200 days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
200 days
Morning everyone
200 days since I work up with the most terrible hangover. I couldn't get myself out of bed. At midday I got up, went to the pub and bought a pint. Stared at it for a while, drank a mouthful and was sick...carried on drinking at the pub then went home, carried on drinking in front of my wife and kids until I passed out drunk at 8pm.
At that point I was overweight and bloated...I was hot all the time, red faced and sweat non stop. I stayed in bed many mornings and all
my time was spent drunk, drinking, hungover or planning to drink. I ruined my marriage and was an absent father (I was there in body but not emotionally or mentally.
I can not compare where I am now emotionally, spiritually and personally. I am still working through the mess I made of my life, and probably will be for a very long time. But I am a completely new person, not perfect or even trying to be, just me and enjoying being so.
The bizarre thing is I still get thoughts of drinking and idealising drinking, when I know in my head exactly where that will lead. Im
happy now, I don't want to jeopardise that.
Have a great day everyone
200 days since I work up with the most terrible hangover. I couldn't get myself out of bed. At midday I got up, went to the pub and bought a pint. Stared at it for a while, drank a mouthful and was sick...carried on drinking at the pub then went home, carried on drinking in front of my wife and kids until I passed out drunk at 8pm.
At that point I was overweight and bloated...I was hot all the time, red faced and sweat non stop. I stayed in bed many mornings and all
my time was spent drunk, drinking, hungover or planning to drink. I ruined my marriage and was an absent father (I was there in body but not emotionally or mentally.
I can not compare where I am now emotionally, spiritually and personally. I am still working through the mess I made of my life, and probably will be for a very long time. But I am a completely new person, not perfect or even trying to be, just me and enjoying being so.
The bizarre thing is I still get thoughts of drinking and idealising drinking, when I know in my head exactly where that will lead. Im
happy now, I don't want to jeopardise that.
Have a great day everyone
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Congratulations on 200 days Be! You’re doing really great. Thoughts of drinking come to lots of us but we don’t have to act on them. You’re making such a good sober life for yourself, way better than a drunk life with all of it’s horrors. Well done 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Congratulations on 200 days, Be, that's an awesome achievement! The thoughts of drinking I call euphoric recall, it's false, my AV only remembers the social drinking times, eons ago. My AV doesn't remember the bad drinking times, the destructive drinking to self and others. But I am not my AV, thankfully, and I can ignore those stupid thoughts recalling drinking as something it can never be again, once that line was crossed, into abusive drinking to myself, there's no return. I never want to go back there, I prefer freedom from alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah - that euphoric recall is a powerful demon.
That's why I really can't stop coming here or going to AA meetings or something to continue to hear from Newcomers about their more recent experiences. It's never good, and I need to remember that. Stupid brain would convince me it's all a big happy party. No. What about the pain and despair and hopelessness?
Congrats on 200. Don't ever let down your guard.
I drank after many years. It didn't end well and here I am.
That's why I really can't stop coming here or going to AA meetings or something to continue to hear from Newcomers about their more recent experiences. It's never good, and I need to remember that. Stupid brain would convince me it's all a big happy party. No. What about the pain and despair and hopelessness?
Congrats on 200. Don't ever let down your guard.
I drank after many years. It didn't end well and here I am.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
200 days is a massive achievement! I'm just ahead of you at 256 days. Drinking really affected my parenting also. It's not easy letting go of the past. But we are finally moving in the right direction
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 271
When I'm out to dinner or at a party where people are drinking I always remind myself that I never, ever wanted just "a couple" of drinks. After one, I wanted another. Then another. And then another after that.
And the important thing to remember is that in the instances where I did discipline myself, and ingest only one or two or three drinks, I WAS MISERABLE the rest of the day. No matter what activities I engaged in, playing golf, watching a movie, visiting a museum, I felt deprived and vaguely miserable because all I really wanted to do was drink more.
Now I can just enjoy my afternoon or evening. Or even if I'm not, it's because I'm bored or tired or something normal like that. Not the miserable, empty feeling of being profoundly deprived because I had to abstain from getting *********. And the fact is, most of the time I didn't abstain and ended up driving drunk or being weird around my kids, or something worse.
Ugh. Just so glad to be rid of it. I never, ever want to go back to that misery.
And the important thing to remember is that in the instances where I did discipline myself, and ingest only one or two or three drinks, I WAS MISERABLE the rest of the day. No matter what activities I engaged in, playing golf, watching a movie, visiting a museum, I felt deprived and vaguely miserable because all I really wanted to do was drink more.
Now I can just enjoy my afternoon or evening. Or even if I'm not, it's because I'm bored or tired or something normal like that. Not the miserable, empty feeling of being profoundly deprived because I had to abstain from getting *********. And the fact is, most of the time I didn't abstain and ended up driving drunk or being weird around my kids, or something worse.
Ugh. Just so glad to be rid of it. I never, ever want to go back to that misery.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by Be123 
Morning everyone
200 days since I work up with the most terrible hangover. I couldn't get myself out of bed. At midday I got up, went to the pub and bought a pint. Stared at it for a while, drank a mouthful and was sick...carried on drinking at the pub then went home, carried on drinking in front of my wife and kids until I passed out drunk at 8pm.
At that point I was overweight and bloated...I was hot all the time, red faced and sweat non stop. I stayed in bed many mornings and all
my time was spent drunk, drinking, hungover or planning to drink. I ruined my marriage and was an absent father (I was there in body but not emotionally or mentally.
I can not compare where I am now emotionally, spiritually and personally. I am still working through the mess I made of my life, and probably will be for a very long time. But I am a completely new person, not perfect or even trying to be, just me and enjoying being so.
The bizarre thing is I still get thoughts of drinking and idealising drinking, when I know in my head exactly where that will lead. Im
happy now, I don't want to jeopardise that.
Have a great day everyone
200 days since I work up with the most terrible hangover. I couldn't get myself out of bed. At midday I got up, went to the pub and bought a pint. Stared at it for a while, drank a mouthful and was sick...carried on drinking at the pub then went home, carried on drinking in front of my wife and kids until I passed out drunk at 8pm.
At that point I was overweight and bloated...I was hot all the time, red faced and sweat non stop. I stayed in bed many mornings and all
my time was spent drunk, drinking, hungover or planning to drink. I ruined my marriage and was an absent father (I was there in body but not emotionally or mentally.
I can not compare where I am now emotionally, spiritually and personally. I am still working through the mess I made of my life, and probably will be for a very long time. But I am a completely new person, not perfect or even trying to be, just me and enjoying being so.
The bizarre thing is I still get thoughts of drinking and idealising drinking, when I know in my head exactly where that will lead. Im
happy now, I don't want to jeopardise that.
Have a great day everyone
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