Sharing my update

Old 02-17-2021, 12:42 PM
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Sharing my update

Hello everyone! Hard to believe that my last post was in July of 2018! I said I would try to post more often and look at that, 2 ½ years gone by. I think of this forum quite often. I may not be here to post daily but this forum is on my mind more than you think.

First things first – my RAH has been sober for 4 years now. As the years past he has opened up to me more and more about the things he used to do and how he would “hide” his alcohol, where he would “hide” his alcohol. He amazes himself how far he has come and cannot imagine living like that again. He says he feel free from the bondage of addiction. He is still doing very well with his management position he found in December 2017 (or was it 2018).

Me – well I moved from my toxic job situation in March 2019 and never looked back. I look a leap of faith and took a position that I have NEVER done before. My supervisor believed in me and she has been such a wonder mentor. It is almost a fairy tale; I was so unbelievably miserable at my old job and now this job is too good to be true. I love what I do now and the people I work with are amazing. I have been working from home since March 2020 due to the pandemic. During that time, I became ill and underwent surgery. All is good now and I am all healed up. Just doing the best we can during this weird time of virtual everything!

Now my two DD’s – I am such a proud mom! My oldest graduated from high school in June 2019. She has since landed a fantastic “big girl” job making some “big girl” money and continuing her education thru on-line college. She is focused on cyber security and is working in that field right now. Has a 4.0 GPA, bought her own car a little over a year ago. She is on a roll. Best news is the relationship between her and her dad (my RAH) has mended beautifully. They are very close now and even meet up for lunch on some days. She has really blossomed into a vibrant young lady. There is no stopping her!!

My youngest DD is a Freshman in high school. Virtual school has been a challenge for us, but we do our best to keep her interested. Unfortunately for her she missed her ‘senior” year in middle school and her entire Freshman year in high school. There are no sports, no hanging with friends, no skating rinks, it really sucks. So, my RAH and I try to take her to out to learn to drive in empty parking lots. And sometimes we go to PetSmart to see kitties, masked up and social distancing of course. She and I are home all day together. I work at my desk in my bedroom and she goes to school in her bedroom. I really enjoy being home with her and our animals.

I came here so many years ago lost and broken and so many of you helped me thru some tough times. If you are a newcomer please do yourself a favor and, listen (read) with an open mind. Breathe. Make time for yourself. Not everyone’s story is the same. Not everyone’s outcome will be YOUR outcome. Take what you want and leave the rest. Be gentle with yourself and most of all, NEVER give up on yourself!!

Love, peace and hugs to all of you
~Knowthetriggers
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Old 02-17-2021, 04:07 PM
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Wow! What a wonderful update!
Thank you for coming back to share
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Old 02-17-2021, 08:54 PM
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What a wonderful update! Thanks for taking the time to come back and share your story, it's nice to see some happy endings!
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Old 02-17-2021, 10:05 PM
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What a wonderful update! ❤️
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Old 02-18-2021, 10:58 AM
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Wow what a wonderful update!!!! I’m so happy for you and your family! For those newer to this forum, you don’t see that many positive updates bc most just move on and don’t provide the input. Let this be a lesson that miracles CAN happen!
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Old 03-01-2021, 10:00 AM
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Seeing rare "the grass is greener" updates gives me hope when I'm at my grieving points (such as I am currently), and I appreciate and thank you so much for sharing your story all these years later. I've only been aware of this site for a few months and I think this is the first story I've seen.

Congratulations to you and all the successes in your family, may life continue to bring you positive and uplifting changes!
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Old 03-16-2021, 05:57 AM
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knowthetriggers, it's wonderful to see that you and RAH have in fact made it out of the hole and are living in the bright sunlight of a wider, happier life. I wish you years of continued growth, learning and health!
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Old 03-22-2021, 11:26 AM
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Louet - thank you! Reading your comment makes me realized I should have mentioned a few things in my original post. It has been and will continue to be a long road of recovery for ALL of us. Sure we are all doing well and living the best life we can but that took a lot of work and most importantly willing participants. My RHA and I wanted a better life for ourselves and our DD's. It is certainly not all unicorns and rainbows over here, we have our moments but we have come a very long way. When I reflect on the past I often wonder "how did we manage to survive" but I remind myself not to dwell on the past but to be thankful for the lessons I have learned.
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Old 03-22-2021, 11:35 AM
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Good to read your positive update.

I hear you on the long road of recovery. So worth it though. Sending best wishes to you.
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Old 03-23-2021, 10:19 AM
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Thank you! My husband has been in recovery the entire time we’ve been together, and is recently dealing with a relapse. It’s brutal, and I don’t know where we’ll be (if there will be a “we”) on the other side of this, but I know relapses can be part of the recovery process just as much as they can be dangerous/deadly.

I am grateful for stories of honest hope. Not sugarcoated “happy endings”, but just real snapshots in time of choices we can make and how we feel. Thank you.
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Old 03-23-2021, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted by edoering View Post
Thank you! My husband has been in recovery the entire time we’ve been together, and is recently dealing with a relapse. It’s brutal, and I don’t know where we’ll be (if there will be a “we”) on the other side of this, but I know relapses can be part of the recovery process just as much as they can be dangerous/deadly.

I am grateful for stories of honest hope. Not sugarcoated “happy endings”, but just real snapshots in time of choices we can make and how we feel. Thank you.
Hi endoering, glad to see you here!

I have read your original post over in the Substance abuse forum, you might want to copy and post it over here too? You know, relapse isn't really any part of the recovery process. You are either in recovery or you aren't. Sure people stumble but even that is not considered part of recovery and your husband has not been sober for some time now.

It might be helpful to be able to read back on people's posts here. To do that you just click on their username, above their picture here in the thread, then choose Public Profile. Once there you can choose the Statistics tab and then choose
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  • Find all posts by:
  • Find all threads started by:
for that particular person.

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Old 03-26-2021, 08:53 PM
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Trailmix, I’ve started to recognize your username around! Thank you, I have been reading up a lot, through old posts and some of the recommended reading material.

I think I will work on putting my original post in this forum as well.

I had a tough day today of having to face my mom’s mortality (she’s battling stage 4 cancer) and how I want to be spending my days right now. Obviously, I want to spending as much as time as possible with her and my father. But also, I asked myself, deep down, what moments and activities would bring me peace and I saw my evenings at home with my husband, our walks and hikes together, going home to him after these long days and just talking and decompressing together. Simple moments with the people I love is what makes all the **** that comes with living worth it. And it really drove home how heavy that loss is weighing on me.
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