Question about Magichappens Post ...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Question about Magichappens Post ...
As usual, a great post that was very enlightening and gave me hope when I feel hopeless. Here's my deal: I have to have both knees operated on 1/6/05. It will take about two weeks before I can walk without crutches. Still, regardless of that, I have been on three job interviews. Got one job offer, but it was in retail - thus, standing on my feet for extended periods which I cannot do until after I get my beat-up knees repaired. I can live with the two bad discs in my spine - I have medicine for that - but the knees are a real problem.
So right now I'm finishing up a semester of school and don't have the $$ (or employment) to move out of this mess I'm in. I'm sick of the verbal abuse and I'm sick of this schmuck yelling at me, "Yeah I know I'm an alcoholic - if YOU don't like it, tough!" Well I certainly can't change him, but I don't have to live with him putting up with his crap either!
But right now it's a matter of TIME. Right now my choices are limited. Right now I'm basically broke and feel very, very trapped with a verbally abusive (and I believe downright NUTS) AH.
Any suggestions as to how I can keep a positive frame of mind and how I can hold onto the hope that I will be free of this toxic person someday soon? How do I change my attitude when I start to feel stressed, trapped, depressed, and hopeless?
I KNOW I have choices, but I'm not going to just walk out the door with the shirt on my back until I can afford to take my pants too!
So right now I'm finishing up a semester of school and don't have the $$ (or employment) to move out of this mess I'm in. I'm sick of the verbal abuse and I'm sick of this schmuck yelling at me, "Yeah I know I'm an alcoholic - if YOU don't like it, tough!" Well I certainly can't change him, but I don't have to live with him putting up with his crap either!
But right now it's a matter of TIME. Right now my choices are limited. Right now I'm basically broke and feel very, very trapped with a verbally abusive (and I believe downright NUTS) AH.
Any suggestions as to how I can keep a positive frame of mind and how I can hold onto the hope that I will be free of this toxic person someday soon? How do I change my attitude when I start to feel stressed, trapped, depressed, and hopeless?
I KNOW I have choices, but I'm not going to just walk out the door with the shirt on my back until I can afford to take my pants too!
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Prodigal, first, big hugs! If your in school can you apply for financial aide? Just about everyone can qualify for assistance, and if you don't already have it it can be used for tuition, housing, personal expenses, etc. Additionally, there is a lot of free money as well as student loans available out there. You just have to look real hard. If you already have financial aide and have not applied for loans, you may want to think about that as well. I hope you have a means of support for this situation, it's gotta be extremly draining! *hugs again*
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hi Prodigal,
Don't know what part of the world you're in, so I'll start with what I know works here and you can adapt it to your part of the world.
Here in the U.S.A there's a Department of Rehabilitation run by the government. Since you have a medical condition that is going to prevent you from working, especially in the field of sales for which you have an interview, you can go apply for both re-eductaion grants and medicare. When my wife applied, as a result of her disability, they were wonderfuly helpful in getting her set up in school, money for books, medicare, etc. etc.
Since your hubby is an alcoholic, and his disease is threatening your health and ability to recover from knee surgery you can also apply for emergency medical housing. Depending on what part of the country you are in, there's all kinds of "assisted living" centers where you will get the medical care you need while you recover from your surgery.
Start by calling your Doctors office, ask the nurse to refer you to the local rehabilitation department. Call them and tell them that you want to be able to work, but with your knees you can no longer work in the same career and you want re-training. If you can do sales then there's all kinds of careers where your skills will be of use while sitting down. Plain old customer service at the phone company is the first that comes to mind.
Oh, when you finish your re-training, the rehab people will also twist arms to get you your first job in your new career.
Mike :-)
Don't know what part of the world you're in, so I'll start with what I know works here and you can adapt it to your part of the world.
Here in the U.S.A there's a Department of Rehabilitation run by the government. Since you have a medical condition that is going to prevent you from working, especially in the field of sales for which you have an interview, you can go apply for both re-eductaion grants and medicare. When my wife applied, as a result of her disability, they were wonderfuly helpful in getting her set up in school, money for books, medicare, etc. etc.
Since your hubby is an alcoholic, and his disease is threatening your health and ability to recover from knee surgery you can also apply for emergency medical housing. Depending on what part of the country you are in, there's all kinds of "assisted living" centers where you will get the medical care you need while you recover from your surgery.
Start by calling your Doctors office, ask the nurse to refer you to the local rehabilitation department. Call them and tell them that you want to be able to work, but with your knees you can no longer work in the same career and you want re-training. If you can do sales then there's all kinds of careers where your skills will be of use while sitting down. Plain old customer service at the phone company is the first that comes to mind.
Oh, when you finish your re-training, the rehab people will also twist arms to get you your first job in your new career.
Mike :-)
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
The fact that you are looking for options is fantastic. Do you have family or friends that can help during this time? Getting support and positive input when I have to face negativity helps. Do you attend Al-Anon? Are you a member of a church? Do you have friendly neighbors? People at school? A counsellor at school?
Asking for help is hard. But letting people know that you will take the help that they feel comfortable giving isn't imposing. Most people want to feel needed. And when we are able, we want to give back. That is the way people interact in a healthy situation.
Dealing with a drunk isn't easy. But getting through it without going crazy is possible when we reach out for help. Hugs, Magic
Asking for help is hard. But letting people know that you will take the help that they feel comfortable giving isn't imposing. Most people want to feel needed. And when we are able, we want to give back. That is the way people interact in a healthy situation.
Dealing with a drunk isn't easy. But getting through it without going crazy is possible when we reach out for help. Hugs, Magic
Dee at Mt Bully
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Placerville, Ca
Posts: 251
All the advise about grants and loans and government services are great advice. I
just have one other small suggestion is there a second bedroom den large laundry room
corner LOL or any space that you can put a few of your favorite things in. It
was ahuge help to me in the first step toward recovery to just establish my own quiet
space. Book pillow teddybear--seems silly--helped me a lot. Smiles--Dee
just have one other small suggestion is there a second bedroom den large laundry room
corner LOL or any space that you can put a few of your favorite things in. It
was ahuge help to me in the first step toward recovery to just establish my own quiet
space. Book pillow teddybear--seems silly--helped me a lot. Smiles--Dee
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