Failed..but I’m back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 302
Failed..but I’m back.
I had left sober recovery a few months ago because slowly but surely I gave into my old habits. I had been sober for a bit and gave into going for one drink with a friend or coworker. I’ve gotten black out drunk with work mates and just pray that I never made a complete joke of myself.
Alcohol makes me irritable, moody, and sick! I hate the way it smells and now when I think of it I want to gag. I know that I need to change because I hate who I’ve become. I never want to be that black out drunk waking up in the morning yelling at the sun.
I’ve been sober the last six days thus far. I’m feeling better
I’m striving to stay that way.
Alcohol makes me irritable, moody, and sick! I hate the way it smells and now when I think of it I want to gag. I know that I need to change because I hate who I’ve become. I never want to be that black out drunk waking up in the morning yelling at the sun.
I’ve been sober the last six days thus far. I’m feeling better
I’m striving to stay that way.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
6 days is great Takeaction! I’m on day 13 myself. I try to remember the good feeling I have when I wake up without remorse, guilt, and shame from drinking the day before. I also think about those dark days where I felt so hopeless, anxious, and desperate for a change that I never want to go back to.
We had 2 friends stop over last night and one of them got pretty wasted. I thought boy oh boy have I been there and I never want to be that way again. Resisting the urge to drink is tough, but I just think about all the great things that I haven’t experienced in life because of alcohol. I have a feeling there’s a lot more to discover that I wasn’t open to before.
Take it one day at a time.
We had 2 friends stop over last night and one of them got pretty wasted. I thought boy oh boy have I been there and I never want to be that way again. Resisting the urge to drink is tough, but I just think about all the great things that I haven’t experienced in life because of alcohol. I have a feeling there’s a lot more to discover that I wasn’t open to before.
Take it one day at a time.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome back! I suggest developing a strong plan for how you'll stay sober. My plan consisted of seeing an addiction counselor once a week and visiting this site every day to read and post. I no longer see the counselor but still come here every day, to help and to be helped.
I suggest developing a strong plan for how you'll stay sober. My plan consisted of seeing an addiction counselor once a week and visiting this site every day to read and post. I no longer see the counselor but still come here every day, to help and to be helped. 
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I also got all those feelings you get and more. Booze alters the chemical balance and causes the mind to rely on it to feel normal.
It has taken me years to normalize to this state and I still feel healing. Everyone is different. Some heal faster.
Like the gang said, remembering what it does to me afterwards helps to stay clean. SR/AA meetings help too because they remind of what is in store if I relapse.
Things that create dopamine etc also help me. Exercise is my go to therapy. I exercise for about an hour 5 to 7 days a week depending on how I feel.
It is not about quitting drinking as much as adopting a better lifestyle that doesn't include drinking. I became a proud non drinker.
On the outside I just say...none for me thanks, I will have water.
On the inside, I hate the stuff.
I watch folks go from acting cool and craving to intoxicated and it makes me wonder why.
Why would otherwise brilliant folks poison themselves?
Addiction.
Thanks.
It has taken me years to normalize to this state and I still feel healing. Everyone is different. Some heal faster.
Like the gang said, remembering what it does to me afterwards helps to stay clean. SR/AA meetings help too because they remind of what is in store if I relapse.
Things that create dopamine etc also help me. Exercise is my go to therapy. I exercise for about an hour 5 to 7 days a week depending on how I feel.
It is not about quitting drinking as much as adopting a better lifestyle that doesn't include drinking. I became a proud non drinker.
On the outside I just say...none for me thanks, I will have water.
On the inside, I hate the stuff.
I watch folks go from acting cool and craving to intoxicated and it makes me wonder why.
Why would otherwise brilliant folks poison themselves?
Addiction.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Welcome back and well done on 6 days.
I have learnt from hearing from others that a S.L I.P occurs because Sobriety Loses Its Priority.
I have to put my recovery before EVERYTHING. Alcoholism is an illness that tells us we don't have it. Sobriety loses its priority and we think we may be able to drink again like non alcoholics. That is why it is so important to stay connected to other alcoholics and to have a recovery plan because it will try and get in any way it can.
You have had a good reminder and thanks for reminding me to day.
Stay close
♥️🙏
I have learnt from hearing from others that a S.L I.P occurs because Sobriety Loses Its Priority.
I have to put my recovery before EVERYTHING. Alcoholism is an illness that tells us we don't have it. Sobriety loses its priority and we think we may be able to drink again like non alcoholics. That is why it is so important to stay connected to other alcoholics and to have a recovery plan because it will try and get in any way it can.
You have had a good reminder and thanks for reminding me to day.
Stay close
♥️🙏
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
Make sure to store this recent tape and keep it fresh for the next time you need to play the tape forward.
We alcoholics have an allergy to alcohol combined with an obsession to drink it. Alcoholism eventually tries to convince us that we don't have it. Over time the memories or tape of the good times, memories of the ease and comfort. Those things work their way to the front of the mental film room while the allergy and the consequences of it tape seems to creep along to the back.
We alcoholics have an allergy to alcohol combined with an obsession to drink it. Alcoholism eventually tries to convince us that we don't have it. Over time the memories or tape of the good times, memories of the ease and comfort. Those things work their way to the front of the mental film room while the allergy and the consequences of it tape seems to creep along to the back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 302
Thank you for all of the feedback!
I don’t have a written out plan as of yet. I’ve meal prepped for the week excluding Thanksgiving, I am posting on here and reading whenever I feel tempted, and am staying away from tempting events. The thought of alcohol makes me nauseous. It’s ruined my brain, previous work history, and almost current work history. I am going with the fact that I don’t want to drink.
I don’t have a written out plan as of yet. I’ve meal prepped for the week excluding Thanksgiving, I am posting on here and reading whenever I feel tempted, and am staying away from tempting events. The thought of alcohol makes me nauseous. It’s ruined my brain, previous work history, and almost current work history. I am going with the fact that I don’t want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Back in January I was feeling much like you are now. I went with the fact that I don't want to drink and I had reasons to back it up...like the prospect of better emotional stability. And here I am, not a drop of alcohol in all this time and I don't even care for it now. That's amazing considering I was an everyday drinker for many years with many failed quits. Of course, my job now is to never to become complacent because I know my brain will forget the reasons.
Do whatever it takes to stay connected to the way you feel today. Coming here is what did it for me.
Do whatever it takes to stay connected to the way you feel today. Coming here is what did it for me.
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,384
Good going, TakeAction. Takes most of us awhile to get the knack of staying sober. Thankfully it's a skill that can be mastered over time with persistence, sustained effort, and close attention.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 302
I have had a problem with alcohol for about 12 years and I’m only 33! I have quit many times and was never successful. This time has been a little different in the aspect that I really see how negatively alcohol affects my emotional stability. The day after I was usually hungover, tired, moody, and had zero patience. I’m running a business so this is not a desirable feature you expect from a “boss.” Alcohol overall just brings out my worst features. There is so much more to me that I have yet to show the world.
With those reasons alone I must quit. I have been sober 8 days and I currently don’t miss it. I’m an everyday drinker so this is huge for me.
With those reasons alone I must quit. I have been sober 8 days and I currently don’t miss it. I’m an everyday drinker so this is huge for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,513
Congratulations on 8 days takeaction. I also developed a problem with alcohol when I was around 21/22 but as I'm a lot older than you my problem has existed for a lot more than 12 years. I wish I had quit when I was 33 - I was forever trying and failing back then - and I could have saved myself two further decades of misery, poor health and chaos. You've still got the chance to quit at 33 and hopefully you can continue to remain sober.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by Takeaction 
I have had a problem with alcohol for about 12 years and I’m only 33! I have quit many times and was never successful. This time has been a little different in the aspect that I really see how negatively alcohol affects my emotional stability. The day after I was usually hungover, tired, moody, and had zero patience. I’m running a business so this is not a desirable feature you expect from a “boss.” Alcohol overall just brings out my worst features. There is so much more to me that I have yet to show the world.
With those reasons alone I must quit. I have been sober 8 days and I currently don’t miss it. I’m an everyday drinker so this is huge for me.
With those reasons alone I must quit. I have been sober 8 days and I currently don’t miss it. I’m an everyday drinker so this is huge for me.
A quick easy tool that will help YOU to begin to separate your life from the old habit that keeps coming back after you stop for a while is to put all your thoughts and feelings about drinking into the past tense.
For instance, your last sentence above reveals your pattern of temporary abstinences because right after you say you haven’t drank in 8 days, you immediately say “I’m an everyday drinker” instead of “I was an everyday drinker.” When you keep putting your drinking in the present tense, that is your addiction speaking, your addictive voice, or AV.
The more you separate what is now becoming YOUR LIFE as a permanent abstainer from IT your Addictive Voice (which is ONLY a voice) you will be much more able to resist the desire to drink again later on when the bad times have faded and the memories of that deep pleasure from alcohol come up again.
GT
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