Strength28

So, my AF will be discharged from rehab on Friday, and he is going to a Sober House. He and his inpatient therapist both agree this is the best choice for him, and I am thrilled with this decision too. I have been very busy with work and friends, and focusing on my own happiness in the meantime. However, I can't help but have all sorts of uneasy feelings and doubts as Friday approaches. I think I took for granted how peaceful I felt knowing he was back at rehab and "safe." Safe from himself I guess.

All I can do now is pray that he truly wants to change and find sobriety this time. And of course, focus on myself. I guess tonight I am letting my emotions get the best of me because I love him deeply and miss him. I know this is what he needs right now, but it doesn't take away the sadness of being apart so that he can get help and I can have peace. We both deserve it.

I guess I am just venting - and looking for support. I'm crying a little just typing this. It's the first time I've shed any tears over all of this in several weeks.

Thanks for reading

LumenandNyx

Hang in there. Your boyfriend could have left rehab at any time and gone back to his old habits. Rehab isn't jail. Even if he was sent to rehab by a judge - he could have easily decided to return to his old ways as soon as he's discharged. Either way - it's his choice to do the right thing here and if anything - I hope this eases your pain some.

Some of us have to face the brutal consequences of our drinking over and over and over before we ever "get it". I'll keep my fingers crossed that your BF isn't so hardheaded. But if he is - he's not alone. Keep taking care of you and don't forget to at least try to enjoy life. It's a precious thing.

Bekindalways

You really sound like you have a handle on what he is up against and the best model of operation for you.

This is not an easy road for any of us. Keep venting all you want. Please keep taking care of yourself.

Seren

Hi Strength, just sending a hug. None of this is easy, but the effort is worth it. Stop by here anytime to talk about how you're doing. We get it!

Bobbieka

I completely understand. When my son is in jail or rehab, I actually can sleep at night and I am not consumed with the worry that I am going to get the phone call that he has died. Whenever he gets released, I am terrified. Alanon has helped me tremendously. Hugs to you. I hope you can find some peace.

trailmix

There is a saying here strength - "more will be revealed".

It's hard to wait to see what the result of his sober living will be, absolutely. But, absolutely there is no way to hurry this along. I know it affects your life very directly, so it's hard to just let go. The truth is you don't have any control over what he may do and you will work through and adjust - no matter what. If he stays sober, well it will still probably be a tough road at first, if he decides to drink again, tough road and tough choices for you.

Since there is no crystal ball you will have to wait and see and carry on with your life. When you think about it, him being away in Rehab and "safe" making your mind feel more at ease (while understandable) is in direct opposition to the fact that he is a grown man and will make his own choices. We all want those we love to flourish and live well, but again, his choice as to what he will do. Caring rather than caring "for" him.

Either way, you are going to be ok.