Eight Ball

I am struggling with this scenario. Point me in the right direction please?

My dad (83yrs) is an alcoholic. Hes recently switched to cheap cider with red wine and whisky. He was having black stools for a while, then couldnt eat or keep anything down and lost weight. When he finally went to his GP, a month or so later, he was sent to hospital for a scan, scope and biopsy which showed he had aggressive stomach cancer in 75% of his stomach. He had three choices, chemo, do nothing or surgery. Do-nothing and chemo was a 3-6 month death sentence. He has had his stomach removed and is still in hospital recovering. No-one has told the doctors about his drinking and he is agitated. The nurses have moved him to another ward because he was being difficult. I keep saying to mum that the hospital should know about his drinking, in case he needs medication. He does sound like he is white knuckling! Mum doesn't want to say anything about his drinking because he isn't. Mum is still in denial that his drinking caused his cancer.

I am still trying hard to be healthy from living with my own alcoholic husband and I need some guidance.

Thanks.

Ariesagain

I am so sorry that you’re going through this...it’s painful on so many levels.

I suppose you could call the ward, ask to speak to the head nurse and just tell her the quantities you believe he drinks and how often.

OTOH,when they removed his stomach, chances are good they would have seen and recognized the signs of long-term alcohol abuse. It’s not all that common a procedure in otherwise healthy people, even seniors.

Ultimately, you don’t have any real ability to affect his outcome in this situation. In a way, that can be liberating...this is out of your hands, yes?

I send you my sincere sympathy and my hopes that you can find some peace with this.

trailmix

I'm also sorry you are going through this.

I would also suggest you let someone know that he is an alcoholic. The nurse, his doctor. I also agree with Aries that they probably already know. His personal doctor probably knew and may have shared that information.

However, you don't want him suffering needlessly, so you would be doing something good for him. Just in case they are not addressing it, because it should be addressed.

LLLisa

Please tell your father's medical team. It's more likely he may be experiencing severe alcohol detox which can lead to seizures. My father's behaviour in the hospital was accepted as "normal" to his medical team. It wasn't normal. They did not recognise his withdrawal symptoms because he was being treated for something else.

velma929

There's nothing to stop you from contacting your father's medical team with this information. THEY can't provide info to YOU without your father's permission, but you're free to say whatever you wish to them. Beyond giving his doctor this info, there is nothing you can do. I'm not sure if there is anything to be done for his cravings, and his compromised condition may limit the options even more. It sounds like both Mom and Dad have a hard time facing the truth of his alcoholism - but they've got a lot to process right now.

I'm so sorry.

dandylion

EightBall.....I am a medical professional and have faced this situation with my mother when she was alive. She was not an alcoholic, but, she was enormously stubborn and would not allow any family to speak with her doctors and refused to sign any release of information for her doctors to give out information.
There were times that I would call her doctor's office and tell them about vital information that she might not tell them. I knew that they couldn't legally give me information, however I knew that I could tell them anything, legally. For example, She didn't always take her blood thinners as she was supposed to. She also had an unhealing sore on her lower leg that she was hiding from them.
The doctor and the nurses appreciated that information, as they understood that my mother could be difficult, in this way.
Actually, this is not an uncommon situation with many patients.
I encourage you to call and tell them, right away. Also, as has been suggested---be sure to tell how long and the amounts that he drinks---when his last drink probably was--and, if he has ever had wirhdrawl symptoms similar to this in the past. In other words, all of the relevant info. that you can think of.
There are other condition that can cause restlessness after surgery, but certainly alcohol withdrawl is one, also. It is better to be safe than sorry.