Need support

Old 07-08-2002, 09:34 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Chicago
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Unhappy Need support

Hi everyone..........
I am just asking for your support....here. It has been one very bad weekend...with My A, and having my family here for a joyous occassion( grandaughter's baptism) that was just about ruined by the A.
I am going back to see my attorney and get the financial area settled in my mind. My Mother, until this weekend, did not know really how I felt...she thinks I am crazy to put up with this behavior. I think I feel better she knows now and her care givers X was an A too...so I had much discussion this weekend.
I am not afraid to be alone...I am just afraid of going through all of this.......and I know what he is like when he is mad....he a mental button pusher and that scares me more than anything.

Love,
Kitty > ^.,.^ <
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Old 07-08-2002, 09:48 PM
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Ann
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Hey Kitty

We are all here for you.

You are wise to see your attorney and plan ahead. Try planning ahead mentally too, without beating yourself up with worry.

Plan how you will react or NOT react to his pushing your mental buttons. The thing about A's is that they keep pushing the same buttons over and over, and if we know ahead of time what buttons will be pushed, we can rehearse our reaction.

Set boundaries for yourself. If he gets angry, you do not have to participate...just walk away and go somewhere safe, or hang up, if it is by phone. Anger falls pretty flat when we refuse to participate and join in.

And practice relaxation methods. MG has several posted on her board, or read my "elephant" post...she walked me through that one with some great advice. This will help you stay grounded instead of jumping on the roller coaster with him.

Have lots of plans in place for the sort term and think positive about the long run.

You are not alone in this, we are all with you. And get thee to a meeting if you can. That will help you find support right there where you may need it.

You have come a long way Kitty - don't worry about the "in-between", you will get past that.

If he threatens you when he gets angry, prepare to take action and get out of harms way.

My prayers are with you.
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Old 07-08-2002, 10:01 PM
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Thanks Ann...........
I just need out of this relationship. I can somehow forgive when he is in a better mood for just a moment. But I know in my heart...he is not going to change....and actually I don't have much left for this peron. I have to move on.
Thanks for you support...
Love, Kitty
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Old 07-09-2002, 08:17 AM
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Morning Glory
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Kitty,

We're all here for you through all this. Ann gave some great advice. Try not to look ahead and worry about what might happen. Just take it a day at a time and handle it as it comes up with the plan that you have set up.


Hugs,

MG
 
Old 07-09-2002, 08:22 AM
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************{Kitty}}}}}}

We are here for you!!

Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie
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