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Would appreciate hearing how others deal with the AH on vacations



Would appreciate hearing how others deal with the AH on vacations

Old 01-02-2005, 10:11 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Would appreciate hearing how others deal with the AH on vacations

That is, if you take vacations with them at all! I just got back from three days in a beautiful part of the country, staying at a marvelous B&B - we went there shortly after we were married and always hoped to go back someday.

Well, I gotta telll ya ... the first two days I could handle him, but by yesterday, I'd had enough of his almost constant drunk-a-thon. I can handle the passing out, "drama", crying jags during a sappy movie - but I find it difficult when he starts on his meandering "conversations" where he talks and talks and talks and .... well, you get the picture! We were taking a walk yesterday through this small country town (we've been having some unseasonably warm weather in our neck of the woods) and for 40 minutes straight he did not shut up for a single second. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I just tuned him out until I finally asked him as politely as possible if we could possibly have a two-way conversation or if he could just walk silently for a few minutes and enjoy the scenery.

Well, of course he stalked off in a huff and didn't return for an hour. No sweat. I clicked a DVD into the set in our bungalow and watched some great vintage "I Love Lucy" shows. Now I realize we're not supposed to be embarrassed when our A's make jerks of themselves in front of us and others, but after two mornings at breakfast (he was still plastered from the binge he went on the night before) I decided to skip breakfast this morning and sleep in. I mean, he walks into this lovely dining room reeking of alcohol and obviously drunk to anyone with half a brain and I'm sitting there praying he'll shut up so our hosts won't be too disgusted. At least he didn't belch out loud while he was eating!

Just wondered how any of you cope with your addict when you take a mini-vacation or regular week or two-week one.
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Old 01-03-2005, 01:33 AM
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prodigal,I have to go through the same thing. Going on a holiday is a nightmare! We were in Spain last Christmas for 7 days. AH spend most nights binge drinking..talking and talking..then crying..and finally passing out. On the second day there..he lost his passport. Took four hours of searching to finally find...that he had left it at the front desk of hotel. He was showing the desk clerk(a very pretty girl) that he was a British Nationalist. Of course he was stone drunk and didn't remember doing that. Most of the money we had taken to spend on sightseeing was spend on alcohol. I was glad to get back to the gloomy...rainy UK.
Two years ago we went to Scotland for a week. Stayed at a B&B. He drank every night,hid the bottles in our suitcases..so housekeeping wouldn't find his empty bottles.
How I handle the stituation? I tolerate it and in some ways..maybe I am a enabler. Don't really know. But know I have about had enough. Going on vacation(holiday) shouldn't be such a miserable occasion.
Sorry I can't offer sound advice..just wanted you to know you aren't alone in this.
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Old 01-03-2005, 07:38 AM
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Take vacations by yourself or with a friend!! lol

I have taken the kiddos to Alabama and to Branson without my A. They were wonderful trips.

I am planning a trip now with a good friend and her family to go to the beach in the summer. I really enjoy planning these trips because I know we will have a fabulous time.

It is too difficult to detach from my A when on a vacation - so I just do it without him sometimes. So, I have no words of advice.

I know I am making this sound way too simple. I know some are in situations where it just isn't possible to take a vacation without their A. But, I think mine probably looked forward to it, that we he could drink and drink and drink at home alone without anyone around.

So sad.
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Old 01-03-2005, 01:32 PM
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I agree. It IS embarrassing. Oops! This means I'm an enabler! For the most part, I will just tolerate it, but it DOES get very annoying. For me, vacation destination can really determine how it will turn out, also. When we go to tropical areas, he's more apt to stay drunk from morning till night ("No problem, mon!").

P.S. I don't think anyone else on this planet talks as much as my H does. He absolutely NEVER shuts up -- sober OR drunk!!!
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