Alonefornow

My boyfriend broke up with me Dec 16 2020 He said it was unfair to have me waiting for him . He said he kept obsessing about where I was and who I was with in his absence. He let me go out of love. He let me go so he could concentrate completely on his sobriety. He just asked for a break. I told him we were not in highschool so we were either together or not. Well, I have been working on myself. So far I think I have handled things very well and in a mature way. That was until Christmas day. I did to him what I always hated him doing to me . I told him I believed he really left me for a girl he met in recovery. If he has a girl now it is none of my business . I don't believe he broke up with me for any other reason than to focus on his sobriety. I feel horrible. I falsely accused him. I asked him to forgive me via text but never got a response. I know I have to be an adult about this but I am having a very difficult time. I am preoccupied with loosing my best friend. I am spending time with my family and friends. I am setting and reaching small goals. If staying in our relationship jeopardizes his recovery I gladly give it up. If he really gave me up because he was trying to do what is best for me I wish he would let me decide. I don't think I have handled this properly so I really hope it isn't our last interaction He obviously needs space so I must give it to him.

sevenofnine

"If staying in our relationship jeopardizes his recovery I gladly give it up. If he really gave me up because he was trying to do what is best for me I wish he would let me decide."

That isn't your decision.

It is hard to lose your best friend. Especially if you are like me and staying with your addict drove the other people you were close to away, so there isn't anyone to lean on.

Start by being your own best friend. Tell yourself what you are worried about and what's on your mind and then respond to yourself the way you would if a girlfriend told you the same thing.
Because at least from this post, it sounds like you aren't getting any benefit from this situation, and remaining tied to it is probably preventing you from focusing on building the healthy relationship you need with yourself, and building healthy relationships with others.

555Lynn555

I am so sorry that you are hurt and that you are struggling. It is hard. The bottom line is that he broke up with you and the reason--sobriety, another girl, fell out of love, etc., just doesn't matter. He does not want to be in the relationship. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. You did not lose your best friend---YOU are you're best friend. Practice being kind to yourself. Practice loving yourself. Practice being complete within yourself. And as hard as this is, and I know that it is, try not to take it personally because his decision is 100% about HIM. You can love someone with all of your heart and they can still not be right for you. When want turns to need it becomes codependency.