AAmanda26

I'm desperate, tired and worried. My husband recently went into a detox treatment center for alcoholism. Its only 7 days. It cost us 7,000. They have him on diazepam. He called me to get his banking info, even though we already paid. Sketchy right? They wanted him to go to an expensive treatment center which doesn't except insurance. 10,000 for 30 days NO WAY, we can't afford it! I did my own research and found a sober living house that seems amazing, structured and affordable. Only 150.00 per week. I brought this up to the detox and they tried shutting it down immediately just because the place accepts people from jail. Like that's a bad thing? They went to jail for non violent drug offenses. They are human beings, like my husband! When I insisted my husband be informed of other possible options outside of "their network" of treatment centers, the person flipped out. She went on and on about how she knows better because their treatment center saved her life, her family members life and her friends ( but she doesn't know how much it cost). I insisted again that he just be informed of other more affordable options. She tells me he wants to go to the place she suggested, that he already filled out release forms ( remember he is detoxing and they have him on diazepam). When I insisted he have the chance (if he wants) to talk to the sober house manager of the place I think could help him she said fine if you want to talk to your husband he will give you a call shortly. Obviously I said yes. He did call me (10 mins later) and he sounded doped up (from the diazepam?) but also he got mad at me for questioning this lady ( who is trying to sell him treatment to their network of services$$$$) because she knows from experience. Pretty much I'm scared, unsure, and never expected something positive to turn into a battle. My husband is sick and detoxing. They have him on drugs. They allowed him to sign release of information forms. They aloud him to call me to get our banking info. All the calls are facilitated and listened to. I think my husband is getting exploited. Am I crazy? Am I overthinking this? Am I wrong to be concerned? Has anyone had similar experiences and advice?

JamesW

I feel for you, it seems you are struggling alone. please try to get some help, or others to share this burden.

Personally I always follow the money, if anyone appears to be pressurising you, just say you need to discuss with you Mother/Brother/Lawyer.

Alone I quite good I hear,

Best of luck

trailmix

Hi AAmanda26, no I haven't experienced this.

If this is your gut feeling about it, don't question that. From what you have said they sound very pushy and unyielding. Is the goal to help your Husband get sober or is the goal to get all the money from him they can? It seems to be the latter.

This is a very emotional time for you both and as you know there are people, unfortunately, who will try to take advantage of that. She isn't worried about your mortgage or your bank account or the fact that your husband is drugged and detoxing and not working right now and that you are worried, that is a huge red flag there (sorry that term is over-used).

I would absolutely back away from anything they suggest. There are others here who have experience with rehab situations and I am sure they will be along to offer you some wisdom. Hang in there, you are not crazy.

Nd819

AAmnda, I agree with trailmix, trust your gut. The fact that they are having him call to get banking information while he is medicated is frightening. I don't have any experience with rehabs but I do live in a town that had a ton of rehab/sober living homes (little beach town that I guess looks good to desperate families), the nightmares I would hear about these places were terrible. Overcharging insurance companies, employees with absolutely zero experience, kicking people out on the streets when they ran out of money, and people od'ing in their facilities. I would be very, very careful, if they are getting belligerent they do not have your families best interests in mind.

aasharon90

Back in 1990, my family had a court order to get me
evaluated at a treatment facility that dealt with addiction.
My husbands job offered a benefit for family members
with addiction and needing help.

I was there for the first 2 weeks before they told me
that if i returned home that I would surely relapse again
and wanted to send me away to a halfway house out
of town and further away from my little family.

With much pleading and asking them to keep me where
I was that i would do what was necessary to complete a
total of 28 days instay with a 6 week outpatient aftercare
program attached to complete that treatment.

Sure enough i did stay but dont know the total cost of it.

My family sought help for me out of care and concern,
and from there i did whatever was necessary to get thru
rehab. before being released and then took the seeds of
a recovery program planted in my heart, mind and soul
and built a recovery foundation to live my life upon for some
30 yrs now.

There wasn't any need for any kind of meds i needed to
be on and used the program of recovery with willingness,
openmindedness and honesty to get me where I am today.

SparkleKitty

I absolutely think you need to trust your gut, and if you can’t afford something, you can’t afford it.

I think it should be clear though that an in house treatment/rehab center and a sober living facility are not the same thing.

Sueby

I don’t have much to add except that all the 30 day programs do run $10k + around here too. My AH has completed 2 so far, seeing the literature on cost was a bit staggering...

They are all private facilities (around here at any rate) that rely on the funding to cover expenses and payroll, so I can see how they would “push” to keep someone longer as it does help their bottom line and is ideally better for patients. But the pushing would seriously pi$$ me off as you’ve explained your financial situation and they aren’t listening.

I doubt he’d be doped up from Valium, it would pretty much just keep him calm for withdrawal purposes. He’d still be able to make conscious decisions and be present. My AH was on it while in treatment last fall as they were nervous about him having withdrawal seizures during the first 2 weeks. He had drank right up until the night before check in. He drank 3 days out of treatment, so he obviously was not ready for it, but his employer required him to do a program in order to return to work, and (luckily) paid for this one. My work insurance doesn’t cover addiction treatment programs like these. He doesn’t have insurance at his job.

Nothing I’ve said would help you lol, but I do understand having to be careful about money around these large financial decisions. Taking a loan out to pay, or using all your savings, and then him drinking would be devastating. I’m so happy we aren’t out the 11k for AH’s program, we would have had a hard time rebounding from losing that money as he lost his job when he didn’t return to work. Take care of yourself, this is hard on you too 💕💕