Rd236314

Newcomer - First Day (kind of)
Hello everyone! Wanted to share my story....I am ashamed to admit it but I’ve been a horrible binge drinker/alcoholic for about 4-5 years. I’m 23 years old, average height, probably could use to drop a few lbs. Feel as if I’m doomed cuz I get blacked out almost every night for a majority of those years. I’ve gotten to the point where I will sometimes put down an entire bottle and order food and be blacked out by the time I end up eating such food. I don’t like it. I don’t know why I can’t stop. I’ve had three legal incidents all due to being blacked out, one DUI. It’s hurting my wallet severely, and the reason I’m posting here now, while the Joaquin Phoenix/Jonah Hill/Jack Black “Don’t worry, he won’t get far on foot” played a big part too(that’s a must what in my opinion), because I got really sick this morning. More sick than I ever have before. I drank 4-5 bottles over the course of Friday, Saturday, Sunday....I don’t remember. I was hungover the entire day severely, puked 15-3 times violently, foggy brain, terrible chest burn and a sensation around my entire torso. Had no appetite to eat anything. AND I STILL CONSIDERED POLISHING OFF THE LAST OF THE VODKA IN THE MIDST.....I didn’t, and after that scene and that movie I’m ready to do this, poured out the vodka down the drain. Yesterday me would have made me walk the plank for that. Any advice and support from you guys would be appreciated. I’ve been saying i wanna quit for almost all the years I’ve been drinking. Can I heal guys, I’m kinda scared. Don’t really let too many people know about this issue, just super close people obviously find out. Think I want to try AA. If I go cold turkey, like I did today since I woke up, do I need to be supervised?

vkf

Yes you can heal. Feel for you because I can read your anxiousness in your post. Still newer in recovery myself but can say you can stay clean if you put in the work.

These first few days are tough so keep posting and reading stuff on the site. Tons of info to occupy your time while your body processes and cleans out the poison dumped into it.

I went the AA route and have 0 regrets. It has been a hard but amazing journey. I was advised by several people to grab a notebook and pen. Started writing whatever came to mind down. It helped me. Everyone is different but that and lots of walking helped with being anxious.

Erica375

Hi, Newcomer Rd! Congratulations for making this huge step. I am not particularly fond of the AA program, but I encourage you to try it out. It's a great place to start. I eventually found other programs that were a better fit for me, but AA is great if you want face-to-face support.
It's also a good idea to check with your doc to see if you might need supervision detoxing. I know this is all new and scary. But there are so many of us, and so many resources now, you are not alone.
Please check in and let us know how you're doing.

Nonsensical

Welcome Rd!
There is turbulent water between where you've been and where you want to be. Row for the opposite shore with all your might. Use anything you can find as an oar. Fill your ears with wax so you can't hear the siren song calling you back. Freedom lies ahead. Doom behind. It will be difficult. The most difficult thing you've ever done. Never turn back.

You can do this.

Ekohe

Hey RD happy you're here. I'm 29 and knew at your age my drinking was an issue and I drank very similarly, but used my age as an excuse to continue. You can do this, I have had a year sober and it is night and day from the binge cycles I have been in in the past. Give yourself this as a gift, it will try to pull you in over and over again but learn to just sit through those urges.

You got this

Anna

I'm glad you posted and that you're ready to stop drinking. It sounds like alcohol is causing many problems in your life.

You can stop drinking and live a happy, sober life. I's always a good idea to talk to your doctor if you are concerned about withdrawals. The first several days will not be easy, but it will be so worth it. Keep in mind that stopping drinking is the beginning of this journey. I needed to make several lifestyle changes to support my recovery as far as activities, people, etc.

You can do this.

LumenandNyx

Yes. Everyone can heal.
There's nothing to be scared of.
Going cold turkey can be dangerous. You might consider - at the very least - asking someone to hang out with you for a few days if treatment isn't an option. Treatment centers can be a fantastic option because not only do they remove you from alcohol - they have medical staff available - just in case.

It looks like you've been drinking quit a bit for some time. If you don't have to go cold turkey - don't.

Hevyn

Great to have you with us, Rd. Be proud of yourself for recognizing what needs to happen. In my 20's I was already headed for disaster, but refused to admit it. Later in life I had a huge mess to clean up - & getting sober as an older person was very difficult. Stay with us & keep reading and posting - we all understand what you're going through.

Rd236314

Wow guys. Thanks for the responses and inspiration. Really was wildly nice to wake up and feel like I ain’t all that alone in all of this. Starting day 2....rather than hitting the bottle the first chance I get, gonna start doing my old gallon of water(or at least as much as I can) throughout the day, get back to working on my music, may even pick up a new hobby such as drawing or something just to occupy time. My biggest mental hump is sleeping still. Last night I had to watch Office re runs until like 430 AM. until I couldn’t stay awake anymore. Thanks guys

MaximusD

Sleep will suck for a bit. Glad you are going to get a handle on it at your young age. Sounds like you are escalating quickly so you really need to make this a priority.

anxiousrock

Welcome! Why not try AA... nothing to lose and you can see what you think of it. It's not for everyone but it helps so, so many people!
good luck, you can certainly do this... you're in the right place!

GroundhogDay

Welcome Rd! Check in with us when you need some support. It will be rough at first, but congrats on realizing that you need to stop drinking.

TheWayBack

"I drank 4-5 bottles over the course of Friday, Saturday, Sunday."

Best advice I can give you, stop that now, you're young. You're already drinking like that and it won't ever get better. You don't have to drink like that for 20-30 years, the way you hear about alcoholics dying all of the time, from liver failure, for it to kill you.

I was drinking hard liquor like that for a couple of years, 2-3 bottles of it a week, or more. I was in my 40s before I even started drinking. Doesn't matter what age you are, it can ruin your life and it can kill you drinking hard liquor like that. I know because I almost did it. I wound up in the hospital one day with heart failure from alcohol, and I would have died if my wife had not driven me the emergency room when she did.

I hope you stick around here or get help somewhere. Not worth it at all, the booze. Take care and keep us posted.

Rd236314

Hello, everyone! Thanks for the support again, I like checking in here in the morning and when I feel a little weak. Today is day 4 and I am feeling really good. Drinking is not even really appealing or itching at me right now. Im loving the whole remembering the movies I watch at night and waking up without feeling like an absolute mess thing. Hope this mentality lasts! Best to you all.