eddie z.

I'm panel coordinator for an H&I meeting at an outpatient treatment center and this is about the guy who was supposed to step up and take my place next year, my alternate. The meeting is twice a month and he came to the first meeting of the term back in August late (The place IS hard to find!), then before the second meeting, he called and said he wasn't coming due to a doctor appointment.

Then he disappeared. Didn't come to the subcommittee meetings. Nobody had seen him when I asked. About a week or two ago, he called me and asked me for $20 "for a car payment." I just told him I didn't have it to spare. After we hung up, I wished I had said something else. He sounded messed up and I'm just assuming he's using. But what could I have said? It's just so SAD!

Peace, love, and hugs,
Eddie

Gooch

bummer Eddy....

It takes what it takes for us. Hope he finds the answers that make sense for him.

thanx2methodone

You did the right thing eddie.

There is no reason why you should be handing out money to anyone who askd for it.
You can't fix someone's problems for them, (although many of us try)

All you can do is be there for him when he is ready to get help, and pray that he gets it soon.

Good Luck,
lots of love

CAPTAINZING2000

Lol I'd Have Gave It To Him If, You Didn't Ever Wan't Him Around Anymore. None Of Us Are Banks. I'd Take A Drunk And Buy Him Something To Eat But, That's It. We Don't Give Away Money. Period.

eddie z.

Thanks, Gooch, T2M, Cap'n!! I KNOW I did the right thing not giving him the money. I just felt I should have said something else letting him know I didn't believe him, but that he should come back to NA, you know?
—EZ

Ama

Eddie,

I have two schools of thought co-existing in my head. One would do exactly what you did!!!! The other lives in a silly land of compassion though you see. I would actually have given him the money because I would know that he is using but just not yet ready to stop. I have passed so many homeless alcoholics on the streets here in Dublin. I go and buy them sugary tea or coffee - I ask them what they would prefer and sometimes its a hot chocolate! Then I get them a Danish pastry and slip them a €5. It is NOT for me to judge you see. And just maybe they will be touched by my little gesture and know that someone does care and does not judge. I cannot abide people judging you see. That is something perhaps that I must overcome - but it comes down to - do unto others as you would have them do unto you!!!!!!

Yip I am only 15 days sober so need to clean this messed up head of mine - but I sincerely hope I will never loose that bit of me - its one of the few bits that I actually like you see!!!!

Sorry to be all confusing etc........You were right though - Luvs Ama

Hadenuff

Hi Eddie,
My view and I guess it could be called my personal policy. I will share my experience, strength and hope but when it comes to lending money to people in the program the answer is always no.
If I may add I also won't work or do business with with others I am in contact with through my meetings and that share recovery with me. My recovery is our recovery which is a WE thing but such dealings I keep seperate. I've found for me when I mix the two it dosn"T work.
I'll help with a ride, I've moved about a ton of furniture, grabbed a meal on me, renovate a home.
my 2 cents
H

Debby

You said the right thing. Who pays 20 dollars for a car payment? You helped him by making it harder for him not to get anything else. You did the right thing.

eddie z.

Thanks, Ama, Hadenuff, and Debby!

That's a shame, Ama, because there is LOTS about you to like (even if you did think I was a guy, teehee)!

Have to run!
Peace, etc.,
Eddie

thanx2methodone

Eddie!!

I love your little kitty pic!! It's halarious!!

Ama

Ahhhh Eddie,

I feel thick now!!! Yes I did think you were a guy - twas the name you see!!!! But I have been known to be a wallace (hehehhehe) as well as a big thick softie.....

Thank yo for your kind words - it never ceases to amaze me how a such a simple yet thoughtful gesture can mean so very very much!!!!!

You are a pet......Luvs & Recovery Ama

eddie z.

Thanks, T2M! Many months ago, someone else used the same avatar. I can't remember where I found it though. Some animated gif site I guess.

And thanks again, Ama! I'm a pet? Aw, gee.

Ama

A course you are a Pet!!!! A kitty according to your avatar!!!!! hehehehhe Gosh I am really getting sober - Scary but NICE!!!!

Nah really and truely you are a wonderful gal......A petal!!!!! Luvs Ama

BubbaBob

...WATCH IT!!! LOL

BubbaBob

Ama

Bubba - Gromit!!!!! :-)

eddie z.

So that's Wallace as in ...and Grommit? It's been a while since I saw any of them, so what does it mean to be a Wallace then?
—EZ

In memory of miracle

((( Eddie ))) That is sad..I know how you feel,it is heartwrenching to watch those we care about go in and out,I usto be the one who did revolving door AA,all we can do is be a power of example..what kind of car requires a 20 payment?*lol* As for a Wallace and a Grommit,I have no idea! Peace,Trish

Ama

Being a wallace means ACCEPTANCE - having sobriety - knowing that I am a wallace it cooooooolllllll - British cartoon characters you see - Wallace and Gromit!!! And I am now on a loverly day 16 - and AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING - I have just cleared my mortgage arrears - EUR 4,000+ This girl is really rocking!!!!

BubbaBob

...being a Beaton, sept of MacBeth, I thought it might be a (typical) Brit slap at we Scots...typical given 700-900 years of history...LOL

BubbaBob

eddie z.

Trish,
I think he meant $20 TOWARDS a car payment. Should I have just flat-out said I didn't believe him?

Ama,
Oh, I've seen some Wallace and Grommit videos, but it's been years, so I'm still not sure I get it. A bit thick, too. Oh, well...

—EZ