silvermaple

I have taken the steps for the better part of the last three years to put a healthy space between myself and my mother, who engages in substance abuse, and has since I was a child. I am middle-aged now. I made contact with her earlier last month, as I had an illness that made me unsure that no contact was something that I wanted. The contact did not go well. It went terribly. There is a cruelty that is hard to take.

Does anyone else feel like they have trouble getting out of bed after having an interaction with a loved one struggling with addiction? It has been four days since, and I developed bowel trouble, flu-like symptoms, kind of what I call "soul pain". I can't seem to summon the energy for life. I don't feel like I want to leave this world, I just feel sad. She is my mother.

What do you do to help yourself when you feel that way? If you feel okay sharing symptoms, what do you experience?

I have attended two years of therapy. I try to exercise and eat well.

I think my brain and body are realizing that, even if I have an illness myself, she is not accessible.

Grieving a person who is alive is a strange, to put it nicely, experience.

Macyc

Well, yes..... for a time after I attempt to live under the assumption Ah cares about me, I face the same thing.

their thinking is twisted. Distorted. And they think it’s ours. So no wonder I suppose. Doesn’t make it any easier to face.

Caramel

silvermaple, the symptoms you describe require a consultation with a health professional.

edoering

The human body can have physical symptoms after trauma events. It may be important to see a medical professional to make sure that your body is processing and healing from the experience properly, to ensure you don’t develop long term issues like PTSD.

This year, I’ve had a couple events that have triggered heavy migraines, vertigo, nausea, etc. However, the symptoms cleared up after a day or two once identified as a natural trauma response and given proper measures for recovery. Symptoms persisting longer than that might be concerning I think!