A little humor for ya all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
A little humor for ya all.
Okay, I want to say up front that I hope this offends no one! I got the following in an email and I just thought it was funny and I know that we all need a little humor sometimes. So hopefully you all will find it a little funny. If not, I apologize now.
The definition 'Bravery'
True bravery is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out
with the boys.....
Then.....being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
And still having the guts to ask:
"Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?"
The definition 'Bravery'
True bravery is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out
with the boys.....
Then.....being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
And still having the guts to ask:
"Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?"
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Some more alcoholic humor. Again... hope this doesn't affend! 
How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. Grab on and wait 'til the room spins.
--------------------------------------------
Drinking buddies of an alcoholic who died are at his funeral. As two of his friends pass by the open casket, one remarks to the other, "Sam looks pretty good in death" "He ought to", rejoined the other, "he hasn't had a drink in three days!"
--------------------------------------------
How do alanon's have sex with you?
They just detach and let you screw yourself!
--------------------------------------------
How many codependents does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one - she keeps flipping the light switch repeating
"_This_ time it will come back on"
---------------------------------------------
faith
How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. Grab on and wait 'til the room spins.
--------------------------------------------
Drinking buddies of an alcoholic who died are at his funeral. As two of his friends pass by the open casket, one remarks to the other, "Sam looks pretty good in death" "He ought to", rejoined the other, "he hasn't had a drink in three days!"
--------------------------------------------
How do alanon's have sex with you?
They just detach and let you screw yourself!
--------------------------------------------
How many codependents does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one - she keeps flipping the light switch repeating
"_This_ time it will come back on"
---------------------------------------------
faith
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Originally Posted by keepingthefaith
How many codependents does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one - she keeps flipping the light switch repeating
"_This_ time it will come back on"
---------------------------------------------
faith
Ouch!! I actually winced at that!!
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by StandingStrong
[B][B]
The definition 'Bravery'
True bravery is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out
with the boys.....
Then.....being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
And still having the guts to ask:
"Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?"
The definition 'Bravery'
True bravery is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out
with the boys.....
Then.....being assaulted by your wife with a broom,
And still having the guts to ask:
"Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?"
Here's another offering:
Q: How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. He/she just holds it and the Universe revolves around him/her.
For those of you who've been in counseling or therapy:
Q: How many mental health counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. The lightbulb has to want to change.
This one ain't so funny, but I think it's true (get ready...):
Q: How many Adult Children of Alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No one knows. We go on sitting in the dark and figure that "[sigh] this is just the way life is"..."
I heard a recovery comedian (http://www.marklundholm.com/) say this once: "Al-Anon---where w(h)ine is a verb"
Humor is healing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
And I thought this one was very sweet with a powerful message! So while it's not a joke of humor as we have going on in tihs thread, I think it's a perfect reminder! So you'll have to enjoy this one until some more humorous ones come along. 
>Subject: Be Happy!
>
>The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed
>each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup
>perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home
>today.
>
>Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.
>
>After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she
>smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.
>
>As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual
>description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had
>been hung on her window.
>
>"I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just
>been presented with a new puppy.
>
>"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .. just wait."
>
>"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied.
>
>"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
>Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is
>arranged... it's how I arrange my mind.
>
>I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning
>when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the
>difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or
>get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
>
>Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new
>day and all the happy memories I've stored away just for this time in my
>life.
>
>Old age is like a bank account: you withdraw from what you've put in.
>
>So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank
>account of memories.
>
>"Thank you for your part in filling my memory bank. I am still depositing."
>
>Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
>
> 1. Free your heart from hatred.
>
> 2. Free your mind from worries.
>
> 3. Live simply.
>
> 4. Give more.
>
> 5. Expect less.
>
>
>TOMORROW ALWAYS GIVES US A FRESH START.
>Subject: Be Happy!
>
>The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed
>each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup
>perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home
>today.
>
>Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.
>
>After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she
>smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.
>
>As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual
>description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had
>been hung on her window.
>
>"I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just
>been presented with a new puppy.
>
>"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .. just wait."
>
>"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied.
>
>"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
>Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is
>arranged... it's how I arrange my mind.
>
>I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning
>when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the
>difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or
>get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
>
>Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new
>day and all the happy memories I've stored away just for this time in my
>life.
>
>Old age is like a bank account: you withdraw from what you've put in.
>
>So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank
>account of memories.
>
>"Thank you for your part in filling my memory bank. I am still depositing."
>
>Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
>
> 1. Free your heart from hatred.
>
> 2. Free your mind from worries.
>
> 3. Live simply.
>
> 4. Give more.
>
> 5. Expect less.
>
>
>TOMORROW ALWAYS GIVES US A FRESH START.
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