WorriedWife

It will be 2 weeks tomorrow that my husband stopped drinking cold turkey
Last week was good but this week he has been very moody, somewhat speechless toward me , makes me feel like im being punished for his not drinking , I dont know what to do i try to talk to him as nice as i can and all i get is a no answer or snapped at i am very confussed as to what he needs right now i have tried but it just isnt working is this normal ? What can i do ?
Please help ..
Thanks *Maria*

JT

Worried,

I would say yes that is normal. Picture a person trying to quit smoking or eating donuts because the doctor said they had to. He doesn't want to do this. Somewhere along the way he has been told that he has to quit because it is bad for his health or because he has toppled his last Christmas Tree. So I would say being ornry would be perfectly normal.

What can you do? You can focus on yourself and not get all caught up in his drama.

Hugs,
JT

Cap3

Hey W-Wife,i had quit drinking for 5 years.I am alcoholic.I had no recovery program,at that time,nor any tools to live by.I white-kuckled it.I was like a bird on a wire for those years.Because all i did was put down the drink...I still had my alcoholic...mind...I had a ..living problem...And eventually i went back to drinking.Alcoholism is a disease of my mind,body and my spirit.There is so,much more to soberiety than just putting down that drink.This is a great start,but i needed ..recovery.And so i headed to the doors of AA.I also go to al-anon,too...alcoholism is a family disease.All are affected..Al-anon is a program for the family,loved ones,who are living,with or dealing with an alcoholic,for their own ..recovery.Without some kind of help,your man may be going through a host of things.But you dont have to.You can find recovery,in al-anon.You are no longer all alone.You may also want to get information about alcoholism.
Thanks for letting me share,,
God Bless,,take care!!!!!!!!

WorriedWife

So for now what should i do just stay my distance ?
Or keep trying to let him know im here ?
Sorry for all the ?'s but im just lost as what to do i have never delt with something like this before Thanks ..

Peaches04

Hi WorriedWife... I was just go about living your life and doing your own thing. Do whatever you need to do to keep your spirits up - remember, that he is struggling or in a foul mood, does not mean you have to be too! This is HIS struggle, just as you will have yours dealing with it. Just ignore his foul mood, and if he does not want to talk - call a friend. The best thing you can do is be a good example of how a healthy, happy person functions... It's such a difficult disease for us all - I wish you peace sweetie...and Happy Holidays...remember, it's up to YOU how you want to be - happy or dependent on his mood to determine yours.

GA_Peach_2005

How I understand your pain. 27 Jan will be one year ago that my husband died. The death certificate said heart faillure, actually it was from alcoholism that just plain wore out his body and his heart. I'm sitting here crying now because I miss him - but I don't feel guilty! I was the only one that could get him to sober up. I didn't give up on him, he'd quit drinking for me, but he'd start back. Everytime he quit drinking we'd have a wonderful life, when he's start back, we had no life. Don't ever give up. Please encourage him to get help, not only for you but for himself and your life together. I'm left behind, but the man loved me more than anything but the alcohol, he just couldn't fight the addiction. I've just joined this club hoping that I can finally get some peace from all I've been through and the hatred for the alcohol that took his life. This might not be the answer, but I'll keep trying until time takes away the pain of the loss. They are worth fighting for - don't EVER give up!!!

zoe

I have started a journal to write down the days events and my feelings about them. It has helped me greatly to see the actions and reactions. I can read back through and see what was done right and what could have been done in a different or better way. It also helps to keep me in reality. The worry and doubt seem to fade away when I put it to paper.
Z

pmaslan

Hi W Wife....
The last time my A tried to quit drinking he did it for 28 days. During that time he was quiet and withdrawn, I thought it was me. I started to act out toward him because I felt rejected by him. He did go back to drinking on Christmas Eve, for reasons I'm still not clear on. He is again attempting to be sober, he came home from Detox Thursday, so today is day 5 of no alcohol. He is a bit more social this time around, more open and loving with me, but again it is only day 5, who knows how he will feel next week. I have made up my mind that if he does withdraw I will pretend not to notice and work on me. I talked with him this morning about my feelings on detachment and it scared him. He thinks once I totally detach and begin living my life again, I will leave him. He is so wrong. If he goes back to drinking I will leave him, if he stays sober and loving, as he is now, I will stay forever. Keep your chin up.
Love, Patty