DesertEyes

Hello everybody,

I learned something new about faith today. I have always thought faith was about having faith in my HP. But it's not that. It's about understanding that my whole life my HP has had faith in me. Regardless of what I may have thought about my HP.

Mike

Seren

We have faith in you too, Mike

trailmix

Good to see you again Mike

Bekindalways

That is a really different perspective on Faith. Thanks Mike.

dandylion

DesertEyes------Helloooooo!! I am so very glad to see you back.

I will tell you that one of the most valuable gems on this forum, in my opinion, is the "Classic Reading" section of the stickies (on the main page,for any readers who are not familiar);
In fact, that is one thing that I frequently advise for newbies---and supply them a direct link. lol---I describe it as "Our extensive excellent library of articles".
You are the one who put our "library" together----and, I know what a massive endeavor that was, and that it was a labor of love.
Every time I send a link to a newbie, I think of you, and say a silent "Thank you, DesertEyes".
I would be impossible to estimate how much your work has contributed to inspiring and helping others around the world.

Again, it is so good to have you back. I am so thrilled that I am going to make myself a cup of cocoa---and, perhaps, do a dance in the back garden?.

RollTide

I remember you and your strength and wisdom from back in the day when I was going through a lot of insanity with my now XAH. I'm glad that you found your way back to this forum. I don't post much but I read a lot and it still helps me.

Please keep posting.

DesertEyes

Oh my goodness, thank you all for all the support and love. You all just rock.

Mike

RollTide

So what's going on with you these days, Mike?

I've been divorced from XAH for over a decade now and he has less and less space in my head. He goes off of the radar and then reappears unexpectedly. In a recent period of insane emails and phone messages I have finally blocked him from phone, email and text. In a million years I would never have thought that it would have been necessary to do this to a man who I once loved dearly. But that is where I am now and not hearing from him is much better than hearing from him.

Hevyn

Mike - I couldn't believe my eyes, seeing your post. We love you so much - and you have been so missed.

DesertEyes

It's been a nightmare few years. My mother died from dementia, my brother from the consequences of child abuse. His widow is now struggling with 3 kids, one with special needs, in this horrid economy.

I've been all over the country chasing jobs. I have a brain tumor that put me in the hospital for 6 weeks of chemo, from which I am still recovering. I can just barely sit at the computer.

My biggest challenge is the massive pain the tumor is causing, along with side effects of chemo. I have a great team of doctors, and they're doing the best they can.

The economy here in Vegas is horrid. We've got 320,000 households going into foreclosure first of the month. The county gave up on keeping track of homes being squatted.

One quarter of all hotels are filing bankruptcy. All the different businesses that serviced them are already gone. We used to have a little less than 1 million tourists per week, a planeload every 2 minutes. Now the airlines that have their hubs here are bailing. Some days they have only one plane, with only one passenger.

Otherwise, recovery rocks and life is beautiful

Exactly the same with me. Some days I still miss her, but not for long. I'm glad you are doing so well in your recovery

Mike

DesertEyes

Well, would you be willing to look around and see if there's any new material that should be added? It's been a few years since I last looked.

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Thank you so much for that

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Mike

RollTide

I lost my Mom several years ago, Mike. I miss her terribly and share your pain.

So sorry to hear about your health issues. You are in my prayers

Bekindalways

Wow Mike, you really have been going through some crap and then some. I want to think we get through some crap and life gets better; of course it does and then it gets worse again. Such is life. I just (along with everyone else here I would think) want our very own wonderful Desert Eyes Mike to catch a few breaks.

Thanks so much for checking in with us and please keep getting through the days and moments.

Peace and healing to you wonderful man.

Ann

Mike, it's like the sun came out when I saw you were here.

I am so sorry for all you have been through, but I know your faith and God's faith in you will see you to better days ahead.

I still carry my camera everywhere, watching for nature and trying to get the kind of shot you taught me to look for...straight horizons, up close to my subject (except perhaps gators and grizzlies, lol) and good light, even on a cloudy day. I moved to the big water this summer, water and birds keep me from living in my head.

Thank you for being my mentor, my friend, and my shining light of recovery. God bless you for sharing your light with others, even when you may have trouble finding it yourself.

Faith? You betcha! The world is a better place because of you.

DesertEyes

I used to think that way too. But I've given up on that. It's all about my willingness to be humble. Life is not good or bad, it just is. It's _me_ that is good or bad at accepting life with gratitude

Thank you for your kind words, and for that wonderful compliment

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You are going to make me blush with all those compliments. Thank you so much.

and I am glad you are keeping up with your photography. I have always loved your work.

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Mike

RollTide

" It's all about my willingness to be humble. Life is not good or bad, it just is. It's _me_ that is good or bad at accepting life with gratitude."

And that's why we love and need you Mike.

Bekindalways

Yes!!!!

Bernadette

Hi Mike--
Great to "see" you here again! You were such a strong presence and huge help to me when I found this forum, I'm sorry you've been struggling with a lot of tough blows.

I've been dealing w/ some life-threatening health stuff over the last 2 years and kind ppl would always say to me, "Have hope, don't give up hope!"

I learned a long time ago in AlAnon: Hope is not a plan! That little slogan has always served me well. I found that forcing myself to feel "hopeful" actually filled me with anxiety! When I chose to have faith I felt instantly relieved and stronger - faith that whatever happens I will handle it and humble myself to reality; faith that my life will still be beautiful even if I face limitations, faith that I can find small or big joys every day and faith that on days when the world seems dark and heavy and unbearable, that I am not wrong to feel crappy and sad about that, and that I know where to get help and have faith that when I seek help I find just what I need.

You made a lot of people smile by popping in and sharing your wisdom again! ((((((hugs)))))
Peace,
B.

DesertEyes

Hello there

ty ty, and thank you for the lovely compliments

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know exactly how difficult that is, especially with the American health system.

Same here. They mean well, just don't know any better.

I find a lot of the Al-Anon program to be extremely helpful.

What works for me is to have a plan, and to be taking action on it. Hope is nice, a potted flower, but not very useful.

And yes to everything you wrote.

Mike