baxter

Has any parent ever apologized to their child after they continue to blame you for all their problems? I have had 8 years of stress free life and then bang, the RELAPSE. Not only did she relapse she decided to steal $8,000 from her neighbor. she says it was less, like that matters. When I found out about it her dad, my ex, and I were going to cover it to keep her out of prison. Her father said he had the amount, I sure didn't, but offered to pay one thousand. I paced the floor the whole night before we were to meet with the neighbor, didn't sleep or eat, and decided the next morning that I couldn't go back to the enabling and decided not to go. The phone call I got was very disturbing, as usual, I'm a worthless mother and deserve to rot in hell. Her dad did bail her out. Now, the texts don't stop. I broke her heart, I don't understand how down she was and knew not to take drugs but couldn't resist, how a mother should love her kids unconditionally, etc. Now, to find out she's been back on drugs for about 6 months. She said she was going to tell me about the drugs and ask for rehab but couldn't find the nerve to tell me. I say ********, she got caught and that's why. But, for some reason, I feel like I owe her an apology for backing out from that meeting. Am I crazy?

seekingcalm

Hi Baxter, Something I read once stayed with me..."If an addict is happy with you, you are most likely enabling them...if they are unhappy with you, we were most likely trying to save their lives". You have nothing to apologize for. You took the hard road, and someday your daughter may say "Thank you". You clearly have good instincts. Stay strong.