degroovee1

undefinedHi, i have many things that i need to discuss with someone. I was planning on going to a meeing this morning but instead i hopped online in search for some answers. I have some questions regarding coming back in contact with family members during the holidays that i used to party with. Tonight I am going to see my cousin who has had problems with drugs for many years, we've partied together alot. She knows Im sober and going to meetings, and now she wants to come to meetings with me. I don't feel ready to hold her hand through meetings. She is very manipulative and i kinda feel like going with me will be just a tool for her to look good for her parents, not truly doing it for herself. I want to help, but ive heard at meetings that u cant help someone else until you clean your side of the street up first. I just started to clean my side. She has called me 3 times this week and i haven't called back. If you can help on this I would really appreciate it.
Thanx.

findingout

degroovee1,

If your cousin wants to go to a meeting you should take her to a meeting. And then you can turn the responsibility for holding her hand over to someone who has spent more time sweeping their side of the street. Perhaps she is really serious about getting clean and this might be your chance to start giving back what has been so freely given to you. Just don't try to give what you do not have and don't let her talk you out of your recovery. You'll know pretty quickly if she is serious or just trying to fake it for her parents.

Just my opinion and I certainly don't have all the answers cause I don't even know all the questions.

One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless

Ama

Degroove,

Well done on keeping your sobriety. Do bring her to a meet. Let her see some recovery. Addiction fills our heads with deceit. You could be the trigger she needs to get well. You are probably her inspiration at the moment too!!!! Introduce her to others and then let go. Your recovery is of paramount importance as without it you are no good to anyone least of all yourself. But we must embrace compassion and give her this one chance and you will feel better for it. As it is in giving that we receive. Or get someone else to bring her but dont close the door to her possible sobriety as that will cause you to feel guilty which you dont need!

We are all good caring human beings - it is our disease/addiction that makes us nasty deceitful manipulative people. Sober and substance free it is soooo different and our souls light can shine through. Keep getting well Luvs Ama

Aa_vark

Degroove,

take her to a meeting if she wants to go -

give your higher power a chance to work a miracle....

others will be there to understand and care for you cousin -

you're both in my prayers -

I was in the same situation, and sat with my cousin - she doesnt seem ready to go to anylengts now, but i know that a seed has been planted.

Chy

Hi Degroove and welcome!
You sound sceptical about your cousins intents. But ya know what, not for us to judge, take her to a meeting, that's all you need to do, period. The rest is up to her. Part of keeping what we have is giving back, so begin your 12th step prematurally. It's okay to be suspicious, a bit anxious about the holidays, but remember your program, remember your tools, and keep your fellowship numbers close. If they know what your trying to do, and for the most part are supportive, it won't be as bad as you think. Keep coming back k?