prodigal

It took a psychiatrist who prescribes my meds to sit me down this afternoon and somehow get through to me that my Creator did NOT give me the power to control how someone reacts to a situation or how they behave. Period.

I was able to hang onto that because it gave me a sense of peace. My AH bought me a ton of Christmas presents (after he said we should agree to hold it down to $150 max for each other due to debt) and the morning after Christmas he was back to slamming doors and storming out of the bedroom because I didn't want to snuggle with him at 9 a.m. - too hot, tired and sleepy. I felt responsible for his tantrum. Nope. He alone chose to behave that way. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYBODY'S BEHAVIOR OR REACTIONS OTHER THAN MY OWN.

Somehow, I think repeating that over and over is going to be my salvation ... No matter how many times I've said the Serenity Prayer it has never truly sunk in until my doctor stated this simple fact to me.

What my AH does is what he does. No matter if I try harder to be a better wife or whether I'm having one of my PMS days DOES NOT MATTER. He alone chooses what to say and what to do.

Damn .... it's only taken me three years to get this through my thick head!!

sesh

I know exactly how you feel. I came to the same relevation just recently. It is not eazy, but each new day I remember it more often, which makes life much eazier to live.

nocellphone

Prodigal, those are the kinds of realizations that save lives...




God, grant me the serenity [that peaceful feeling where anxiety used to be]
To accept the things I cannot change [everything but me],
Courage to change the things I can [my actions and reactions],
And the wisdom to know the difference [oh, crap...]

queenofthehwy

Prodigal, I love, love, love, love it!!!! That thought never crossed my mind before I came here and started reading. It's slowly sinking in for me, but like you, I constantly have to remind myself. And what a relief it's been not trying to be "the perfect wife" anymore.

Dee at Mt Bully

It's amazing how hard it is to get that point. At first the more I tried to get it the more
I tried to control everything. Now thanks to everyones help I'm starting to realize that
I can only control myself. I can write it say it sing it, but there are still days when I can not live it. It's hard to let the AH go marrily along his way (ruining his life and mine)
and not try to take control and fix (him) things. I'm very happy for you and I'm inspired.
Good job. Smiles--Dee

JessicaNAJ

Way to go Prodigal!!!