Butterfly

Hey guys It’s been a few years since I posted, January 2017 and I’m not sure if anyone will remember me but I hope everyone is safe and well.

ive thought for a while about posting to update everyone but kept thinking it’s been so long but here goes.

life if pretty damn amazing. My kids are amazing and I even fell in love and got married again. He is the most amazing man who is so supportive and loving I can’t believe how lucky I am, actually he’s the lucky one lol.

I stopped posting as I realised I continued to focus on my ex alcoholic husband and I needed to completely focus on myself. So I did and I’m so glad I did. I attended counselling, focused on what I wanted and needed and looked after my kids and ensured they felt safe and happy and you know what it worked. Slowly I began to rediscovery myself, a new me,a stronger me.

i was so depressed when my ex left me and blamed myself for his drinking, “why wasn’t I good enough” “what can I do to change to stop him from drinking” all the blame game on myself. I thought my world had fallen apart and I would only feel better if we got back together, as I would then be good enough for him and I could keep helping him. When I started to focus on myself I started to realise his drinking was his issue and I was not responsible for him his actions choices or decisions. I rediscovered myself and it felt amazing, I started to believe I was good enough, more than good enough.

My recovery is still ongoing and I need to focus on it daily and it’s hard work but easier than it was at the start. I still dip in and out of counselling when I’m going through a difficult time and that’s ok. I have the most amazing kids and husband who accepts me for who I am and has been so patient with me, encouraging and supporting me but most of all loves
me for me.

The kids still want to help my ex husband but are slowly realising he is an alcoholic and he will never change but he’s still their dad and they love him. He still continues to let them down but all I can do is support them. They do talk to me about it and I’m glad they feel they can. I don’t tell them what to do with him just listen and guide them. They are coming to their own realisations 😔.

anyway wherever you are on your recovery keep the focus on you and most of all be gentle on yourself.

thank you to everyone who supported me when I was on this site. Your love, support and honesty helped me get to where I am now and I couldn’t be more thankful 😘😘.

Nd819

What a great update and testament to your hard work! I am very happy that things have turned out so well for you, it gives hope to us all.

Givenup2018

Love these kind of updates, so happy that you got out and met a wonderful husband. Wishing you and your family all the love and happiness you deserve. Good for you!

Butterfly

Thanks guys. I think I will always be in recovery and I’m good with that as it means I keep focusing on me and learning about myself. It took many years for me to realise my ex would never stop drinking and it wasn’t my fault.

there is hope for everyone no matter what choices we make whether we stay or leave. The most important thing is to keep bringing the focus back to ourself and not on the alcoholic and be gentle on yourself

Butterfly

Thanks guys. I think I will always be in recovery and I’m good with that as it means I keep focusing on me and learning about myself. It took many years for me to realise my ex would never stop drinking and it wasn’t my fault.

there is hope for everyone no matter what choices we make whether we stay or leave. The most important thing is to keep bringing the focus back to ourself and not on the alcoholic and be gentle on yourself

SparkleKitty

I absolutely remember you Butterfly, and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to wake up to this particular update.

dandylion

I remember you very well, Butterfly! I am so happy for you and delighted that you decided to visit and share your wonderful story. I know that your story will be inspirational for many others who read this forum.
All of the best to you and yours.

Butterfly

Thank you sparklekitty and dandylion. You were both a big part of this group who really helped me. Thank you so much ❤️

honeypig

I also remember you, butterfly. It's great to hear from you, and great to know that you continue to learn and grow. Wishing you all the best on this fine morning!

Sueby

I love this update! It’s so nice to hear “other side” stories that give hope to others.

Butterfly

I miss you all. I don’t know how to say how much you all helped me in my recovery. Those first few months/first year was awful for me and I felt so alone. But finding this place and everyone here helped me through so much pain and helped me understand that his addiction and my own trauma due to my family was not my fault and I needed to work through that regardless of how difficult it was. For that I am forever grateful 😘😘

PeacefulWater12

Lovely update, Butterfly. Thank you for sharing. Inspiring.