Takeaction

Yes, I drank. I’ve been sober 15 days and today I decided to have some wine. I felt like I’ve been good so why not? I don’t like how I feel. I feel guilty...ugh.

doggonecarl

Time to recommit to sobriety. The notion to drink as a reward for being sober will seem absurd once you take drinking off the table completely.

least

In order to stay sober, you must want to be sober MORE than you want to drink.

Anna

I think you have to make the commitment to not drink anymore, ever, no matter what. Then your mind will start finding healthy ways to reward yourself.

Silver11

I did too after over 7 months sober.
Today is day 4. I’m starting again. We can do this together!

D122y

Each relapse makes the next recovery a bit harder.

Deeper and deeper.

The mental anguish just gets worse and worse until insanity rules.

The addiction is stronger earlier than most folks understand.

Rewarding myself for not drinking by drinking was really the crave ramping up.

Denying myself a drink during this time was when the madness began to really show through.

When this started that is when I really began to know what I was dealing with.

The crave ramped up for many months.

Thanks.

snitch

This is the insanity of this illness. That we feel we need to reward ourselves with the same toxic substance that we have not been using because of its ill effects on us. It's a lie. There is no reward in drinking alcohol for people like us.

In the future when you hit little sober milestones, reward yourself by having some delicious cake, or buying yourself something nice, have a massage! Anything but drink.

Don't beat yourself up. treat this as a learning experience. You were sober for 2 weeks, drank and it made you feel awful. There's a great lesson there.

NerfThis

It will be very hard to quit if you are using alcohol as a reward for not drinking.
I had to accept alcohol as a negative element in my life and not something to have as a reward for anything.

Sober45

You're name says it all, you pick it for a reason. It's time.

LumenandNyx

Was that a feeling or was it a thought? Because it wasn't yours either way. It belongs to the part of you that wants alcohol - not the part of you that is left with the consequences of IT'S behavior. :/

ImNotThatGuy

Me three after almost a year. Day Four here too. Let's do this together!

sugarbear1

I was in my first year of recovery and would sometimes get thoughts about drinking. I thought they would come when life was bad/bumpy/not going my way, but I was surprised to find out the thoughts of drinking came more often when things were going well! Be vigilant!!

Takeaction

It was a thought...and I ran with it trying to justify my actions.

I know once I dapple I’m right back where I was. I don’t want to be that person ever again! It was dumb to think I could reward myself with the very thing that makes me sick. I’m going to start going to the gym and incorporating more activities so I’m busy. Once I get lazy my mind wanders to wanting to drink.

Dee74

It’s one of the illogical things about addiction that we seek to reward ourselves with the thing we’re trying to stop doing.

I’m glad you made it back take action. Now’s a great time to live up to your user name

D

ciowa

Dust yourself off and stay on the good path Most people I know who have alcohol disorders don't go back to being a "normal drinker". Sure, there might be a few times when going back to the bottle results in some initial "normal drinking" bouts but you will quickly be back in the worst of everything before you can stop it. If nothing bad happened during your slip up, take it as a blessing and not an invitation.

AlbaSober

I think the gym is a great idea for you takeaction. If you have a regular time of the day ( for me it's evenings ) that you think about drinking fill it was some gym time. Unlike alcohol exercise is a high that isn't followed by crashing lows.

Dee74

Hows it going takeaction?
D