Berrybean

I just posted this as part of a more convoluted post on an old thread of mine, but thought maybe it should be a separate thing really, as maybe some of you relate to this...
I'm also just feeling sad and envious of people who I really love, and honestly don't begrudge them what they have...Caring relationships. Children. My friend with one lovely dog who just got a new puppy (I had to take mine to the shelter when I left my ex with just what I could throw in the car quickly with nowhere to go). A home of my own - preferably one that's bloody warm. And I know that I shouldn't be feeling this way. That I have do much to be grateful for. I just seem to be hurting today.
BB

Nd819

Berry, I think what yo are feeling is completely normal. I haven't seen your story so I am not sure of your past history but I think these feelings are all part of the grief process. I find myself feeling envious of those that have had the courage to leave their situation and start new healthy lives, envious of people with healthy, happy marriages. I think it's hard when you've been knocked down not to look around wish your situation was better.

Berrybean

Thanks. It does feel like grief. And hopelessness. But it could be worse. I could still be living with my ex, tiptoeing round him, not seeing my friends, unable to have a private conversation with my mum unless I was out of the house, scared to leave and scared to stay, half-believing his lies, and full of dread of the next episode.

I can recommend Dr Ramani's book and YouTube videos. Without her wisdom and insight I doubt I'd have got the clarity I needed to get out and stay out.

BB

LumenandNyx

Hi,

Hurting days happen. It'll pass. Everything does.
Sometimes, I find it helpful to write/journal. Write all the shoulds and shouldn'ts, coulda ,woulda, didn't, couldn't, wish, and yada yada. Everything you write doesn't have to be correct by socitie's standards or agreeable to other people - no one's going to read your stuff but you. But if you will be honest with yourself and write all that tumultuous stuff down and get it out of your system - then you could set it on fire and release it. Literally.

suncatcher

Berrybean-- I love Dr Ramani also! Her youtube videos are wonderful!
I think what you are feeling is understandable. Give yourself some time. You are healing and in the "in between" stage it sounds like. There is a post about the in between in the classic reading section that may be helpful. It is from The Language of Letting Go book by Melodie Beattie.
Wishing you many blessings to come!

Dee74

Hey Berrybean

I've found that the bad times never last as long when we live in recovery - there;s always better day ahead.
Keep the faith

D

Bekindalways

Yeah Berry, those days and feelings comes . . . I hope it isn't a week or months thing. Sometimes it can be a longer tough time. It is no fun whatsoever . . . let the feels come in all their gory, petty, toxic glory. Feel them completely and keep going.

Seren

Hey BB! I think we've all had days or times when we feel like that. I'm so sorry you are going through that right now, and I'm sending lots of cyber hugs and healing thoughts your way!