StartAnew68

Apologies not being around. What with internet problems (up and down more than .................... (insert your preferred phrase)). Issues with the property I'm living in (banged on before I think about the damp in both bedrooms, sleeping on the sofa for over a year and a half etc etc). Family issues and, like everyone, the effect of COVID-19, especially for those like myself who live on their own. I have spoken to my son and parents via Zoom etc. but it's not the same.

Last weekend I gave in and had a bottle of wine. Half Saturday night and half Sunday lunchtime. Nowhere near what I had consumed previously but still the top of a slippery slope. So now on Day 4 but for checking in purposes, Day 1.

If I disappear for a day or two it's because I have to have a gastroscopy next week. As I don't know anybody who can pick me up afterwards I've got to have it without any anaesthetic at all so will probably be feeling sorry for myself and skulking under the covers.

On a positive, thanks to the mental health nurse at my local hospital intervening on my behalf, the local district council have moved me into the priority housing needs bracket on the housing register so in the next few months I should be out of this hell hole and able to actually sleep in my bed! (I rent a property with two bedrooms - one riddled with damp and one with black mold).

Hope everybody is well xx

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you made it back.
Sorry for all the challenges too but drinkings not going to make any of that any better - you know that.
Good luck with your procedure too - but spring for an Uber after man - you're worth it

D

StartAnew68

Feel free to get the world's smallest violin out - on Saturday I've got to go to a completely different town to have a virus swab test (don't do it at my local hospital as it is COVID free and they are keeping it 'protected') and the fare there and back is going to wipe me out this month (thank heavens for 2 packs of bread mix and a pack of powdered milk I have in the cupboard.

But hey, I need the exercise. Turning in to a real lardy-a***. This time next year my child will be having their graduation so I want to be able to wear something nice so no alco-calories and lots of walking for me

Sober45

Sounds like you have a lot going on. I would look at this as a test of my resolve. Nothing builds up sober muscles like going through tough times without booze. Since last October my life has been turned upside down due to family deaths occurring during all the COVID restrictions. There's still a lot going on but I'm getting through it sober and today I'm a 1000x stronger...and so is my 18 year old daughter. When you strengthen yourself, you strengthen the people you love...as I am finding out.

Everything you wish for is attainable as long as you remain sober.

StartAnew68

I am so sorry to hear what you've been going through xx

Anna

I'm glad you're here, and it sounds like you have a lot to deal with. It's good that you're moving so you can see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as having a decent place to live. Good luck with the procedure, and I hope you keep posting.

StartAnew68

I've just set my alarm for 8:30am every day to remind me to check in on the 24 hour thread and also for 5pm reminding me how much better I feel sober.

Gabe1980

I am glad you are here SA and I love that idea of setting a timer as a reminder to be grateful. I am going to pinch that from you! I hope your medical stuff goes okay and you take good care of yourself. These have been tough times and the isolation is really challenging

splendra

Sorry youhave had such a hard time. Glad you are checking in

StartAnew68

Thank you for the kind messages and sorry I wasn't here to say thank you earlier. My internet is a real PITA at the moment. DEFINTITELY will not be sticking with my provider when I finally get somewhere to move to!

Managed some AA meetings and also a couple of meetings with an organisation who are providing me with support and potentially in the future training. I also referred myself for CBT therapy. As I've only had that one bottle of the wine in ages they are happy to take me on to their books.

I've got a call booked for next Wednesday with the Citizens's Advice Bureau (been trying to find an equivalent in other countries to explain who they are but can't. Basically they are mostly volunteers that can give legal advice and support for free) as they are one of the two organisations that can apply for a Debt Relief Order for me.

That would mean all my debts (with one or two exceptions but I don't think they affect me) will be frozen up until the date of the order and after 12 months they will be written off. Anything incurred after the date of the order will have to be paid - in essence it is starting from scratch. If my circumstances do change favourably for me (eg all the counselling helps and I do find myself able to work) then the DRO is cancelled and I would make arrangements with my creditors to pay them back.

I would prefer to be working but my counsellors keep telling me off for thinking that way as I'm putting pressure on myself which drags me down.

Apologies, bit of a ramble!