Help!!!!!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Niles, Ohio
Posts: 10
Help!!!!!!!!!
:hello2 I have never posted anywhere before but here is my story...
I am 25 years old and married to a alcoholic. I have 3 children, 2 from a previous marriage and 1 from current marriage. He is 4 months old. My husband is a advid drinker and with his drinking comes hurt as to most people it does. My mind is made up that I can no longer put up with him hurting me, my boys or himself. The problem is my heart isn't I love him so much but I cant seal with the intoxicated part of him I have tried ignoring his actions, complaining of his actions and threatening to leave because of them but he hasnt changed. He says he wont quit drinking because he likes to feel buzzed but I am tired of being in a relationship that is one sided. He also tells me we wouldn't have any problems with his drinking if I would just quit bi**hing. I am going to try to go to al anon but its really hard with three kids and no help. I am so tempted to leave but I can't imagine my life without the sober part of my husband. He drives drunk he has been with the children drunk. I dont know how to go on like this. Please give me some insight.
PS I grew up with a Afather and I dont want my children to!!
I am 25 years old and married to a alcoholic. I have 3 children, 2 from a previous marriage and 1 from current marriage. He is 4 months old. My husband is a advid drinker and with his drinking comes hurt as to most people it does. My mind is made up that I can no longer put up with him hurting me, my boys or himself. The problem is my heart isn't I love him so much but I cant seal with the intoxicated part of him I have tried ignoring his actions, complaining of his actions and threatening to leave because of them but he hasnt changed. He says he wont quit drinking because he likes to feel buzzed but I am tired of being in a relationship that is one sided. He also tells me we wouldn't have any problems with his drinking if I would just quit bi**hing. I am going to try to go to al anon but its really hard with three kids and no help. I am so tempted to leave but I can't imagine my life without the sober part of my husband. He drives drunk he has been with the children drunk. I dont know how to go on like this. Please give me some insight.
PS I grew up with a Afather and I dont want my children to!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
froggie -
I am sorry that you are feeling so sad. Having grown up in an alcoholic home you know how it can be and don't want that for yourself or your kids. Alanon is a great idea. This board will also be very helpful to you. Read the post its at the top and spend some time reading other posts. I hope you know that nothing you do is going to stop him from drinking - he has to want to himself. All you can do is start taking care of yourself. That probably doesn't make any sense but stick around and it will, I promise.
Hugs, Jo
I am sorry that you are feeling so sad. Having grown up in an alcoholic home you know how it can be and don't want that for yourself or your kids. Alanon is a great idea. This board will also be very helpful to you. Read the post its at the top and spend some time reading other posts. I hope you know that nothing you do is going to stop him from drinking - he has to want to himself. All you can do is start taking care of yourself. That probably doesn't make any sense but stick around and it will, I promise.
Hugs, Jo
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
Posts: 612
Welcome, Froggie. I've read some very wise posts here by others with a lot of experience and a lot of healing in their own lives regarding this very subject. You feel you want to leave this relationship, but your heart is not ready. If this is the decision you want to make, you will know when the time is right. You don't have to make that decision today. Try to put the focus on yourself and your kids. Go to some Al-anon meetings and read the stories on this forum. You can learn how to live with this problem in your life. You cannot change your husband, but you CAN change your reaction to his drinking. It will always hurt, but you will be stronger to handle it once you begin your own recovery.
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