tru2me

Hi everyone. I have to start my post with saying how grateful I am that this board exists and for all the wonderful people on it. I started reading here in late August and have posted a few times. I have gained so much strength and have made so many baby steps from my time here. My mohter in law was very ill which totally upset our lives this fall. Of course, Alcohol changed nothing, but for some reason I felt it would help me take charge of my emotiom. HA! MIL died the last week of November and while we are grieving we are moving on.

I am committed to going Jan 2nd to Feb 13th without a drink. Hopefully I will want to continue abstinent after that, but for some reason I am allowing myself a detour for Valentines Day. I am not going to worry about why I am stuck on that particular date tonight!

Only now am I getting to my question. (Is anyone still reading?) I read other peoples stories and sometimes I feel everyone else woke up one morning, and said "Gee, maybe alcohol is a problem in my life. I think I will go to an AA meeting tonight." Then the next day all is well.

I feel I have come to Step One chomping at the bit, having studied and pondered and searched my soul. And still unable to just do it. Kind of like when I quit smoking: I had to put a date out ther in front of me. It worked for smoking and hopefully will work for drinking as well.

I feel differnet now than I did in August. When I read, "Are you ready to do whatever it takes?" I think , "I AM! I AM!"

eddie z.

tru2me,
Have you ever heard of Step Zero? That's what some people call the quitting drinking part. Have you been to any meetings yet? Got a sponsor? Don't even worry about Step One yet. Just for today, focus on not drinking. Just for today! And even if you haven't quit yet, go to a meeting. It'll make a big difference. Wish you the best!
Peace, love, and hugs,
Eddie (I love sparklers!)

TJ13

Hello there,

I'm on my second day without alcohol and trying hard to quit, but I hope I can still add something useful for you here.

I've been sort of working through the process of removing alcohol from my life for about five years. Recently, I think I've gotten closer and closer to the place you're talking about where you feel it's time to actually "take the plunge" and plan a quit date or something.

I think maybe that's kind of a flawed way to look at it. I've quit, failed, quit, failed many many times. Too many to count. At the end of the day, it doesn't really seem to do any good to keep making strict goals for myself that I feel bad about later.

But wait.... that doesn't mean I'm not COMMITTED to working on recovery. I really do feel that it is a process, even though it's obvious that I can't drink in moderation somehow. That's part of the dilemma, in my opinion. Quitting is a black/white decision because we totally leave alcohol behind, but the process of getting there is downright bumpy. You know what I mean?

I wish you the strength to continue getting closer to whatever that point is where recovery becomes more of a reality. Try not to be too hard on yourself, and I'd suggest you try not to worry about Valentine's Day right now. I think there's good reason that lots of people on this site talk about taking it easy one day (or hour) at a time.

I'll end with good news.... We're all in this together!

TJ

eddie z.

Congrats on Your Two Days, TJ!
That is awesome!

peace, love, and hugs,
Eddie

tru2me

Eddie, thanks for your comments and the Sparklers.

TJ, thanks to you as well. I am looking forward to making friends in recovery.

I need to remember to stay in today. Just when I think I'm making progress I find I am racing ahead way too soon!

Eddie, I had never heard of Step zero and I like the thought. Funny thing is, I pray constantly and feel Step 2 will work for me once I take step one.

eddie z.

You're welcome, t2m! You really need a sponsor, someone who has worked the Steps, to work them "properly" yourself. So, like I said, just focus on Step Zero (getting sober), getting to meetings, and getting a sponsor. We always say the Steps are in order for a reason. You'll see once you really start working them. And don't beat yourself up over getting ahead of yourself. It's just your enthusiasm, and that's a GOOD thing!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

tru2me

Eddie, and whoever else may be reading:

I had an AA friend several years back who said most people who come into AA meetings have been sober for awhile. Has that been your experience as well?
I'd send you a sparkler if I knew how! :}

eddie z.

What's awhile? LOL. Seriously, I don't know about "most people," but SOME people come to meetings drunk and others have "awhile." "The only requirement for membership is a DESIRE to STOP drinking." In other words, you can go ahead and start attending meetings. That may HELP you quit actually.
—EZ does it!