1 year follow up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 105
1 year follow up
Hey everyone! Last summer (almost to the day) I was back on this site pleading for help and strength to get through yet another substance abuse run with my now ex boyfriend (10 years in the making, 5 knowing of his addiction).. I still come to this site often to read from people who “get it” and to remind myself that no Contact was the best thing I could have done....but here I am 1 year later happier than I’ve been in a LONG time..
It is not the happy ending most of us hope for while engulfed in Someone else’s addiction but I came back to check in and let you know there IS another way of life.. I NEVER thought so either, my addict ex and I had gone around and around and around for years getting absolutely nowhere..
don’t get me wrong, I have my days and nights but they have become fewer and farther apart and this board has been the most amazing support for almost 5 years now...I can’t be thankful enough to have found it.
For anyone still holding on to the hope we can change our addicts, I encourage you to love and respect yourself MORE than you love them, life rewards you when you do.. you don’t have to hate them or wish Ill, but simply respect yourself more than the trauma addiction ensures
happy fourth to everyone! I hope quarantine is treating you all okay - sending lots of positive vibes and strength your way!
It is not the happy ending most of us hope for while engulfed in Someone else’s addiction but I came back to check in and let you know there IS another way of life.. I NEVER thought so either, my addict ex and I had gone around and around and around for years getting absolutely nowhere..
don’t get me wrong, I have my days and nights but they have become fewer and farther apart and this board has been the most amazing support for almost 5 years now...I can’t be thankful enough to have found it.
For anyone still holding on to the hope we can change our addicts, I encourage you to love and respect yourself MORE than you love them, life rewards you when you do.. you don’t have to hate them or wish Ill, but simply respect yourself more than the trauma addiction ensures
happy fourth to everyone! I hope quarantine is treating you all okay - sending lots of positive vibes and strength your way!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thanks for the uplifting post, Linzey, and I am so glad things are going better for you.
It is so hard to let go of the dreams that will never be, but new and better dreams are ahead once we know how to make the break and keep it.
It took me years and years to finally realize that my son's addiction was not mine to "fix". And years and years later he still hasn't done that but I have found a new and better life that does not include addiction, and never will.
Addiction was killing me, through stress and fear and all the bad stuff that goes with being the mother of an addict, so I had to save myself first and I have never regretted that. Today my life too is filled with joy and I embrace the beauty in every day, good or bad.
You did it, you loved yourself more and there lies the key to escaping the toxic relationship that is run by addiction.
Well Done. Thank you for sharing that and I hope the newcomers will find hope and inspiration in your post.
Hugs
It is so hard to let go of the dreams that will never be, but new and better dreams are ahead once we know how to make the break and keep it.
It took me years and years to finally realize that my son's addiction was not mine to "fix". And years and years later he still hasn't done that but I have found a new and better life that does not include addiction, and never will.
Addiction was killing me, through stress and fear and all the bad stuff that goes with being the mother of an addict, so I had to save myself first and I have never regretted that. Today my life too is filled with joy and I embrace the beauty in every day, good or bad.
You did it, you loved yourself more and there lies the key to escaping the toxic relationship that is run by addiction.
Well Done. Thank you for sharing that and I hope the newcomers will find hope and inspiration in your post.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 37
Wow, as if it is that long, I remember reading your posts and that time has flown. Thank you for coming back to update. I really like to hear updates on people. Have you stayed NC the whole time? Congratulations on staying strong and making a better life for you.
IC x
IC x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 105
4 years later (3 years post update)
Originally Posted by Indigochild 
Wow, as if it is that long, I remember reading your posts and that time has flown. Thank you for coming back to update. I really like to hear updates on people. Have you stayed NC the whole time? Congratulations on staying strong and making a better life for you.
IC x
IC x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2023
Posts: 213
Hi Linzey
I really needed to read a post like this. Thank you. Its been a hard few months but I realise I was way too co-dependent and god only knows where I would have ended up if id not split up and gone no contact.
I am so grateful for this site and for each and every person who has checked in on me or shared their story.
I would not have been able to get through this, still baby steps but taking each day at a time
Im glad to hear your life turned out for the better
B
I really needed to read a post like this. Thank you. Its been a hard few months but I realise I was way too co-dependent and god only knows where I would have ended up if id not split up and gone no contact.
I am so grateful for this site and for each and every person who has checked in on me or shared their story.
I would not have been able to get through this, still baby steps but taking each day at a time
Im glad to hear your life turned out for the better
B
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by Bookbuff
Hi Linzey
I really needed to read a post like this. Thank you. Its been a hard few months but I realise I was way too co-dependent and god only knows where I would have ended up if id not split up and gone no contact.
I am so grateful for this site and for each and every person who has checked in on me or shared their story.
I would not have been able to get through this, still baby steps but taking each day at a time
Im glad to hear your life turned out for the better
B
I really needed to read a post like this. Thank you. Its been a hard few months but I realise I was way too co-dependent and god only knows where I would have ended up if id not split up and gone no contact.
I am so grateful for this site and for each and every person who has checked in on me or shared their story.
I would not have been able to get through this, still baby steps but taking each day at a time
Im glad to hear your life turned out for the better
B
4.5 years from my last encounter with said addict and I still feel the aftermath of some of the damage caused, I am not sure it will ever fully go away but I can confidently tell you that pushing through even when you feel like you cant brings a totally different perspective on life when you least expect it. I have a very loving and supportive husband, two dogs, and my peace of mind. Keep the faith, you can too!!!
I will not lie, the last 4.5 years were not all sunshine and rainbows, and I strongly encourage what everyone else suggests in these forums - No Contact… all these years later and even recently when I had to get a new Facebook, I felt a minor setback coming across his social media however it’s a lot easier to remind myself where I am and why I’m not there anymore these days
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