Judgement
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2021
Posts: 122
Judgement
Let’s talk about judgement. Or being “judgemental”
ah tells me I’m judgemental. I should stop there because it starts with “ah tells me....”. But I’m checking myself.
I did not care for a group of people he hung out with. Some of the men (ah included clearly) cheated on their wives/ girlfriends and felt entitled to do so. They had a group chat together and when I looked at AH phone a few months ago, I was disgusted. All of them laughing and joking about women they’ve cheated with, exchanging pics of them, egging each other on, joking about lies they tell their wives:girlfriends and so on. Of course ah wanted to focus on how I saw “private” conversation between “men being men.” This wasn’t “locker room talk.” It was talk about actions and full of entitlement to be a sick-o. Degrading talk and mentality. Exactly what’s wrong with society in regard to women from some types of men.
thats “judgemental” of me?
how else would I or anyone else, decide who our people are, who we let in or keep away if we did not judge their behavior? Decide if morals or values are similar and so on.
he tried to say “if that’s how you are then you shouldn’t talk to anyone” as if everyone is like they are. Tried to level it and compare it to a friend I have who has been married to the same man for over 25 years and one year, they went through a rough patch. My friend kissed another man and admitted it immediately and they sought help. She discussed this with me as a regret. Not a right. In an honest way. Zero comparison to what an entire group chat of 12 men do. All their lies and deceit laid out for bragging rights. Sharing naked pics of strippers and women they use.
no, I don’t want to associate with people like that. If that means I’m “judgemental” then color me blue and give me a sash. I’m not racist ether and so I doubt you’ll find me in a room full of kkk members either. I wouldn’t want that around me. It would be a negative in my life and let’s face it, like I need more negative.
a friend or person could share anything with me and I wouldn’t “judge” them. I would listen. Try to understand and even if I couldn’t, I may learn something as long as they were from a place that has heart in the form of trying in some decent direction. We all make mistakes and poor choices. We are all imperfect. But we all are not sicko-s with a character flaw so deep it lives in a place of entitlement. Just my .02.
I don’t want to be “friends” with people who behave like that. I don’t want to associate with them either. Abusers, there’s no neutral. And I think if people would stop overlooking it and stop talking to such people, the problem would not be so big.
ah tells me I’m judgemental. I should stop there because it starts with “ah tells me....”. But I’m checking myself.
I did not care for a group of people he hung out with. Some of the men (ah included clearly) cheated on their wives/ girlfriends and felt entitled to do so. They had a group chat together and when I looked at AH phone a few months ago, I was disgusted. All of them laughing and joking about women they’ve cheated with, exchanging pics of them, egging each other on, joking about lies they tell their wives:girlfriends and so on. Of course ah wanted to focus on how I saw “private” conversation between “men being men.” This wasn’t “locker room talk.” It was talk about actions and full of entitlement to be a sick-o. Degrading talk and mentality. Exactly what’s wrong with society in regard to women from some types of men.
thats “judgemental” of me?
how else would I or anyone else, decide who our people are, who we let in or keep away if we did not judge their behavior? Decide if morals or values are similar and so on.
he tried to say “if that’s how you are then you shouldn’t talk to anyone” as if everyone is like they are. Tried to level it and compare it to a friend I have who has been married to the same man for over 25 years and one year, they went through a rough patch. My friend kissed another man and admitted it immediately and they sought help. She discussed this with me as a regret. Not a right. In an honest way. Zero comparison to what an entire group chat of 12 men do. All their lies and deceit laid out for bragging rights. Sharing naked pics of strippers and women they use.
no, I don’t want to associate with people like that. If that means I’m “judgemental” then color me blue and give me a sash. I’m not racist ether and so I doubt you’ll find me in a room full of kkk members either. I wouldn’t want that around me. It would be a negative in my life and let’s face it, like I need more negative.
a friend or person could share anything with me and I wouldn’t “judge” them. I would listen. Try to understand and even if I couldn’t, I may learn something as long as they were from a place that has heart in the form of trying in some decent direction. We all make mistakes and poor choices. We are all imperfect. But we all are not sicko-s with a character flaw so deep it lives in a place of entitlement. Just my .02.
I don’t want to be “friends” with people who behave like that. I don’t want to associate with them either. Abusers, there’s no neutral. And I think if people would stop overlooking it and stop talking to such people, the problem would not be so big.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,636
No that's not judgemental, it is a judgement and of course you are entitled to judge who you associate with.
Now, if we look at where he's coming from, well yeah, maybe he does find it judgemental. He doesn't see them as a bunch of sickos - he is one of them. He can't ever understand your point of view on this. You two are on two different pages/plains/planets.
Now, if we look at where he's coming from, well yeah, maybe he does find it judgemental. He doesn't see them as a bunch of sickos - he is one of them. He can't ever understand your point of view on this. You two are on two different pages/plains/planets.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2021
Posts: 122
Thanks trailmix Thought so.
afterall, we teach our children from a young age to stay away from certain types of behaviors in people. Life requires a type of judgement. And it should be used. Maybe harsher than it is given the fact this subgroup even exists in this forum 🤣
afterall, we teach our children from a young age to stay away from certain types of behaviors in people. Life requires a type of judgement. And it should be used. Maybe harsher than it is given the fact this subgroup even exists in this forum 🤣
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
That is truly disgusting and you are right about how if people stopped overlooking it the
problem wouldn't be so big.
If we didn't have a set of standards, morals and values we believe in and follow, well
we could just have Jeffrey Dahmer and the Manson gang over for dinner tomorrow
night....... That is a form of gas lighting/ projecting from his own sick head.
problem wouldn't be so big.
If we didn't have a set of standards, morals and values we believe in and follow, well
we could just have Jeffrey Dahmer and the Manson gang over for dinner tomorrow
night....... That is a form of gas lighting/ projecting from his own sick head.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,002
Originally Posted by Macyc 
I don’t want to be “friends” with people who behave like that.
Of course what he has said about you being "Judgmental" is typical quacking of an alcoholic. Don't pay it too much mind and keep those boundaries in place for yourself. Lots of folks out there that you and I don't want to hang with.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Macy.....I agree with what the others have responded. We all have to make judgements of many kinds just to get through the day.
I prefer to call it "making assessments". I think it is a better description for what you are talking about.
It is interesting, to me, that your description of his associates, reminds me of an old memory----I used to be friendly with a woman whose child went to the same school as my children. It so happened that her husband was a high level executive in a company that is one of the major corporations in this country. He wasn't the actual CEO---but, he was very high up in the organization. The corporate headquarters was in the city where we were living---just outside of the D.C. area,
She told me stories of the activities that went o n among the executives---especially at conferences and certain social situations. She shared some of the stories with me.
It seems that the organization "kept" a group of escorts for these men---for their convenience and entertainment. So I know what you are talking about!!
My friend---she seemed to have compartmentalized it---she didn't like it, but, she kept so occupied with her own small cottage business that had become pretty successful and caring for her only child who was in high school, at that time. It appeared, to me, that they actually lived parallel lives, within the same house---fairly detached, emotionally, from each other.
I have loving memories of my friend, as she was very kind and supportive of me, an held my hand during a difficult time that I was going through. I moved from that town, later, so, we eventually lost track of each other. She was very smart, and we laughed so much, together. She was very funny and very kind. lol---she had gained a few pounds, so she gave me lots of her old clothes, that fit me. They were of very high quality, and much better than I could have afforded. Oh, I have such good memories of my friend.
Now, when I see that company mentioned on tv and read articles---I smile (wryly) to myself, knowing some of what goes on behind the scene, that might shock some average people.
I prefer to call it "making assessments". I think it is a better description for what you are talking about.
It is interesting, to me, that your description of his associates, reminds me of an old memory----I used to be friendly with a woman whose child went to the same school as my children. It so happened that her husband was a high level executive in a company that is one of the major corporations in this country. He wasn't the actual CEO---but, he was very high up in the organization. The corporate headquarters was in the city where we were living---just outside of the D.C. area,
She told me stories of the activities that went o n among the executives---especially at conferences and certain social situations. She shared some of the stories with me.
It seems that the organization "kept" a group of escorts for these men---for their convenience and entertainment. So I know what you are talking about!!
My friend---she seemed to have compartmentalized it---she didn't like it, but, she kept so occupied with her own small cottage business that had become pretty successful and caring for her only child who was in high school, at that time. It appeared, to me, that they actually lived parallel lives, within the same house---fairly detached, emotionally, from each other.
I have loving memories of my friend, as she was very kind and supportive of me, an held my hand during a difficult time that I was going through. I moved from that town, later, so, we eventually lost track of each other. She was very smart, and we laughed so much, together. She was very funny and very kind. lol---she had gained a few pounds, so she gave me lots of her old clothes, that fit me. They were of very high quality, and much better than I could have afforded. Oh, I have such good memories of my friend.
Now, when I see that company mentioned on tv and read articles---I smile (wryly) to myself, knowing some of what goes on behind the scene, that might shock some average people.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2021
Posts: 122
It’s just sick dandylion
I remember when AH and I were younger, he was just as much an alcoholic but he didn’t have as much money. So of course he’s get kicked out of bars and so on for his behavior. Now? Oh my. Never! He’s just as obnoxious, loud. Rude. Drunk. Fight starting and so on. But he gets kicked out of nowhere in our town, which isn’t small FYI. Waitresses love when he comes in, they call all, trying to get his tab as high as they can because he doubles it for their tip. The owner? He’s kick out someone who complained about ah, never ah. Hell, they’d serve anyone with him whether they’re of age or not! No joke! It’s a whole load of people who would lie for him, trip over others to please him...... blows my mind that money blinds people to such a degree. If had women say to me “it must be so nice to be able to just pick up and go where ever you want whenever you want or buy whatever you want whenever you want....” and so on. What?!?!?? Is this fit conversation to someone you barely know? Things are not how they seem! I just smile and nod. While cringing inside! Look at my life people! He’s a loud, foul mouthed drunk....stop acting like it’s fabulous! If he didn’t pay such a hefty tab everyone he went and flash his stupid cars and designer clothes, you’d fine him repulsive! How does money erase what you’re seeing? Suddenly it’s fun? What?!?!!!!
sorry, rant. Phew. But seriously. It’s mind bending. I can go where ever and buy whatever? Oh. My. Goodness. I can’t even look someone in the eye without being accused of flirting! I can’t spend a dime without permission! I can’t go anywhere by myself! Or with a friend! Yeah, it’s awesome! Think people. Think!!!!!!!!!
If you’re of average means or under, you’re an alcoholic. If you’re wealthy or Rich, you’re fun?!!!!!
because he’s wealthy he’s a great drunk father. Never home. Always out until all hours but gets to keep his facade because he pays?!?!
he’s a 51 year old alcoholic/cocaine abusing jerk. But because his business hasn’t suffered he’s not those things socially. He’s a success. Good dad. Awesome husband to the people who see him every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday drunk and coked out who watch him cheat and other things.
sick. It’s sick I tell you!
I remember when AH and I were younger, he was just as much an alcoholic but he didn’t have as much money. So of course he’s get kicked out of bars and so on for his behavior. Now? Oh my. Never! He’s just as obnoxious, loud. Rude. Drunk. Fight starting and so on. But he gets kicked out of nowhere in our town, which isn’t small FYI. Waitresses love when he comes in, they call all, trying to get his tab as high as they can because he doubles it for their tip. The owner? He’s kick out someone who complained about ah, never ah. Hell, they’d serve anyone with him whether they’re of age or not! No joke! It’s a whole load of people who would lie for him, trip over others to please him...... blows my mind that money blinds people to such a degree. If had women say to me “it must be so nice to be able to just pick up and go where ever you want whenever you want or buy whatever you want whenever you want....” and so on. What?!?!?? Is this fit conversation to someone you barely know? Things are not how they seem! I just smile and nod. While cringing inside! Look at my life people! He’s a loud, foul mouthed drunk....stop acting like it’s fabulous! If he didn’t pay such a hefty tab everyone he went and flash his stupid cars and designer clothes, you’d fine him repulsive! How does money erase what you’re seeing? Suddenly it’s fun? What?!?!!!!
sorry, rant. Phew. But seriously. It’s mind bending. I can go where ever and buy whatever? Oh. My. Goodness. I can’t even look someone in the eye without being accused of flirting! I can’t spend a dime without permission! I can’t go anywhere by myself! Or with a friend! Yeah, it’s awesome! Think people. Think!!!!!!!!!
If you’re of average means or under, you’re an alcoholic. If you’re wealthy or Rich, you’re fun?!!!!!
because he’s wealthy he’s a great drunk father. Never home. Always out until all hours but gets to keep his facade because he pays?!?!
he’s a 51 year old alcoholic/cocaine abusing jerk. But because his business hasn’t suffered he’s not those things socially. He’s a success. Good dad. Awesome husband to the people who see him every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday drunk and coked out who watch him cheat and other things.
sick. It’s sick I tell you!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Macy....I hear every word you are saying! Money and power---the two great intoxicants.
Honestly, anywhere there exists lots of money--or power....if you go looking, you are sure to find lots of decadence and evil.
Macy....I am so glad that you are the way you are. I admire you for it. It sounds like you have passed on good values and traits to your children, also,
That is something to be proud of. and, something that nobody can take away from you.
Honestly, anywhere there exists lots of money--or power....if you go looking, you are sure to find lots of decadence and evil.
Macy....I am so glad that you are the way you are. I admire you for it. It sounds like you have passed on good values and traits to your children, also,
That is something to be proud of. and, something that nobody can take away from you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by Macyc
Let’s talk about judgement. Or being “judgemental”
I did not care for a group of people he hung out with. Some of the men (ah included clearly) cheated on their wives/ girlfriends and felt entitled to do so.
I did not care for a group of people he hung out with. Some of the men (ah included clearly) cheated on their wives/ girlfriends and felt entitled to do so.
"The Law of Attraction"
"Evil companionships corrupt good morals."
"He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed."
I am sorry you find yourself in this situation.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
