One year:)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 141
One year:)
Hello everyone. I wanted to check in and say thanks for helping me finally get on this train and gain some momentum. This time last year, I was so DONE with the cycle of drinking and killing myself...I was falling far down the rabbit hole of despair and I had tried to quit and failed so many times over the past number of years that I had resigned myself to dying an alcoholic. Thing was, no one would have known. NOBODY knew I was as far gone as I was, and I was terrified to out myself to get the help I needed.
How this drug fools us.
I guess it was fate, or just dumb luck, but inevitably, I finally got found out, and I spilled my guts. Burned the ships. It was actually such a relief not to have to carry this around anymore. Then, I got busy quitting. Podcasts, meetings, and plain old running it out when there was something/one/place that was just making me feel, well, ANYTHING. For years I drank if I was happy, sad, anxious, celebrating; whether it was raining, sunny, snowing. Everything was a reason to drown myself and escape.
I’ve carried some heavy baggage in my years, but never a backpack as heavy as the guilt, shame, self loathing, depression, and anxiety that addiction handed me. What a sweet relief to put it down and take my life back. What a new empathy and perspective I’ve been gifted for others in similar places.
Life has lightened up, I’ve passed my first year mark, and whatever it brings, I’ll keep doing the work to take it on head first sober.
Thanks gang
How this drug fools us.
I guess it was fate, or just dumb luck, but inevitably, I finally got found out, and I spilled my guts. Burned the ships. It was actually such a relief not to have to carry this around anymore. Then, I got busy quitting. Podcasts, meetings, and plain old running it out when there was something/one/place that was just making me feel, well, ANYTHING. For years I drank if I was happy, sad, anxious, celebrating; whether it was raining, sunny, snowing. Everything was a reason to drown myself and escape.
I’ve carried some heavy baggage in my years, but never a backpack as heavy as the guilt, shame, self loathing, depression, and anxiety that addiction handed me. What a sweet relief to put it down and take my life back. What a new empathy and perspective I’ve been gifted for others in similar places.
Life has lightened up, I’ve passed my first year mark, and whatever it brings, I’ll keep doing the work to take it on head first sober.
Thanks gang
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,506
Congratulations on your one year, Sapph. I agree with you - it was such a relief to get free of it. Hard to believe we once thought it was fun & helped to calm us down. As you said, it tries to fool us.
.gif)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Originally Posted by Sapph21 
Hello everyone. I wanted to check in and say thanks for helping me finally get on this train and gain some momentum. This time last year, I was so DONE with the cycle of drinking and killing myself...I was falling far down the rabbit hole of despair and I had tried to quit and failed so many times over the past number of years that I had resigned myself to dying an alcoholic. Thing was, no one would have known. NOBODY knew I was as far gone as I was, and I was terrified to out myself to get the help I needed.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
As I was reading your post I was nodding.
Every one of us has mostly that same experience when we give it a good try for 8-9 months. Not just, "Not drinking," but thinking about all that other stuff that you mention. The first-hand accounts are so similar that it's almost eerie.
Congrats on your One Year. I'm very happy for you.
Every one of us has mostly that same experience when we give it a good try for 8-9 months. Not just, "Not drinking," but thinking about all that other stuff that you mention. The first-hand accounts are so similar that it's almost eerie.
Congrats on your One Year. I'm very happy for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 141
Thanks everybody. You have each provided the most important thing for anyone of us that wants to change their relationship to alcohol- a safe, non judgemental place for us to share, connect, learn, get and STAY sober. Knowing this forum exists as an outlet and support, has been one of the handiest tools on my sobriety tool belt
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
