What I learned in 2004.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
What I learned in 2004.
For those of you that have seen my posts over the past year, you know that I've had a very big year. 
And while last year, I slowly trudged ahead, there were often times that I was still stuck in the past. Trying to figure out my AH, figure out how and why things turned out the way they did, questioning if I'm doing the right thing, and going through some major self-doubt among other things.
However, the year 2005, I plan to move forward!!!!!!
But along the year of 2004, here's what I learned.
I can only control me, my actions, reactions, etc.
I am responsible for myself
I am not responsible for my AH, or his debts, his mistakes, etc.
I can do things for myself without feeling guilty!
The world will not stop and grieve with me when I am suffering.
While my friends and families opinions may mean a lot to me, no one is going to live my life except me. Therefore, it's most important what I think!
I need to take care of myself. And it feels good when I do.
My kids have survived the seperation of their parents. I truly think that Ah and I have suffered moreso than our kids have because of it.
Greiving the loss of a relationship is very normal and much like greiving the loss of a loved one when they pass away.
It's okay (and often times necessary) to give myself time, space, etc to sort out MY feelings!
Doing something I want to do even when Ah doesn't like it, does not hurt him one bit!
I am a valuable person and deserve to be treated as such. As well as be treated with respect.
That love is an action word!
I have learned that I have a support system much greater than I thought that I did.
I have also learned to accept people's help when they want to give it.
I've learned how to distinguish the difference in being independent versus being independant to the point of being defiant.
I've learned many many things this year. I could keep the list going on and on. However, I think that you all get the point.
But..................
The biggest thing I've learned this past year is that I do not have to accept the unacceptable! While each of us has a different boundary of what is and isn't acceptable, I have come to see where I need to put my boundary and will no longer accept the unacceptable!
The above are just some of the things I've learned in the year 2004!
I will move forward in 2005!!!
And while last year, I slowly trudged ahead, there were often times that I was still stuck in the past. Trying to figure out my AH, figure out how and why things turned out the way they did, questioning if I'm doing the right thing, and going through some major self-doubt among other things.
However, the year 2005, I plan to move forward!!!!!!
But along the year of 2004, here's what I learned.
I can only control me, my actions, reactions, etc.
I am responsible for myself
I am not responsible for my AH, or his debts, his mistakes, etc.
I can do things for myself without feeling guilty!
The world will not stop and grieve with me when I am suffering.
While my friends and families opinions may mean a lot to me, no one is going to live my life except me. Therefore, it's most important what I think!
I need to take care of myself. And it feels good when I do.
My kids have survived the seperation of their parents. I truly think that Ah and I have suffered moreso than our kids have because of it.
Greiving the loss of a relationship is very normal and much like greiving the loss of a loved one when they pass away.
It's okay (and often times necessary) to give myself time, space, etc to sort out MY feelings!
Doing something I want to do even when Ah doesn't like it, does not hurt him one bit!
I am a valuable person and deserve to be treated as such. As well as be treated with respect.
That love is an action word!
I have learned that I have a support system much greater than I thought that I did.
I have also learned to accept people's help when they want to give it.
I've learned how to distinguish the difference in being independent versus being independant to the point of being defiant.
I've learned many many things this year. I could keep the list going on and on. However, I think that you all get the point.
But..................
The biggest thing I've learned this past year is that I do not have to accept the unacceptable! While each of us has a different boundary of what is and isn't acceptable, I have come to see where I need to put my boundary and will no longer accept the unacceptable!
The above are just some of the things I've learned in the year 2004!
I will move forward in 2005!!!
Caring for the 3 little bears
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Oz
Posts: 509
Hip Hip Hooray! can you rub some of that stuff off on me!
What a great post! I especially love your BOLD phrase...
So glad you are doing so well this morning! I hope I can find the strength to "move forward" also!
Thanks for the powerful, positive post! You truly are Standing Strong!
What a great post! I especially love your BOLD phrase...
The biggest thing I've learned this past year is that I do not have to accept the unacceptable!
Thanks for the powerful, positive post! You truly are Standing Strong!
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
Thank you for your year end observation.... I'm glad you are moving forward in 2005. As for me, I hope that 2005 shows that I can be in the moving on mode.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Thank you all for the encouragement.
You've all been a major support group for me this past year, more than you probably would even begin to realize.
Last year was huge for me and involved a lot of changes. Changes that sometimes just seemed so overwhelming that I felt like I was on overload.
Often times, I questioned everything and suck into my own mind's despair and uncertainty. Though I wanted to be strong, there were many times that I truly was weak and just putting on a good show.
I hope to really do better this year. Each year is so full of opportunities - I'm ready to grasp them now! For the past two years, my New Year's Resolutions have been about self-growth. Last year was the only year that I ever kept my resolution. Hopefully this year will be another one.
I just wanted to encourage all of you. I haven't always been strong, nor have I been sure of my self, etc. If I can do this - you all can.
Thank you again for the encouragement. I may need you all to remind me if I start slipping down that old path again.
Be ALIVE in 2005!
You've all been a major support group for me this past year, more than you probably would even begin to realize.
Last year was huge for me and involved a lot of changes. Changes that sometimes just seemed so overwhelming that I felt like I was on overload.
Often times, I questioned everything and suck into my own mind's despair and uncertainty. Though I wanted to be strong, there were many times that I truly was weak and just putting on a good show.
I hope to really do better this year. Each year is so full of opportunities - I'm ready to grasp them now! For the past two years, my New Year's Resolutions have been about self-growth. Last year was the only year that I ever kept my resolution. Hopefully this year will be another one.
I just wanted to encourage all of you. I haven't always been strong, nor have I been sure of my self, etc. If I can do this - you all can.
Thank you again for the encouragement. I may need you all to remind me if I start slipping down that old path again.
Be ALIVE in 2005!
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