Mashabo

Hey, guys

It’s been a while, but I decided to come back here for a bit of support.

All in all everything is good, I’m working, hanging out a lot with my friends, getting to know new people. There are moments where I feel completely happy, but there are those I feel lonely. Like I need someone, like on my own I’m not complete - which of course it’s nonesense.

The ex started some weird IG profile (saw in suggestions) where he posts stuff like a diary, where he uses his philosophical bs, which okay, wouldn’t have been so bs if he did what he preaches. From that profile I saw that the miss “best therapist eva” created her own new weird IG where she posts her phycological “wisdom”. Reading her posts it’s evident where HE gets his “philosophy” from😄

Some days ago I saw that he watched my stories in IG from that weird profile, and since that day I started paying attention every time to who views my stories 🤦🏽‍♀️ It’s annoying, it’s like I went back a little.
I checked that he puts likes on all her pictures, from all profiles possible, and it made me feel bad, pissed off, questioning again “wtf you found there”, “why are they still together” and so on and so forth.

Those thoughts are not the same intense as they were before, but it’s still annoying I have them, and it means I’m still not completely over him. Which makes me think sometimes “of course it’s easy for him as he has someone, and it’s hard for me as I have to do it on my own”, but at the same time I know that it’s better.

With that being said, I just need a little support I guess. I know I should not check his social media, or hers whatsoever. That’s just so damn hard sometimes 😫

Kaptn

Mashabo, Glad to see you checking in. I also drop in on occasion, we all need to ground ourselves and remember why we are here for each other. I'm sorry to hear about the ex. Sometimes these things take a while to fade, but it will. Sending hugs!!

dandylion

What does IG stand for? In my world it stands for Intestinal Gas----but, I guess that is not it?

Ariesagain

Pretty sure it’s Instagram. But you were closer than you’d think!

Ariesagain

Mashabo…it’s good to hear from you. As for your ex and his should-have-her-licensed-revoked “psychologist”….if they’re so incredibly happy they’d be living it instead of yapping about it on the Interwebs. They’re both bullshitters…so at least they’re bullshitting each other instead of inflicting it on perfectly nice people, like you.

Don’t look at it. And block him, yes? If you can do that. I can’t keep up with the social media platform du jour. Regardless, peeking over his shoulder just keeps you looking backwards. It’s perfectly understandable, but best to pretend they moved to a remote island with no phone service and will never be heard from again.

It will get better! So in the poetic words of everyone’s mom, “it won’t heal if you keep picking at it like that.” So focus FORWARD, good woman. Onward!

trailmix

Yes, it is hard, it hasn't been that long but look how far you have come. I'm sure sometimes you feel Enough Already! Why can't I just forget him! It takes time, as you know and you just need to keep moving forward, which you are and so well.

I also get the looking at social media. I broke up with someone once and yes, I checked fb a few times and read part of the website he was putting up (about all his great religious philosophy pfthh). I only looked at that once. I can't say doing either was a good thing but, when I looked at it I did come away with "what an ass".

Sounds like the same type of experience. My ex (I don't even like to call him that because I'm sorry I ever met him but anyway) was an ass, a phony and he still is (well as far as I know). Putting on a big front with nothing substantial behind it. Lying to himself and others.

Yes, he has ms super psychologist, filling his head with ideas that he has no intention of ever acting on but it makes him feel good about himself to talk about it (no actions).

He has nothing you want, in fact you are far better off on your own.

It's also ok to be angry, that's normal.

dandylion

AriesAgain......LOL!!

Mashabo

You made me laugh haha, thank you
sorry, it stands for Instagram 😄

edoering

You are not alone! I actually restricted & muted my AXH. I wasn’t sure I was ready for not being able to see what he’s up to (giving up perceived control for no contact relief), so I just told myself I’d try it for a week and see if I felt better or worse.

I felt better. So much better.

Bekindalways

Hmmm . . . that is interesting. I like the "try it for a week" approach. It is similar to the "One day at a time.".

When I first left my qualifier, I never thought it was forever; that was too hard. I just focused on getting through the day without contacting him.

Good to hear from you Mashabo. Stay in touch if it is the right thing for you.

UrbanMermaid

My AH had an emotional affair with a woman. I stay on my side of the street most of the time, but in weak moments I have gone down the rabbit hole of looking her up and trying to figure out what was so special about her that he would hurt me like that and jeapordize our marriage. It's a dark, nasty rabbit hole that's filled with poop. No good ever comes from it. Give yourself some grace and consider it a weak moment and move on. And block that weird account! He doesn't deserve to get to keep up with you and what you're doing.