echika

Dears again,
My boyfriend has been drinking almost 2 decades of course he was mild drinker but since last five years his drinking was intensified, he did not have steady since 2015 April. By June 2019, he had his first seizure, then second seizure was December 17, 2019 while I was with him, it was scary and the most shaking seizure, the third one was July 29, 2020. I am so scared, in last two seizures, I took him emergency room. These seizures happened in 24-48 hours of his alcohol withdrawal. He drunk from 21-26 days consecutively since May.... I am so scared, he is 39 years old. Is he gonna die if he drinks at this pace?

Bekindalways

Ah Echika, that is terrifying. Was he trying to get sober when he went into seizures?

Many alcoholics will survive long after many thought they wouldn't and some die way sooner than expected so it is tough to know.

echika

Thanks dear for your response, every time when he had seizure, he seems very understanding and stop a while, because I was so terrified, but it seems genuinely he is not interested in give up the the drinking, even moderate. Once he starts, it is not only 2 or 4 days. It last 21 to 27 days. Its gotten worse year by year.

Seren

I'm sorry to say that alcoholism is progressive. That means it typically gets worse with time. Unless the alcoholic decides they have had enough. Only your boyfriend can decide to stop and take the action needed to stop. And believe me when I say, we know how helpless that feels. But we can only control ourselves, not other people.

Hang in there! Keep reading here and asking questions. It helps!

echika

Thank dear Seren,
For your advice and time to read my post and concerns, I really appreciate. I was doing very detailed memory of the past 3 years, how his drinking progressed. When I first met him in 2015 December it was mild, 2016, it was mild, then increased in 2017, 2018 by 7 to 10 days consecutively , then 2019 it was increased to 14-16 days, then since 2020 May, its like 21-27 days.
Its so sad, I cant do anything about it.

healthyagain

This is something noone really knows. There is a big chance, but there is also a chance that he will bounce back if he stops and commit to recovery. When my ex finally hit the bottom three years ago, many did not believe he would survive, as he was on his death bed. He had seizures, a very specific body odor (stench as if his whole body was decaying), the palest skin I have ever seen, and yellow eyes. But he got medical care and then went to rehab. Have not been in touch since 2017, but I know he is still alive. It was too late for our relationship though. We were divorced by then. And the relationship is really the only thing that died. Whether he still drinks? Now, that is really not part of my life anymore. I only have a memory of him at a certain point in time. And I am really, really sorry for what you are going trough.

SparkleKitty

Echika, gently I suggest that it does not serve you (or him) to engage in tracking his drinking. It's an activity that nurtures our illusion that we have control over another person's actions and behavior, when we should be focusing on acceptance that there is nothing we can do to make someone else stop drinking.

Bekindalways

Hey Echika, I hope your day is going okay.

I'm going to add a bit to what Sparklekitty said. The best thing you can do right now is detach from him and his drinking and focus on yourself. Doing this is absolutely contra-intuitive and absolutely the best thing for anyone in a relationship with an addict to do.

If you haven't read it yet, look into the book Codependent No More. It is a bit of a bible around here.

Let us know how you get on.