Flowing

Just curious as to when people first said, with confidence, "I don't drink" to people rather than "I'm taking a break" "I'm on medication" "I'm driving" etc etc....

For me telling people "I don't drink" seems impossible, I find myself going along with conversations about alcohol, like my sobriety is a secret. I know this has to change at some point and I was just wondering when it did fir others?

biminiblue

At the second time I was involved in an alcohol situation...about a month and a half after I'd quit? I think.

I did say, "I've quit drinking," when it was someone who knew me when I drank. I was absolutely certain I was DONE and I was leaving no doubts - to anyone. I think that's probably the first thing to get straight - do you mean it?

I don't think there's a right thing to say. You'll know.

doggonecarl

I have been sober long enough to have no problem telling people I don't drink. But it rarely comes up. When offered an alcoholic beverage, I say, "no, thanks." No disclaimer necessary. I rarely, if ever, have to explain myself.

That said, I'm quite open about my recovery and if people inquire, I talk about it.

LadyBug66

Mine was about a year after I quit drinking. When I first quit drinking I was telling everyone I was doing "Dry January" then it was, "I'm not going to drink for a year to be healthier". After I made it a year I knew I wasn't going to drink again and people quit bugging me about why I wasn't drinking anymore. Now I just say out loud that I don't drink.

FlyAgain

After a while you realise that nobody really notices that you’re not drinking and if they do they rarely ask.

And most people who know you better than a drinking friend are glad to see you not drinking.

I bumped in to an old friend in a supermarket recently, I haven’t seen him in 15 years. He suggested going for a beer and a game of pool soon, I said sure - but I don’t drink anymore. He said - I’m happy to hear that. No explanation needed or to fill in the 15 year story of my drinking. And it shows that my drinking must have been noticeable to people many many years ago for him to remember it!

least

I don't remember exactly when it was, but I think around 6 months in. I just said, I don't drink, and that was the end of it.

LumenandNyx

I started telling others that I don't drink immediately. But not very many people asked and instead of offering that information upfront and spotlighting it, I'd just say "I'll have a Ginger Ale".

No one really seems to care.

Dee74

For me it was around the same time as I realised that, apart from my old drinking friends, nobody really cared what I was drinking, or whether I was drinking alcohol or not.

I had to make a clean break from the life I had - I needed to put clear distance between who I had been and who I wanted to be.

I made really major changes to, and tough decisions about, the types of invites I accepted for a while.

If you’re still doing the same kinds of things with the same crowd, I can see how that would be tougher, but not impossible.

awuh1

I have a routine. If someone asks me if I drink, or want a drink I politely say no. If they ask me why I tell them that I am allergic to alcohol. If they ask what happens when I drink, I tell them that I break out in handcuffs.

Anna

Flowing, I have always relied on 'No, thanks' and it's worked well for me. I wasn't comfortable with lying and I wasn't comfortable with telling people I didn't drink. I think it's important to remember that you don't need to offer anyone an explanation as to why you don't want to drink alcohol.

MaximusD

Hahahahaha!!!! This made me LOL for real and that rarely happens. HAHAHA!

Misssy2

When I quit the first time in 2005...If anyone noticed I wasn't drinking (we think everyone notices and they don't..lol)...but if anyone noticed at work or any other function I would PROUDLY say "I DONT DRINK, CANT DRINK, SOMETHING I HAVE ALL FIGURED OUT"....and I used to laugh.

I would probably say the same thing now if someone asked because I had 8 years sober....drank for 6 more....have 25 days and I am PROUD again that I don't drink...now.

D122y

I started saying it after few months.

I was such a drunk before I quit that folks really could not believe it. I was always the drunkest person in the room.

i realized after about 1 year I was actually a non drinker that got tricked into drinking as a small child.

i don't blame anyone. It was exactly what i wanted to do, until i didn't want to do it anymore.

That being said, i was deeply addicted and i still suffer paws etc. From my decades of boozing.

Thanks.

59Woodwall

I hope you don't mind me asking but what drove you to drink after having long periods of abstinence? Obviously if its too personal don't feel obligated to answer

The reason I ask is that I'm coming up on 6 months sober next week and at the moment couldn't imagine drinking again but obviously it can easily happen.

mainly wondering if there's any triggers/ stressors you'd advise me to look out for?

Thanks

Surrendered19

Hi Flowing. I've never really had to have that conversation with anyone because I realized after a few months sober that nobody really cares or pays attention to what I am drinking or not. On the few occasions I've been around drinkers, I grab a soda and that was that. We addicts can be so self-centered and the reality is what we have in our hands and dump down our throats is of very little interest to anyone. No need to engage on what kind of sushi you prefer and no need to engage on most other things we put into our bodies. If someone offers me a drink, I just say "no thanks" and that is usually the end of the story.

fini

i said “no thanks” with confidence right from the start(this time around), and “i don’t drink” , which gives much more information, only when the situation/conversation seems to call for it, which is rarely.
”i don’t drink” is a statement about, hm, a way of being in the world, whereas “no thanks” applies to the moment one is offered a drink, and is totally sufficient. if/when i want to share more, open a conversation, i will say “i don’t drink”.
seems to me there’s danger in telling people we’re taking a break, on meds, or any such thing which strongly implies a very temporary circumstance...i think if i had said that to others, i would have been saying it to myself on some level also.

”no thanks” with a smile is a really cool thing to say, i find.

Misssy2

I'm glad I came back to check this post....YES...being complacent? ...I truly, honestly thought 8 years...(which is many, many days, many new habits)....TRULY THOUGHT this exact thought to myself - "You have not had a drink in 8 years....its logical that I can have some drinks tonight and just don't drink again for a long period of time"......I always heard it got worse...but I again thought....its ridiculous that I will be worse I will only drink ONE night-tonight" and that is IT......

And when I did....I was pretty good with the amount.....don't remember how many but nothing like before....but then a couple days went by and I figured..well that wasn't bad...and I feel like an "adult" that can have a few drinks....and I drank again....and then I noticed I drank 1x a week for a while...and then before i realized it, I was out of control ...and the initial desire I had to stop drinking in 2005 never would come back...everytime I tried to quit again within a few weeks....I would be on another binge...this has continued for 6 years.....

But 25 days ago....I felt like I did when I quit in 2005...its very hard to explain but I KNEW I was done....it was a different feeling and I am not going to test it ever again...That is the problem...I know you said you didn't want to drink right now anyway...but please remember this story...because I am strong, I am smart, I am educated....and to me after 8 years it shouldn't have turned into a problem and it snuck right up on me and stole my desire to stay stopped...

Congratulations on 6 months and wish you many more YEARS of sobriety.

brighterday1234

The day I got sober.

Dropsie

I started saying I dont drink pretty quickly, but only if needed. Mostly I go with Coke Zero please.

To be honest, I still fudge a bit after five years about why. I say I dont drink, but if people ask I avoid the ugly truth. Makes my eldest mad if it gets back to her as she thinks I need to totally own how bad it was and I see her point. But for me, that is personal.

If asked, I stress the postive, that I sleep better, feel better, can always be to work early if needed, etc etc. Maybe I do need to be better about owning how bad it was, but I think as long as I own that to myself, that is enough.

To each their own.

PS. So glad to have you back M2, we missed you.

Zebra1275

Just curious as to when people first said, with confidence, "I don't drink" to people

It feels good to tell you that I honestly don't remember, it's been over 10 years.