overforty

This time seven days ago I was in my bathroom with my head in the toilet, feeling like death, shivering and crying and feeling really sorry for myself after a night of blacking out after the usual 2 bottles of wine.
I'm writing this down so I can look back and remember that going back down that route is madness!
Even though I'm stuck at home after losing my job and falling over a couple of days ago ( sober )
and spraining my ankle and bruising the rest of my body - I feel so much better for having 7 days of sobriety - I wish I could dance like that emoji right now!
At least I remember falling over
My plan is to recover and focus on my overall health and happiness.
I'm so grateful to SR for having somewhere where people understand without judgement

Dee74

Congrats on your week - hope you'll be back up on your feet soon

D

overforty

Thanks Dee
I was just reading your thread on recovery plans - I think not having a plan was where I failed in the past.
At the moment I'm just trying to get through each day and because I don't feel 100% it's easier not to drink if that makes sense.
The danger zone for me is when I'm feeling well - I will want to celebrate with a drink and start on the deluded thinking that I can moderate blah blah.
That is when I need a plan.

Kaily

You are doing so well. You managed to ignore the AV's calling when you fell (an easy excuse to drink in early days), and soon you will be reaping the rewards of recovery and also walking without a limp!

Keep doing what you're doing.

overforty

Thanks Kaily
I'm so over feeling like death!
I cant wait to get back on my feet!

Hodd

We’ve all been there (your opening post) looking into the toilet and feeling like death. I actually felt that way a few months ago after eating too many naan breads. It was a grim
reminder of my old self when hangovers were the norm.

I quite often had a week off drinking, but this was usually after a heavy session. As soon I felt healthy again, I’d drink as normal. Use this past week as a bit of a springboard. Your body will already have made minuscule changes for the better as a result of the week off. As Dee’s thread says, a recovery plan can be anything which doesn’t involve drinking. I used to sit in front on a TV or computer and drink. I then started going to the gym, so that was time spent away from my drinking environment. So it could be any activity that doesn’t involve drinking.

If you were on 2 bottles of wine a day, that’s alcohol dependency unfortunately, so it really is a case of quitting totally or reverting back to your old ways. There is no moderation for the likes of us. No treats or rewards. They’ll come with time. I’m 18 months sober and life’s great. I still get urges occasionally, but if I drank now I’d be back to my old ways within a week.

Good luck, and go easy on yourself.

Awake61

I fell down the other day, sober and had a good laugh over it! (Luckily not hurt)

Noam19

This time last week I was closing in on another 2 week stretch of sobriety. Today I'm on day 3 after a bender Wed-Sat last week. This one hurt me emotionally and on Saturday I remember yelling at myself in the hotel mirror to "STOP THIS". I dumped the rest. The cycle is exhausting. I have to figure out a different way to deal with the AV when I'm in the phase where I've been sober for awhile and feeling great physically. This is the toughest stretch for a binge drinker like myself. Those breaks I've always had are that time when you can talk yourself into saying you don't really have a problem. Listening to some stuff from Alcohol Explained author, William Porter on this topic that is helpful.

ImNotThatGuy

Congratulations on a week!

As one prone to ankle sprains, I understand how much it stinks to have to elevate and ice for a few days. Hope you get back on your feet soon.

Reid82

Well done on a week now.

lessgravity

That memory can become nothing but a small bulb of thought buried in the back of the attic of your mind if you do the work to get sober. The plan is where it's at. I used to hear that all the time on this site as well but never got my head around it until I finally got sober for good. It wasn't that long ago that my head was in the toilet after another night of fear and panic and sadness. You can get the life you deserve. Start today. Make a plan. Stay close as you can to SR. So much support, wisdom and resources here. Welcome back.

overforty

Thankyou for all your replies
I feel pretty isolated and its so helpful having people to talk to - even if it is virtual people.
I'm all over the place at the moment - my emotions are running high.
It has crossed my mind to hobble to the shops and get wine to dull the loneliness - but I know where that path leads.
I'm going to watch yet another film and try and heal quickly so I can get outside.
Staying indoors all day on my own is driving me mad!

Steely

I picked up after 2 weeks for a long time. Different times. But it always turned out the same. Disappointment. I do not tolerate alcohol at all. It alters me badly. I prefer the unintoxicated girl always.

Sobriety is easier than drunk now. It's more interesting. Get to really think. Which was what I was trying to avoid. I avoided everything I should have been embracing.

I've picked up after 2 weeks many times, just didn't seem worth it anymore. The 2 weeks begin to accumulate mentally/physically and I'm disappointed again. Only moreso. Sobriety has not been disappointing, even if it sucked sometimes.

It was not possible any longer for me to continue drinking. Madness. I'm enjoying sobriety so much more. It's useful.

So good you handled your ankle injury sober.

Sober45

I wrote down everything in the early days also and it has really helped me. By coming here and reading/posting every day you are keeping your sobriety fresh so that it doesn't stale-date. I tried many many times previously but failed. Now I'm almost to 7 months SOBER. The feeling of accomplishment I have now, can't be measured.

Just by posting on this thread today, you are reinforcing your sobriety! You're doing awesome!!

Another thing I did that has really helped was a before and after pic. I started to show a few close friends last week day 1 vs day 195. The difference is UNBELIEVABLE. Actually, I'm gonna go take a look now!

Steely

I'm just 7 months too Sober45. You are right. It's immeasurable. Congratulations.

Gabe1980

Well done on your first week and keep it going! You do feel so much better the more sober time you have. I hope your ankle gets better soon and you can again soon!

MaximusD

Overforty, congrats on the first week. It is great to think about where you were a week earlier and be in such a better place isn't it!

Hevyn

I wish I'd written down parts of my journey, overforty. The memories may dim with time, and we must never forget where we've been & all we stand to lose by going back out. Proud of you for the week of sobriety!

Kdon853

You never have to feel like that again.

MissPerfumado

Keep going ... one week is awesome.

I live alone too, which is one reason why I came back to this site after quite some time away. It's important to stay connected with people. I love living alone as it has taught me self-sufficiency and I really appreciate the joys of solitude. But in times of isolation, I think it's a good idea to amp up the time spent connecting with people virtually.

While you are recovering from your injury, balance out spoiling yourself (surfing websites you like, watching TV programmes you enjoy etc.) with some of the recovery work like building out the sobriety plan and reading sober lit. The great thing about SR is that it is both enjoyable and helpful to recovery. And helpful in sharing your experience with others. Keep reading, posting and sharing!