Flynn84

Hi everyone! I recently have been wondering about my 30 year old ex. We had a falling out in late October and have not spoken since. He went back to New York around Thanksgiving, and his parents took away his phone, so he couldn't contact me even if he wanted to. That said, his family's vacation home is in my complex making his parents my neighbors. I live in a very active and friendly community, so I have kept contact with his parents. They're pretty awesome people, and his dad has been here for months. His dad asked me to join him tomorrow for an event. I have kept our relationship separate from my ex and haven't asked about him. Would it be in poor taste to ask about my ex months later? I do miss him and am concerned about his alcohol and cocaine use. It's why I broke things off between us. I have a feeling that he is either in or went to rehab recently from some things his dad said. I know rehab isn't a cure all and he's got to want it.

Bekindalways

I don't think it would be inappropriate but I'm not sure. It might be painful for his father to talk about.

I did talk some with my qualifier's family but very little. Mostly I stayed away for my own sake.

Flynn84

That's how I view this as far as his father's potential feelings being stirred up. On the other hand, he's gone through it before since his son's been to rehab before, so he may have some advice for me for when he does come back for a visit. At the same time I'm hesitant because even if I do know if he's in or went to rehab, it will not change the outcome.

I think my curiosity is just getting the better of me since I still care about him.

SparkleKitty

If it were me, I would probably wait until his father brought up the subject.

dandylion

Flynn.......If I were in your shoes, I definitely would not bring it up. No contact is hard if you are still harboring romantic feelings---but, it is the best way toward healing and moving forward.
I think that bringing it up will probably stir the pot and result in tense feelings or either side. Why borrow trouble---or, even potential trouble?

In my experience...one question will lead to a certain answer---and, no matter what that answer is---it Always leads to even more questions (in the mind)...this leads to increased thinking about it, and just opens the door to regress to obsessional thinking about the ex....which, invariably will trigger more feelings. It is like a snowball rolling down hill.

Flynn84

I'm sure you're right. It's good to keep the relationships separate. His dad mentioned another thing today that makes me think he's in rehab, so I sure hope that's where he is. He practices a trade and his dad asked me for a recommendation for one, so he won't be doing the work. I just pray that he gets the help he needs and that it sticks for his sake.

Flynn84

I think that's probably for the best as well.