Boggle10

Are you fed up yet of me posting, that I've messed up yet again, I know I've said a thousand times, this is me, I'm gonna crack this, honest to god these two daughters of mine have 3 children between them, and every day they land at my house, they cannot be normal, I was in the bath, and the squealing and noise was unreal, I thought there was 4 children, no just 2, I had to put a towel on to see who it was, I'm at a stage I think I'd be better off friggin dead, I've ask them a thousand times, I've told them I need space I need them to let me be, I honestly can't do this.

DreamCatcher17

I wasn't able or willing to do much while I was in active addiction.
It wasn't until I started to recover that I found a new peace.
Don't get me wrong, my 5year old can drive me insane. The only difference now, I am not hungover. When I was hungover the situation was always a million times worse.

I do think having clear set boundaries is a wonderful tool.

Do you lock your door? Do they live with you? Do they have a key to your home? -Are you able to change any of these things so you can have more peace?
Best of luck,
DC

Awake61

I can not do the grandchildren part at this time of my recovery. Understand your post so much. My daughter and her children do not come around any more and that is how it has to be at this time. Can you set boundaries?

Boggle10

No dream they do not live with me, they seem to think I have to look after them because I'm there granny, they listen to frig all they must think I'm immortal, I am not, I want to walk away from them all,

Boggle10

Awake, my oldest girl is a selfish madam, my youngest tries, but I am clean done, I can't tell them much more, I'm ignored and fed up

Sober45

When I was drinking, spending time with my daughter was difficult. It was always like a chore.

Now, going on10 months sober, I'm actually enjoying time with her. I'm not always on edge anymore. Sober time=clarity.

The pull that alcohol had on me is gone. I can go about my day now with confidence and peace of mind. It takes time to get here. I had to cut the cord and never look back.

"just as well be dead"....I said that alot before I got sober this time.

Don't stop trying, you're going to get it right!

Boggle10

Maybe they will all get it when I'm gone, I'm not feeling sorry for myself but to be fair I can't be bothered with all there selfish needs, I want I need all the pictures of what they want for Christmas, not my youngest girl, she is normal, my husband drinks every night and smokes grass, but that's OK he hasn't got a problem, and I'm the bad one cos my head is near fried and my answer is booze, but I'm feed up with myself

Boggle10

I ment my oldest daughter sends me this picture that picture ii want this.

DreamCatcher17

I kicked my mom out of our lives since she is a practicing alcoholic. I don't allow that nonsense near me or my children.
I also could not be around someone who drank and smoked daily in front of me, that was not going to help me succeed.
I hope you are able to work a program and start to recover so you are able to see the beauty in life. There is so much to live for.

Boggle10

Dream, I know life is good with no booze, I am the mother, and grandmother, I was a mother when I was 18 and 20,my husband was a British soldier who served in Northern Ireland, I cared for my girls myself while he served I never had a drink til I was 28, wasn't much of a problem til I was 40, I'm 49 now, and as I said I'm fed up clean done and done

DreamCatcher17

That is great you are done.
We all have responsibilities to take care of as humans and the best part you did most of your sober and know what that looks like. Keep pushing to get there again!
What is your plan?

Anna

Boggle, you've said you're done (at least for now), so you're done. Tell your two daughters you won't babysit anymore and that you need a break. Lock your doors, turn off your phone and take care of yourself. You may be ready to babysit again, in the future, but for now, it's too much for you to cope with. It's up to you to set the boundary and stick with it.

Hevyn

I agree, Boggle. It's imperative you put yourself before them for a change. Surely they can understand you've reached your limit.

(No, we aren't fed up - glad you're still talking honestly about what's going on.)

Dee74

When you're trying to get sober in a life where everything used to 'make' you drink, a plan is essential I think Boggle?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

D

Boggle10

I messaged my daughters last night, and tryed to explain, they said they would help in anyway they could, I told them I wanted no more drinking in my house, if they want to drink they have homes of there own, and I also told them that I couldn't cope with the wains anymore for a while, it's not that I don't want to see them, but my head is near turned, I've been up since 3am,its now 4.25am,and now I feel guilt and remorse for drinking again and me and husband had a blazing row, hate that, but this madness of drinking on both our parts have to stop, thank you for all your reply's

MythOfSisyphus

I think that's a good idea, Boggle10! You have a right to your own life, home and space. Even if they didn't intend to hurt you, your family is taking advantage of you. You will need to be clear and firm and set boundaries with them. Give yourself time and space for recovery.

LumenandNyx

Hi,

I don't know how you expect to be able to come to a reasonable solution here as long as you continue to drink. Everything you say and do is clouded over by either alcohol or the effects of alcohol.

You wrote "and now I feel guilt and remorse for drinking again and me and husband had a blazing row, hate that, but this madness of drinking on both our parts have to stop,"

Things don't get fixed and better when we drink. They get worse. My guess is that if you were encountering all this sober -your temperament and feelings about it would be different.

Hevyn

Boggle - I'm glad you messaged your daughters & they were understanding. Things can and will get better - when you can think soberly & clearly. You can reclaim your life and have a great future.

Boggle10

Well I'm on day six again, still doing good as far as the not drinking is concerned, but I just don't feel right in myself, really bad acid reflux and bad case of ibs, I hope these settle down very soon, I think it just takes your body longer each time we have a relapse to start to feel better, as for my daughters and grandchildren, they still appear everyday, although when they landed on Friday and Saturday evening I told them all to go to the garage and sit with there daddy, the garage is well heated, more like a man cave, through the week from Monday to Wed we get peace, I sound like a broken record, hope your all doing well x

MythOfSisyphus

Hang in there, Boggle10! It gets better.