Flowing

Hi all.

I've posted a few times on here over the past month or so, those who have read my posts will know I've been very hesitant about starting the recovery process again. I have come to realise that all of my reasons to keep drinking are coming from my inner addict, my AV.

I am currently on day 10 and I'm hoping to engage here, stay sober and share my story.

I really feel like I'd benefit from face to face, group support but with Covid I'm not sure how realistic that is in the UK?

The recovery approach that appeals to me the most from what I've found so far is AVRT, Rational Recovery. So if anyone has any pointers in that direction I'd very much appreciate it.

All the best.

least

Check out the Secular forums. I'm not into AVRT but there's a lot of info about it in the Secular forum.

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

C0ntr0ls

Congrats on day 10!

Dee74

If you want to check them out the secular forums are here Flowing
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...r-connections/

congrats on 10 days

D

Robbie64

Congratulations on Day 10 Flowing

MaximusD

Congrats on day 10 flowing!

Flowing

Thank you everyone.

I'll sertainly check out the secular forums.

I think my biggest problem at the moment is whether to "come out" as sober or not and if I do how I go about it?

I've always cared far too much about what other people think, I actually think this is particularly detrimental to my sobriety.

MaximusD

Don't think so hard about it. Most people could care less. I am currently cutting all the crap out of my diet so that is what I tell people.

Hodd

I think you have to “come out”, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the reactions. I have a group of friends I’ve known for 30 years. We’re very close, but we don’t meet up that much now due to location. When we do/did, it was always an all day drinking session. None of my friends drink at home so they’ll only drink occasionally albeit too much, but I wouldn’t say they’re dependent. I, on the other hand, drank every day and was dependent.

I just told my friends I’d tried to cut down but found I was dependent and had a few health problems (overweight - which was apparent - and a fatty liver). They were fine about it. Now we can go out. They can drink all day whilst I drink alcohol free or whatever and go home early. And as they are friends, if I did get tempted to drink (nearly 19 months sober but we’re all susceptible to a relapse), they’d snatch the drink out my hand!

You don’t need to tell anyone you’re dependent. Saying you choose not to drink for health reasons is perfectly OK and most people are actually impressed.

redlboro

I definitely get what you're saying about "coming out" about it. However for me it's the get out of jail free card to keep on drinking if I do continue to keep it a secret. To that end I've started telling people that matter / need to know. I've found so far everyone has been very supportive. I do think it's a necessary step although everyone's situation is different of course.

MaximusD

True that if coming out helps you in your sobriety you should do it. Still, you will find everyone supportive. I would caution against it though outside of personal relationships. The job market could sterotype.

redlboro

I've had issue with this. I fully intended to tell my work colleagues as a lot of them are on my social media and I consider some as friends. One of my friends that I have told has strongly urged me not to say anything to them. I'm in two minds now. I dont feel it's a complete clean break if I keep it a secret from some. I have a good relationship with the head of HR and am pretty certain they would be supportive but it has put me in a bit of a predicament now 🤔

Dee74

I don't tell people about all my many medical issues.

Apart from the fact I don't have to, I don;t think I'm being dishonest.
Everyone is entitled to a little privacy.

One the genie is out of the bottle with alcoholism, it's out and there's no stuffing it back in.
Like it or not Alcoholism is still seen as a moral failing or a weakness by some.

You may find peoples trust in you is affected.

You need to consider that aspect carefully before you broadcast the news.

D

redlboro

Thanks Dee74,

Its definitely got me thinking and for now I will delay that decision. Maybe more sobriety time is required at the very least. I'm only coming up to 30 days and have only ever managed around 4 months as an adult so best probably to think on it some more.

The advice is really appreciated.