 01-14-2005, 02:12 AM
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I came in here because of the title, I believe in hope and that it isn't the same as expectation. For me hope is to know something is possible and to wish for it.

Hopeful is the above but with little good things added on, like the reply to your email!!

This post made me smile on the inside, because I think enjoying the hope without turning into expectation is magic and very, very healthy. Just what I think, no facts.
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