lastorder

Over last month I have been very controlled staying clear of spirits and limiting drinking to one or two cans of cider max per evening. I have been walking most days between 5 to 6 mile walks which really help with well being feeling. For some reason last night the urge came over me to drink spirits. I do not enjoy how I feel this morning, I feel more guilty than anything else.

C0ntr0ls

Welcome!



For me, a couple/moderation never worked as hard as I tried to convince myself that it would.

Once I wanted to be sober more then drunk my quit became more manageable and now I'm scared as $%^& of the drink.

It takes time but life is a hell of a lot better for me without it and as long as I don't drink now, I'm happy.

brighterday1234

Moderation is impossible for an alcoholic.

lastorder

I have stopped for long periods before but I struggle with social events. Anyway only one night of relapse, I won't make it two nights. Going for a long walk to clear my head. I am a binger and it is a very dangerous habit that I must stop.

C0ntr0ls

When I started the last quit, I didn't want to be around anyone and stayed to myself for a couple weeks so I could work on the not drinking now. I was never a bar person so I didn't miss that but I did have to get through the witching hour/times.
I refuse to argue/discuss/talk to that SOB addictive voice [AV]. It gets kicked to the curb as so as possible.
My go to are water, Oreo cookies and exercise if there is an urge and so far so good.

brighterday1234

I was a binger too but my sobriety and recovery happened when I accepted that I was/am an alcoholic.

Hodd

As above. I’ll never know why this isn’t understood. I don’t know if it’s arrogance or ignorance, but anyone who’s ever had a drink problem (all of us reading) will end up drinking very heavily within a short time if they attempt to moderate. There are no exceptions.

Dee74

Hi lastorder - welcome back.

I tried changing my drink of choice too.
I found out it didn't matter what kind of alcohol it was, it all led, eventually, back to the same old place.

Alcohol and I have a toxic relationship.
Full stop, end of.

Do you feel you're at a point now where you can accept that for yourself?

If social occasions are a problem for you maybe it's best to put those on the back burner for a little while?

D

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get and stay sober for good.

Anna

Welcome!

I was never able to control or moderate my drinking. I hope you decide to stop drinking completely. It's really much easier than moderating. For me, I made lifestyle changes to support my recovery. I couldn't be around people who were drinking alcohol for a long time.

Robbie64

I once switched from drinking lager to cider and ended up (after a few months) with the worst panic attack I ever had in my life and ended up in A&E (accident and emergency). Needless to say it was a strong cider I was drinking and I ended up with terrible withdrawals. The only thing I'm glad about is I've never really been a spirits drinker otherwise I'm convinced I would be dead by now. Ended up back on lager and am still struggling to stop drinking.

ImNotThatGuy

I've been able to "moderate" for a few days or even weeks at a time, with great effort. It's a lot easier to just not drink because eventually that thing you struggle against while "moderating" wins, and you don't moderate anymore. Can't speak for anyone else, but moderation never worked for me.

Robbie64

Moderation never works for anyone who has an addiction to the substance because the body and mind don't know when to stop. We drink: we get drunk. The key to avoiding hangovers and withdrawals is to not drink at all. Moderation might work once or twice but ultimately we all just end up drinking ourselves into oblivion.

lastorder

My goal is not to get drunk again.

ImNotThatGuy

I know one way you can achieve it for sure: Don't drink at all.

Dee74

I hope you mean 'not to drink at all' by that because an alcoholic hoping to control their drinking in any way is basically on a fools errand.

Its futile.

D

lastorder

No I mean not to get drunk. I am not an alcoholic yet.

Steely

Yet! What does that mean?

I don't know if you are alcoholic or not. Maybe you're not.

I do know I can think of nothing worse than circling a bottle of booze like a white pointer shark trying to keep it in 'control'.

Wishing you the best.

Dee74

OK, forget about the A word.

I spent years drinking, trying to get the buzz I craved but not get drunk
I wrecked relationships, I made myself ill, I spent money I didn't have and I skipped out on all kinds of responsibilities so I could drink instead.

I ended up in places and situations where I had no idea how I got there.

I woke up too many mornings not knowing what I did the previous night - but I knew it was shameful.

I tried changing my type of drink, only drinking with friends, only drinking alone, never starting before a certain time, alternating with glasses of water. Nothing worked because once I introduce alcohol into my system I lose control....It may sooner it may be later but it's inevitable.

I drank many times hoping this time would be different. I spent a lot of effort trying to fix the damage i caused when i was drinking, and a lot of effort trying to hide the extent of my drinking from others.

If any of that sounds familiar, you might have the same kind of toxic relationship with alcohol I did.

The labels not as important as recognising the problem and doing something about it.
Noone ends up here on sr because their relationship with alcohol is great lastorder.

Changing the type of alcohol you drink is not solution,
Its still alcohol.

Think about it.

D

EndGameNYC

I considered managing my drinking about as much as I thought about leaving a theater or a sporting event halfway through. Not the way I drank. And what would have been the point?

If I'm having a drink, I'm going to need to finish the bottle. It's just how things worked out.

I was torturing myself enough as it was with all the unwanted consequences of my drinking, like losing everything and everyone in my life that mattered to me. Including my ability to take care of myself; my version of a spiritual awakening.

I don't know many people, if any, who said that it was worth the effort to try to control their drinking.