wraybear

to rehash a bit, i kicked my AH out 12 weeks ago... He got hooked on oxycontin and went to treatment in April when they put him on methadone. Been drinking off and on since then. He abused the methadone, and ran out. Called an ambulance, Monday, went to ER, and they told him they don't help addicts! I want to say HA HA HA

So, the next morning his nurse came to see him and I guess he had been binging terribly and was in horrible shape, blood pressure was out of control so nurse was afraid he would have a seizure and called ambulance. (he is currently on iv antiboitics for hip infection so a nurse come a couple times a week to take blood)

He was taken yesterday morning to a rehab unit of a local hospital (Thank God it is on our insurance!)

I called him today to tell him I was glad he didn't die and hoped that he realizes that he could have. which, i never should have bothered or done, but I did and I even told him I loved him. YIKES!

He proceeded to ask me to pay his rent of $180 or else they are going to pack up all of his stuff. (he is staying in one of those apt/hotel places where you pay by the week) including money he has hiding (he thinks he has money hiding, he can't remember where all his money has gone!!! HA HA HA)
He said he has $170 on him.

So, I told him I had been paying all of OUR bills, and now have to pay daycare and just didn't think it was possible.

He got very angry so I hung up on him IMMEDIATELY! good for me.

So, wondering if you think its okay for me to suggest I go get the $170 from him and throw in another ten and pay his rent. I absolutely refuse to go clean out his dingy room. (the old me would have volunteered to go get his stuff so i could snoop! I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do that!)

Geez. Yes, I do value your opinions!

PS, his nurse-a male, who he has become pretty good buddies with this past year told me yesterday that he is going to visit him and tell him that the in-home nursing service won't be able to help him anymore and he will have to do all of his physcial rehab (for his hip) and his iv antibitics outpatient. So he will have to get himself to the doctors offices, rehab centers, clinics, etc on his own! I don't know if this was just a threat or for real, but my AH NEEDS SOME SERIOUS HELP!

I would also like you to pray for him to request our insurance to approve a 30-day inpatient rehab program somewhere. He needs help, but I can't help him anymore.

dreamcatcher

If it will keep you from having to take him back PAY IT. It will probably be the best 10 bucks you have ever spent. You will be saving YOURSELF not him. AND it is ok to tell him you love him after all he could have died. We are not the cold hearted Bi@#$ they make us out to be. Keep smiling!!!!

1sunshine2

it's awful not to know what is right. And it's awful not to know what is wrong. It's awful to get stuck paying all of (our) bills, and then awful to be asked to pay some more bills. (his) I don't know if this is cold. But I do know. You didn't get yourself into the hotel from drinking, and you didn't get yourself into paying all of (our) bills. And I think paying the (our) bills is more than enough. Had that hotel that houses all of his belongings meant so much to him, perhaps he would have kept them housed at home. Like I said I don't know how cold that is. But since a little logic is setting in lately, is it logical that you will pay with his money plus some of yours today. and then in a week, pay the entire amount yourself because he is still the same person then as he is now, only now he doesn't even have $170.? Good Luck and no matter which way you go. I am sure you;ll get the opportunity to do it the opposite way next time..........hugs to you. Hope your strength holds you up. Deb

Live

Sure, get his money, kick in $10. He is in the hospital. I think you will both feel better later on this one. He didn't ask you to pay his rent. What's $10?
And of course you love him!

wraybear

Actually he did ask me to pay his rent and said he would pay me back later. But, he, I am sure without thinking clearly as he is "detoxing" volunteered that he had $170 on him. So, when he called this evening, I suggested I come by and get the $170, he said that sounded like a good idea!!!! So,at least he trusts me with his money! And, he told me he talked to his social worker about going to a 30 day rehab program!!! HIP HIP HOORAY! not getting too excited, but at least he finally realizes he must do something other than what he has been doing for years!

Your prayers worked! And in a very short time too. I posted this around 6:20p and just hung up from talking to him. I like it when God answers prayers so quickly! LOL

I guess they will keep him at this hospital for 5-6 days... detoxing, some groups and then arrange to have him go to a longer term place.

I would love it if he would go to one of those teen challenge places where you have to stay for 9 months, but, with all his medical conditions they probably wouldn't take him. But, its not my job to get all that figured out anyway. God is obviously taking care of this one!

I will NOT pay his next weeks rent. No way, no how. I can't and I won't.

Thanks for your posts.

wraybear

just have one more funny thing to share.

I told him I would come by tomorrow evening to get the money and asked if he wanted me to bring the kids for a visit. He said, and oh, i think this is so funny...
"No, I don't want them to see me like this, i don't look good and I might scare them!"
ha ha ha i didn't dare giggle when he said that, but i think it is hilarious for some reason - maybe because i know its true. You know that wild hangover look? well, imagine what he must look like, detoxing from methadone, detoxing from probably 4-5 day binge. I hope I don't get scared when I see him!

Take care ladies!

FormerDoormat

Here's an idea. Bring your digital camera along when you visit him and capture him at his worst. Then he can post it on the fridge to serve as a constant reminder of what he becomes when he's under the influence of alcohol. Now that's a "Kodak moment."

Live

AHHHHH They punish themselves enough. They don't need any help with that.

MysticCat

Way to go Wraybear! I didnt get here soon enough for the advice part, but thanks for making me giggle!

Blessings,
MysticCat

pmaslan

Wraybear... In my post a few days ago I said that I kicked my ASO out on Xmas Day. He too is now living in one of those pay by the week hotels. It is $160 a week and with his expensive drinking habits out in the bars night after night I am sure I will be getting the same type of call you did soon. Funny how they always perfer those by the week flop houses than a nice comfortable home.
Patty