I didn't enjoy it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,743
I didn't enjoy it
I just drank two cans of gin and tonic. It wasn't very enjoyable. I don't really enjoy drinking when I'm not with company. So why do I do it?
They weren't nice tasting at all. And two cans is a bit of a tease. I'd rather get drunk but I can't with the Antabuse.
And now I have to cover my tracks. Dispose the cans in a public waste basket. Wait for the alcohol to leave my system then have a shower and brush my teeth. Why do I so this to myself?
Well today is day 0. I'm not going to commit to a lifetime of sobriety, too daunting. I'm going to commit to being sober until December 1st. Wish me luck!
They weren't nice tasting at all. And two cans is a bit of a tease. I'd rather get drunk but I can't with the Antabuse.
And now I have to cover my tracks. Dispose the cans in a public waste basket. Wait for the alcohol to leave my system then have a shower and brush my teeth. Why do I so this to myself?
Well today is day 0. I'm not going to commit to a lifetime of sobriety, too daunting. I'm going to commit to being sober until December 1st. Wish me luck!
I agree with C0ntr0ls - no don’t need to worry so far down the road.
maybe this can help you: I think about 3 days:
Day 1 is yesterday - what did I do yesterday to stay sober?
Day 2 is today - what am I doing today to stay sober?
Day 3 is tomorrow - what am I going to do tomorrow to stay sober?
Stay in the moment because you have total control over it and your well being.
maybe this can help you: I think about 3 days:
Day 1 is yesterday - what did I do yesterday to stay sober?
Day 2 is today - what am I doing today to stay sober?
Day 3 is tomorrow - what am I going to do tomorrow to stay sober?
Stay in the moment because you have total control over it and your well being.
I'm sorry you drank.
I hope you will at some point figure it out.
It's much MUCH better on the sober side in every way - but I can't convince anyone of that, it has to be experienced...and not just a few weeks, but long-term continuous sobriety.
I hope you will at some point figure it out.
It's much MUCH better on the sober side in every way - but I can't convince anyone of that, it has to be experienced...and not just a few weeks, but long-term continuous sobriety.
Does the antabuse not make you feel ill when you drink? I've never taken antabuse but I did once take an antibiotic(Metronidazole) when I had a severe gum infection and it came with a warning not to drink alcohol as it behaves the same way as antabuse (it basically stops the liver breaking down alcohol). I couldn't even tolerate using body wash when I was taking the antibiotic because it made me feel dizzy and flushed.
I think picking Dec 1 is a marvellous idea. I couldn’t do forever either so my goals looked like this:
goal1: 54 days(since my longest quit before now was 53 days)
goal 2: 1 year ( although I’m doing mini goals in between. Tomorrow i reach 8 months and I’ve been really focused on that since I reached 7 months).
if all else fails I tell myself I can drink again at age 75 and that settles me down. That said, at almost 8 months sober I’m finally able to think in the forever direction somewhat so that’s major progress for me.
it took many years of drinking to get me where I am so I’m giving it a minimum of 4 years before I assess my progress too much. I do that because it seems like a lot of people have unrealistic expectations as to what early sobriety should look like.
the result of me thinking this way is I have HOPE.
goal1: 54 days(since my longest quit before now was 53 days)
goal 2: 1 year ( although I’m doing mini goals in between. Tomorrow i reach 8 months and I’ve been really focused on that since I reached 7 months).
if all else fails I tell myself I can drink again at age 75 and that settles me down. That said, at almost 8 months sober I’m finally able to think in the forever direction somewhat so that’s major progress for me.
it took many years of drinking to get me where I am so I’m giving it a minimum of 4 years before I assess my progress too much. I do that because it seems like a lot of people have unrealistic expectations as to what early sobriety should look like.
the result of me thinking this way is I have HOPE.
Myself, I needed to commit to NEVER drinking. EVER. And once I did, it was as if a great weight was lifted from me. I didn't have to worry about when I might drink again, or if I would drink again. I don't drink. Ever. That was my commitment.
Setting an end-date of Dec 1 makes drinking on Dec 2nd an option. And if you can talk yourself into drinking on Dec 2nd, why not November 30th? Or any time before your commitment date arrives?
Taking drinking off the table, for good.
I’m another for the never ever again option.
Dec 2 might well see your AV doing cartwheels.
It’s not the length of time you’re committing to that’s making you drink again FF I think it’s you’re not doing enough to not drink.
The period where you were going to AA and posting here daily or more than daily is your most successful sober period yet. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
You were proactive and energised about staying sober. You put in a lot of effort and it showed.
Get back to that kind of effort. If something is stopping you from doing that, put some effort into removing whatever that obstacle is.
You can stay sober, for good
D
Dec 2 might well see your AV doing cartwheels.
It’s not the length of time you’re committing to that’s making you drink again FF I think it’s you’re not doing enough to not drink.
The period where you were going to AA and posting here daily or more than daily is your most successful sober period yet. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
You were proactive and energised about staying sober. You put in a lot of effort and it showed.
Get back to that kind of effort. If something is stopping you from doing that, put some effort into removing whatever that obstacle is.
You can stay sober, for good
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 739
I think picking Dec 1 is a marvellous idea. I couldn’t do forever either so my goals looked like this:
goal1: 54 days(since my longest quit before now was 53 days)
goal 2: 1 year ( although I’m doing mini goals in between. Tomorrow i reach 8 months and I’ve been really focused on that since I reached 7 months).
if all else fails I tell myself I can drink again at age 75 and that settles me down. That said, at almost 8 months sober I’m finally able to think in the forever direction somewhat so that’s major progress for me.
it took many years of drinking to get me where I am so I’m giving it a minimum of 4 years before I assess my progress too much. I do that because it seems like a lot of people have unrealistic expectations as to what early sobriety should look like.
the result of me thinking this way is I have HOPE.
goal1: 54 days(since my longest quit before now was 53 days)
goal 2: 1 year ( although I’m doing mini goals in between. Tomorrow i reach 8 months and I’ve been really focused on that since I reached 7 months).
if all else fails I tell myself I can drink again at age 75 and that settles me down. That said, at almost 8 months sober I’m finally able to think in the forever direction somewhat so that’s major progress for me.
it took many years of drinking to get me where I am so I’m giving it a minimum of 4 years before I assess my progress too much. I do that because it seems like a lot of people have unrealistic expectations as to what early sobriety should look like.
the result of me thinking this way is I have HOPE.
I'd spent the last 2 to 3 years having this conversation with myself and the end result was always 'one last hurrah' and drinking heavier and heavier.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,743
I’m another for the never ever again option.
Dec 2 might well see your AV doing cartwheels.
It’s not the length of time you’re committing to that’s making you drink again FF I think it’s you’re not doing enough to not drink.
The period where you were going to AA and posting here daily or more than daily is your most successful sober period yet. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
You were proactive and energised about staying sober. You put in a lot of effort and it showed.
Get back to that kind of effort. If something is stopping you from doing that, put some effort into removing whatever that obstacle is.
You can stay sober, for good
D
Dec 2 might well see your AV doing cartwheels.
It’s not the length of time you’re committing to that’s making you drink again FF I think it’s you’re not doing enough to not drink.
The period where you were going to AA and posting here daily or more than daily is your most successful sober period yet. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
You were proactive and energised about staying sober. You put in a lot of effort and it showed.
Get back to that kind of effort. If something is stopping you from doing that, put some effort into removing whatever that obstacle is.
You can stay sober, for good
D
Your brain seems to work like mine. Do you think you would have managed to stay sober if you'd went down the 'I can't drink ever again' route ?
I'd spent the last 2 to 3 years having this conversation with myself and the end result was always 'one last hurrah' and drinking heavier and heavier.
I'd spent the last 2 to 3 years having this conversation with myself and the end result was always 'one last hurrah' and drinking heavier and heavier.
what I needed was to put some space between me and alcohol so I could start thinking rationally again. I was drinking every day for years so I was pretty messed up. Having small goals and letting myself eat whatever I wanted worked. Today is 8 months for me.
I also set a quit date before I quit so my methods seem to differ from most other people. I didn’t come here until day 1 because that was my plan. Nothing against SR but and glad i waited. Had I come here prior to my quit day there would have certainly been some backlash from others about how my plan might not work.
I think every method has some validity.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Ontario
Posts: 71
I hope you find the method that works for you. I totally agree that every method has some validity. I've been sober for almost 8 months now, the longest period ever. The AV has finally calmed down. The only way I could make it through sobriety was to do it one day at a time. Committing to any longer period or 'forever' was just too overwhelming for me and always brought me to the point of wondering what the point was. The thought of taking a drink right now is too scary and I know that it can only make anything worse, not better.
Courage to you, you can do it!!!
Courage to you, you can do it!!!
yup I agree with Dee too. I have been following you FF since the class of June and you should get back to what you were doing. You had a similar slip a while back that had a long lead up. What IS the point of just 2? Antabuse isn't working for you anymore maybe? It is at least keeping you from an all out binge.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)