Resurgence

Hi all,

I'm an infrequent poster here, but I log in every day to absorb the collective wisdom. Like so many others here, SR has been my go-to tool and primary support source. So, thank you all.

Today marks 12 weeks without a drink for me, which is my second-longest sober period in my adult life - the longest being four months in 2015. This Wednesday will also mark 21 weed-free weeks, which was inconceivable a few months ago.

Around this time last year, I was unable to leave the house without either: a) going to the pub, or b) sneaking into the off-licence. By Christmas, I was unable to go to work without a) drinking wine, or b) being stoned.

Quite a contrast, right? But the intervening pain, hurt, and eventual growth can wait until another post because I need to lean on you once more.

On Wednesday, I'm travelling to the city to attend a compulsory medical appointment. I've haven't ventured out far in the last three months, and I've given the city's bright lights a wide berth to protect my sobriety. But I'm worried. And being relatively new to the area, I don't have any friends around, so I don't have the option of a chaperone. I'm 12 weeks in, and the cravings have lessened, but I want to fast forward to Thursday.

Any advice will be very gratefully received.
Thank you,
RS

Coldfusion

Hi Resurgence!

I stay sober by reading and posting here plus going to AA meetings. Many AA meetings are being held online now. Look up AA in your area or the place you are visiting. Here is just one group's meetings, in the Pacific time zone (GMT -7h).

https://eastsideaa.org/meetings/?tsml-type=ONL

LumenandNyx

Hire someone to go with you. Call it a Companion For Hire. It worked for me!

fini

set a schedule for that day, with other time commitments before and after, so that you cannot be going down other routes.
carry beverages with you that you enjoy, and some food, so that you get neither thirsty nor hungry. if you have a mobile phone, take SR with you.

Anna

I think that planning ahead, as you are, will help. Maybe you could bring along a good book to read while travelling and waiting, and some good music might also help. After the appointment, maybe you could treat yourself to a specialty coffee or ice cream before you head home. What do you think might help you?

MaximusD

I would agree. Set a schedule or set up some sort of accountability. Is there someone you can call?

Rsanchez920

Congrats on 12 weeks...as I mentioned in another post the free sobriety podcasts on Spotify have saved me over the last week. Maybe listen to a few leading up....It reignited my excitement for a new sober life....it keeps the reasons why I want this fresh in key kind. It may help you if your into that. Sober curious and the dry life are two but if you search there are many!

Robbie64

Congratulations on 12 weeks sober. I can understand how you are feeling anxious as I had a hospital appointment last week in a city that I spent much of my late teens and early 20s getting drunk in so I know the pubs like the back of my hand (though many now have different names). I deliberately left my wallet at home and only took the money I needed for the bus fare and to get a bite to eat afterwards (which I couldn't do anyway as McDonalds had a queue of people waiting to get in and there was nowhere to sit inside until someone left). I just got out of the city as quick as I could but I still got a temptation to drink as I was near some of my old haunts.

Could you do the same, leave all but the essential money you need at home? How will you be travelling? I presume public transport? Could you just arrange to get away as quick as possible? In a way I'm glad McD's was busy as I just went straight for the bus to get home.

Dee74

Keep SR on your phone or device - we're here 24/7

I understand being nervous but I don't believe in our addiction lurking all powerful in some dark alley waiting to attack us...you have a say and a choice in whether you drink again - you have the power.

I think in the last 12 weeks, regardless of whether you've been tested or not, you've grown a little and changed. You have more ammunition that ever to see that drinking again would be a disastrous choice.

I believe you can do this Resurgence

D

Robbie64

Dee: is there a mobile version of this website? I've tried to access SR on my phone using a browser but the text is too small to read and it means when I'm outside I can't really access the website. Thanks.

Dee74

theres a 'sober recovery mobile' style

in your User CP ( top left hand corner of page)
you can change to that under edit options > scroll down to forum skin

remember to scroll right down then and save changes

D

Misssy2

Hi..12 weeks is very well into you forming new habits and things that have kept you away from a drink so far.
Seeing this is a medical appointment it doesn't seem like it will be a "partying issue".

I would try to look at this as you venturing out on your new journey of living life the "right" way and "handling stuff as it comes" instead of stuffing everything down or hiding behind the alcohol.

Tell yourself "positive" things Like...this is going to be awesome, I am not going to have to worry about alcohol messing with my appointment, I will be there, fresh faced and ready to handle what i am given. There will be no need on worrying about how to get alcohol or if your drinking will be recognized...because you won't be drinking.....you can do this....think about many people that do these things everyday and never drink alcohol.

I know my goal is always to live as normal as possible without alcohol....so this is one of those situations where you should be "normal" and without alcohol....You can do this...and especially if you tell yourself YOU WILL DO THIS.

Resurgence

Thanks everyone.

I'll stay close to SR tomorrow.

Resurgence

In the city now and have two hours to kill before my appointment.

I've stopped into a coffee shop and had a huge mug of latte, but I'm ruminating on having a beer.

AV is justifying one or two, which it probably would be. But I know it'd lead to drinking again this weekend.

Dee74

Imagine how good you'll feel waking up tomorrow not having drank today

Your AV is trying to convince you that this is a different situation to the rest of your recovery and that, faced with opportunity, you'll buckle.

I don't think thats the case - 12 weeks is a great milestone and you don't do that length of time by accident.

I also don't think that buckler is the kind of person you want to be.

Tell your AV to knock it off.

You're not the same as you used to be.

go read a book or see a short movie or something.

Fill the next 2 hours.


D

Noam19

Hi Resurgence, I hope your trip to the city is going well. Keep doing what you're doing, check in here, be mindful of the thoughts but also remind yourself where you end up if you go down that road. Your latte may not have seemed that great, but having that sober and fresh compared to being hungover and miserable makes that latte score a few more points!

You got this! Just wait until you get home and think about the feeling of satisfaction you will have from conquering today's fears.

Resurgence

Dee, Noam - thanks so much for your replies.

I took them to heart and mind, and can gladly report I'm home and dry

Hodd

Top man, Res. Give yourself a lot more credit. Twelve weeks is good going in the midst of this bizarre time. And then two dangerous hours to kill. Surely there’s no reason why this can’t be permanent?

MaximusD

Whoo hoo! Good to hear and way to post first and plan ahead!

Dee74

I knew you could do it resurgence - keep an especially careful eye on that AV for a few days though - it may try and get you to drink now cos you did so well today.

D