Hello, My Name is Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fargo ND
Posts: 17
Hello, My Name is Amy
I am new to this site. I am a drug addict and an alcoholic. I have been clean and sober for 16 days this time and before that 5 1/2 months. I am having a very hard time with staying clean this time. I am in an outpt treatment program two days a week for 4 hours and one individual session a week. This time though I do not have the support of my husband. I hope that this site will give me some feedback as I feel I know longer want to stay in my marriage. I really need his love and support. I should also say that he just went through gastric bypass surgery on Dec 13th and has pain killers (my drug of choice) in our home. Please help.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Amy,welcome to SR.This is a great place with lots of support and good people.As far as your husband goes.I dont know what to say.I would not worry about it right now.Just take things one day at a time and focus on your recovery.They say no major changes the first year.Are you going to AA/NA meetings?You may also want to try reading "A new pair of glasses" by Chuck C. http://store.sgly.com/w6.html
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Originally Posted by aekjpack
I cant bring myself to go to meetings. I have soooo much more social anxiety.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Amy Welcome
Amy,
There's A Lot Of Real Nice People On This Site. Everyone In Here Can Offer Suggestions But, I Strongly Encourage You To Find A Meeting. Going To A Meeting Was Part Of The Healing Process. Walking Into The First Meeting Made Me Humble. Are You At The Point That, You Realize You're Powerless Over The Drugs?
I'm Not Saying You Can't Stay Clean And Sober Without Going To Face To Facebut, If You're Like So Many Of Us In Here We Had To Have The Support From A Sponser And The Group. I Want To Tell You You'll Be Welcomed At A Meeting. We Share Our Experience Strength And Hope At Meetings.it's So Much Better Having A Sponser You Can Run Things Past.
What Ever You Decide, We Are Here For You I Hate To See Any One Suffer From Addiction.
Keep Coming Back
Chris
There's A Lot Of Real Nice People On This Site. Everyone In Here Can Offer Suggestions But, I Strongly Encourage You To Find A Meeting. Going To A Meeting Was Part Of The Healing Process. Walking Into The First Meeting Made Me Humble. Are You At The Point That, You Realize You're Powerless Over The Drugs?
I'm Not Saying You Can't Stay Clean And Sober Without Going To Face To Facebut, If You're Like So Many Of Us In Here We Had To Have The Support From A Sponser And The Group. I Want To Tell You You'll Be Welcomed At A Meeting. We Share Our Experience Strength And Hope At Meetings.it's So Much Better Having A Sponser You Can Run Things Past.
What Ever You Decide, We Are Here For You I Hate To See Any One Suffer From Addiction.
Keep Coming Back
Chris
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Jasper, GA
Posts: 239
Amy...
...many of us had reasons to not go to meetings...too many people (we're shy), not enough people (we want to hide in a crowd), wrong kind of people, don't want to see people we know and some are there, want to see people we know and there is no one we know there, and on and on and on. But there is just one bottom line...
Do you REALLY want to stat clean/sober?
Remember, you have to...HAVE to...be willing to do whatever it takes, and there is no easier, softer way. You've been taught the necessary tools to maintain your recovery. Use them.
As for your hubby's painkillers, I'd tell him that your sobriety is THE most important thing in your life and either you or the painkillers stay in the house but not both. In the future you might be able to deal with them being there, but not as shaky as you are right now.
Hang in there girl...you can do it if you use the recovery tools you know, keep it one day at a time, and lean on Him for help.
BubbaBob
Do you REALLY want to stat clean/sober?
Remember, you have to...HAVE to...be willing to do whatever it takes, and there is no easier, softer way. You've been taught the necessary tools to maintain your recovery. Use them.
As for your hubby's painkillers, I'd tell him that your sobriety is THE most important thing in your life and either you or the painkillers stay in the house but not both. In the future you might be able to deal with them being there, but not as shaky as you are right now.
Hang in there girl...you can do it if you use the recovery tools you know, keep it one day at a time, and lean on Him for help.
BubbaBob
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Hey Amy,
Welcome, glad you found us. I used to suffer from horrendous anxiety/panic attacks before I stopped using (I don't know if that's what you mean by "social anxiety" though). It's possible that you could get some help by talking to your doctor about it. But also, I think for me a lot of it was just going to meetings even though I was nervous as all get out at first. Today, sometimes I'll just sit at the table before the real meeting starts and marvel at the fact that I can just sit at the table. For me, that has been one of the many small miracles that have happened since I decided I'd had enough of the drinking and comitted myself to actually doing something about it.
Here's a piece of wisdom that one of my favorite people (and also one of my therapists) gave me:
One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless
Welcome, glad you found us. I used to suffer from horrendous anxiety/panic attacks before I stopped using (I don't know if that's what you mean by "social anxiety" though). It's possible that you could get some help by talking to your doctor about it. But also, I think for me a lot of it was just going to meetings even though I was nervous as all get out at first. Today, sometimes I'll just sit at the table before the real meeting starts and marvel at the fact that I can just sit at the table. For me, that has been one of the many small miracles that have happened since I decided I'd had enough of the drinking and comitted myself to actually doing something about it.
Here's a piece of wisdom that one of my favorite people (and also one of my therapists) gave me:
No matter what happens, your head will not explode and you will not fall off the face of the earth.
It sounds kinda simple and a bit hokey, but so does "One Day at A Time" and "Meeting Makers Make It" and all the other little A.A./N.A. sayings until you start to believe that it can happen for you if you want it bad enough and become willing to do whatever it takes to get it.One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Amy,I really hope you give the meetings a try.Once you get to know people there,you will find the best friends you ever had.Either way whatever you decide,I am glad you joined us here at SR.Keep coming back.I have only been here a couple months and have allredy met some great people.
The Serenity Plus Plan
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: The Garden State
Posts: 157
Hi Amy and welcome to SR.
This is a wonderful place and it has helped me stay sober through some very difficult times. The people here are so kind and caring.
I didn't go to AA meetings for a long time because I felt that I could do it on my own. I was wrong. But I'll tell you, the people at those meetings are terrific! They know exactly what you're going through because they've been there.
I went to a meeting on Wednesday night. I was sitting there listening to a person talk and this incredible feeling of safety - of being safe - came over me and I realized that's one of the reasons I like going so much.
If you feel unsure about whether you can go to a meeting or not - just try going to one and sitting in the back. You don't have to talk to anyone, you don't have to introduce yourself, just listen and see if you like it or not. I really think you'll like it, so give it a try. Trust me, I wouldn't be suggesting this if it hadn't worked for me.
I wish you the best.
Richard
This is a wonderful place and it has helped me stay sober through some very difficult times. The people here are so kind and caring.
I didn't go to AA meetings for a long time because I felt that I could do it on my own. I was wrong. But I'll tell you, the people at those meetings are terrific! They know exactly what you're going through because they've been there.
I went to a meeting on Wednesday night. I was sitting there listening to a person talk and this incredible feeling of safety - of being safe - came over me and I realized that's one of the reasons I like going so much.
If you feel unsure about whether you can go to a meeting or not - just try going to one and sitting in the back. You don't have to talk to anyone, you don't have to introduce yourself, just listen and see if you like it or not. I really think you'll like it, so give it a try. Trust me, I wouldn't be suggesting this if it hadn't worked for me.
I wish you the best.
Richard
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Rogers Arkansas
Posts: 2
Keep your head up
Amy, Hang in there. Your not alone. I'm new here but I've been looking through this site and there are alot of caring people here. I'm glad you joined. I have a brother that was a herion attic and an alcoholic a little more than 20 yrs . Now he's been sober for 8 years and his getting his Masters degree in Sicology (did I spell that right?
) Working with Alcoholic and Drug addictions. I'm so proud of him. Be strong
) Working with Alcoholic and Drug addictions. I'm so proud of him. Be strong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fargo ND
Posts: 17
Merry Christmas Everyone! Thank you all for being here for me. I made it one more day. It does seem to be getting easier. I have decided that I will try going to a meeting tomorrow. (Sunday) It is a womens mtg that I have gone to in the past and I really enjoyed. I am hoping the women I want to ask to be my sponsor will be there. I am ready to ask her. (its about time) lol Thanks again everyone. I really appreciate all of the support I am getting here since my husband isnt supportive.
Amy
Amy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Amy,Merry Christmas.I am glad to hear that you made it through another day.I am also glad to hear you decided to give the meetings a shot.I think thats a good decision.Keep us posted on how it goes.
knucklehead
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: earth
Posts: 694
Amy, how are you doing today? My name is Keith I dont go to meetings. I am becoming a sober and happy person. This is what works for me I borrow bits and peices of different recovery theories and then add myself into the mix. It does keep it interesting. Nomatter what you do to stay sober I have found abstinence works the best every moment, a day at a time. Good luck Amy and stay in touch.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hi Amy
Welcome and glad you are here.
I hope your women's meeting goes well and that the woman you are hoping to be there, will be there.
I too attend a women's meeting on Sunday and truly enjoy it.
Keep hanging around here, there really is a wonderful group of folks around here.
Welcome and glad you are here.
I hope your women's meeting goes well and that the woman you are hoping to be there, will be there.
I too attend a women's meeting on Sunday and truly enjoy it.
Keep hanging around here, there really is a wonderful group of folks around here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fargo ND
Posts: 17
I attended a mtg tonight. It felt a little strange at first but I adjusted and got something from the mtg. I am so grateful to be clean and sober. Thank you all for your support. I really appreciate it.
Amy
Amy
Learning as I go
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 730
Hi Amy, Glad you made it to a meeting. I was sooo scared to go to a meeting alone the 1st time. I new I wouldn't go without help. I called our hotline and asked for help getting there. Best place I ever went. I hope you will continue to go, it gets better each meeting. Have a good clean New Year and see ya around the boards!!
much love and big hugs......na4today
much love and big hugs......na4today
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,540
((((((((((Amy)))))))))))))
Sorry for the late welcome. Welcome to SR! This is a great place with loving, supportive people. Come here often and keep going to those meetings if you can.
Love,
Ang
Sorry for the late welcome. Welcome to SR! This is a great place with loving, supportive people. Come here often and keep going to those meetings if you can.
Love,
Ang
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Amy,
Glad to hear that you went to a meeting. Like na4today said, it gets easier each time you go. I have met some of the most wonderful people at meetings. I have a list of people I could call for help. I have a whole new group of friends. Keep coming around here, too. I have a lot of friends here, also. We a great bunch of people.
Sherry
Glad to hear that you went to a meeting. Like na4today said, it gets easier each time you go. I have met some of the most wonderful people at meetings. I have a list of people I could call for help. I have a whole new group of friends. Keep coming around here, too. I have a lot of friends here, also. We a great bunch of people.
Sherry
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Jose California
Posts: 1
Use a lock box for Pain Killers
Hi Amy,
Glad to hear you went to a meeting, I have 35 days today and I can relate.
My wife went through surgury 35 days ago and I thought I could avoid taking her Vicodin. I found out I could not so the relaps happened. Scared the crap out of me. I went to a store and bought a combination lock and a tool box and told my wife to please lock up her pills. This gave me and her peice of mind. Also should that I am taking action to recover. This is a suggestion that worked for me.
I dove into N/A meetings and they REALLY help. I too was scared to meet new people etc. Just keep going to those meeting as much as possible and put your recovery first. This is what I am trying to do myself. Everyday gets better. Lots of love out there for addicts I am now realizing. Its amazing.!!!
take care,
-chappy
Glad to hear you went to a meeting, I have 35 days today and I can relate.
My wife went through surgury 35 days ago and I thought I could avoid taking her Vicodin. I found out I could not so the relaps happened. Scared the crap out of me. I went to a store and bought a combination lock and a tool box and told my wife to please lock up her pills. This gave me and her peice of mind. Also should that I am taking action to recover. This is a suggestion that worked for me.
I dove into N/A meetings and they REALLY help. I too was scared to meet new people etc. Just keep going to those meeting as much as possible and put your recovery first. This is what I am trying to do myself. Everyday gets better. Lots of love out there for addicts I am now realizing. Its amazing.!!!
take care,
-chappy
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