Havnt posted in a while.. I feel hopeless
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Havnt posted in a while.. I feel hopeless
I've gotten to an even lower point with the drinking and drugs... Havnt been able to get more than a day of sobriety...really want to try rehab i think it would really help me but I have Medicaid and I'm a single mom I don't know where my kid would go or if they even cover that.... Ive been basically out of work for 3 months so I just stopped caring about life.... Havnt paid rent, bills, loans this whole time life just seems hopeless...i cant seem to find the strength and motivation to push through like i did before with trying to get sober...all my friends and hobbies and life in general include drinking... Even a sunny nice day is a trigger I just can't see this being possible to quit its daunting to me... I just get drunk and high daily and am sick every day and i feel so bad for my son... In person meetings are what really helped more than anything I need to call to see if they are open yet where I live. that would be a start... But i really wish rehab was an option for me as I just need to get some time under my belt and be in an environment conducive to sobriety but since I don't think it's an option I'm just thinking of what my next steps could be and venting really.... I dont know anyone who can relate or help me talk this out or get advice from so im posting this here...just wanted to get this off my chest because I've never been so low in my life and I mean I've been low low before so that says alot
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I think I would focus on my son. I also have a son and when I drink I can see how it affects him. He is one of my main motivators besides myself. Think of how you can and will affect his life. I hope that can help to motivate you. If he grows up in that world it WILL affect him. You need to just go hour by hour and try to just do stuff with him. Have you researched if there is a way to get rehab paid for? Maybe the rehab places themselves would know. I would call a few and see. they are motivated to get you as a patient and get the $. Really though, use your son as a motivator to make changes. Having a son myself that makes me sad to think about.
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support really helped me rsanchez - you could do worse than recommitting to posting here everyday.
I'd look into rehab too - I know you're a single mum but you can't be the only single mum out there who needs help.
not trying to shame you but you'd know already it can't be much good for your son if you are drunk or high every day - obviously things need to change?
D
I'd look into rehab too - I know you're a single mum but you can't be the only single mum out there who needs help.
not trying to shame you but you'd know already it can't be much good for your son if you are drunk or high every day - obviously things need to change?
D
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Chicago
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Thank you... It makes me sad too its a noticable difference without drinking... Today I am destroyed I couldn't get up and take care of him at all i dont want to keep doing that... The day by day thing really helped me in aa... I know today I'm def not drinking... Tomorrow when I feel less crappy and forget the pain is when the real test starts.. Im doing some rehab research.... Thanks for responding
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Thanks d
Originally Posted by Dee74 
support really helped me rsanchez - you could do worse than recommitting to posting here everyday.
I'd look into rehab too - I know you're a single mum but you can't be the only single mum out there who needs help.
not trying to shame you but you'd know already it can't be much good for your son if you are drunk or high every day - obviously things need to change?
D
I'd look into rehab too - I know you're a single mum but you can't be the only single mum out there who needs help.
not trying to shame you but you'd know already it can't be much good for your son if you are drunk or high every day - obviously things need to change?
D
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Join Date: Aug 2019
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Thanks
Originally Posted by MaximusD
Come back here everyday and reaffirm your sobriety. Read your posts so that you remember. Think about your son. Use all the tools you can. I am rooting for you! How old is your son?
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Mine is 2. He is still very young. You still have time to reverse all of this. Just focus on today. Don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow but when you get up come here right away so we can remind you why you shouldn't use. I suggest posting a daily thread "Day 1" "Day2" and so on and we can get you through the beginning stages.
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Originally Posted by MaximusD
Mine is 2. He is still very young. You still have time to reverse all of this. Just focus on today. Don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow but when you get up come here right away so we can remind you why you shouldn't use. I suggest posting a daily thread "Day 1" "Day2" and so on and we can get you through the beginning stages.
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Hi Rsanchez, I'm sorry that you are feeling so low. Have faith that you can do this. I didn't think I'd be able to get sober either, but I did and I know you can too. This community can offer lots of inspiration and support.
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Join Date: Dec 2019
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Hi Rsanchez. So good to see you posting. Things are so tough right now. I'm sorry you are struggling.
I remember my daughters being 4 and 6 and I was drunk for the next 11 years after that. The last 11 years of a 30 year drinking debacle. The years I missed with them will haunt me the rest of my days. The damage I did to them by being an active alcoholic for all of those years has forever altered their lives. They were 15 and 17 when I stopped and I would do anything to be where you are now with a chance to stop while your son is 6. I had that chance every day to stop and I never stopped. And the damage is permanent.
Please do whatever you need to do to take a different road. In 11 years, you could have a new life, a new career, and a healthy thriving 17 year old son with a sober mom who is present for him. What an opportunity.
I remember my daughters being 4 and 6 and I was drunk for the next 11 years after that. The last 11 years of a 30 year drinking debacle. The years I missed with them will haunt me the rest of my days. The damage I did to them by being an active alcoholic for all of those years has forever altered their lives. They were 15 and 17 when I stopped and I would do anything to be where you are now with a chance to stop while your son is 6. I had that chance every day to stop and I never stopped. And the damage is permanent.
Please do whatever you need to do to take a different road. In 11 years, you could have a new life, a new career, and a healthy thriving 17 year old son with a sober mom who is present for him. What an opportunity.
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Thank you for responding
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
Hi Rsanchez. So good to see you posting. Things are so tough right now. I'm sorry you are struggling.
I remember my daughters being 4 and 6 and I was drunk for the next 11 years after that. The last 11 years of a 30 year drinking debacle. The years I missed with them will haunt me the rest of my days. The damage I did to them by being an active alcoholic for all of those years has forever altered their lives. They were 15 and 17 when I stopped and I would do anything to be where you are now with a chance to stop while your son is 6. I had that chance every day to stop and I never stopped. And the damage is permanent.
Please do whatever you need to do to take a different road. In 11 years, you could have a new life, a new career, and a healthy thriving 17 year old son with a sober mom who is present for him. What an opportunity.
I remember my daughters being 4 and 6 and I was drunk for the next 11 years after that. The last 11 years of a 30 year drinking debacle. The years I missed with them will haunt me the rest of my days. The damage I did to them by being an active alcoholic for all of those years has forever altered their lives. They were 15 and 17 when I stopped and I would do anything to be where you are now with a chance to stop while your son is 6. I had that chance every day to stop and I never stopped. And the damage is permanent.
Please do whatever you need to do to take a different road. In 11 years, you could have a new life, a new career, and a healthy thriving 17 year old son with a sober mom who is present for him. What an opportunity.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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There are a lot of "rehab" options other than inpatient. There is Intensive Outpatient (IOP), partial hospitalization (PHP) and the most convenient one of all, AA. I mean, you don't really have a plan so I don't see what Zooming into an AA meeting would hurt. In fact, it's a great way to not feel alone, to get some motivation, some perspective, some tools, some hope. You can private message me, or post here, what your location is and I can help you get into a meeting. If you have any baggage or misgivings about AA, leave them at the door. My advice is to take what you like or what is useful to you, and leave the rest. I am a major work in progress and I relapse frequently, but with the help of AA, I've been sober probably 90% of 2020 which in its own right is a miracle. It's a good start for you until you come up with a better plan. 
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Called the local number for rehab referrals for inpatient and out patient and one place takes women with kids... Tomorrow morning I'm calling down the list... Send all the prayers and positive thoughts my way that I can find help quickly
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Originally Posted by Surrendered19
Hi Rsanchez. So good to see you posting. Things are so tough right now. I'm sorry you are struggling.
I remember my daughters being 4 and 6 and I was drunk for the next 11 years after that. The last 11 years of a 30 year drinking debacle. The years I missed with them will haunt me the rest of my days. The damage I did to them by being an active alcoholic for all of those years has forever altered their lives. They were 15 and 17 when I stopped and I would do anything to be where you are now with a chance to stop while your son is 6. I had that chance every day to stop and I never stopped. And the damage is permanent.
Please do whatever you need to do to take a different road. In 11 years, you could have a new life, a new career, and a healthy thriving 17 year old son with a sober mom who is present for him. What an opportunity.
I remember my daughters being 4 and 6 and I was drunk for the next 11 years after that. The last 11 years of a 30 year drinking debacle. The years I missed with them will haunt me the rest of my days. The damage I did to them by being an active alcoholic for all of those years has forever altered their lives. They were 15 and 17 when I stopped and I would do anything to be where you are now with a chance to stop while your son is 6. I had that chance every day to stop and I never stopped. And the damage is permanent.
Please do whatever you need to do to take a different road. In 11 years, you could have a new life, a new career, and a healthy thriving 17 year old son with a sober mom who is present for him. What an opportunity.
Thank you for this.
My son is 6 too. I don't want alcohol to be a part of his story. I am focusing on learning how to stay sober every day. One day at a time. So far I have gotten 71 in a row. You can do this for sure! Obviously it's not easy but I am thinking it's possible after all.
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Originally Posted by Rsanchez920
Called the local number for rehab referrals for inpatient and out patient and one place takes women with kids... Tomorrow morning I'm calling down the list... Send all the prayers and positive thoughts my way that I can find help quickly
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hey,
Well done for coming here and sharing. You are in the right place. I know you feel hopeless right now but there is Hope I promise you. There is a solution.
I am an AA'er and I only have my own experience to share. I could not stop drinking. My own beautiful gorgeous daughter whom I love more than anything could not get me sober. No Human Power. I had to find that Power and I did on the night of my last binge when I prayed to God, the Universe, Angel's, anything and everything I prayed to to help me. I went to an AA meeting and stayed. I didn't have any other choice. I was either going to die or end up in some institution. Either way my life was completely unmanageable and I was clinging to my daughter, my home and my job by my fingernails and I don't doubt if I had carried on drinking that I would have lost everyrhing, including my life.
My parents offered to pay for rehab for me but I was so scared of failure and wasting their money that personally I didn't want to take them up on it, I had been in AA before and I knew it worked if you really worked it and now I was ready to really work it. However saying that, if I had been able to get into rehab I think looking back I would have definitely done it and if you feel that is what you need then do it. This is all about saving your life so whatever it takes.
My journey hasn't been easy. I wanted to drink many many many times but I took it one day at a time, I prayed , I went to meetings, I got a sponsor , I did everything that was suggested. My own will is strong and I sometimes did it my way but my way had kind of got me into a bit of a mess putting it lightly lol so I just kept going back and listening to what others did and do to stay sober.
I got sober just before my daughters 6th birthday and she has just turned 8. Even though she could not stop me drinking , she is my is driving force to stay sober. I never want to go back to that poison ever again and that is how I look at alcphol now to me, to alcoholics it is pure poison
Oh something else, I can really identify with you with the drinking friends and the activities involving alcohol and all the triggers. I drank in hot sunny days on the beach or in the pub garden, but I also drank on cold days in the pub next to a roaring fire. The thing is if you are an alcoholic of my type, well I drank if the day ended in a y.,!! I am an alcoholic, I loved a good reason to drink but I didn't need one. I had to stay away from my old drinking haunts. I didn't for the first 8 months of my sobriety , I thought I could still do the same things I was doing when I was drinking minus the alcohol and I put myself through alot of torture. By the Grace of God I did not pick up a drink. I soon realised that no, I had to change everyrhing. I had to get HONEST with all the people closest to me about my drinking and if they didn't support me then I would be done with them. This was my life and my daughters life at stake. Fortunately everyone was 100% supportive. I had already lost a couple of hard drinking friends through my own drinking actions and even though now I wish then well they have no place in my life anymore. I don't want to spend my time with heavy drinkers. God has placed new friends in my life who don't drink and they are amazing. I feel very blessed.
Here is the link to the AA 24 hour meeting ,
http://Aa247online.com
And I don't have the link but there is a women's AA international 24/7 meeting, the zoom ID is , 928 9414 8568 and the password is Billw
Well done for coming here and sharing. You are in the right place. I know you feel hopeless right now but there is Hope I promise you. There is a solution.
I am an AA'er and I only have my own experience to share. I could not stop drinking. My own beautiful gorgeous daughter whom I love more than anything could not get me sober. No Human Power. I had to find that Power and I did on the night of my last binge when I prayed to God, the Universe, Angel's, anything and everything I prayed to to help me. I went to an AA meeting and stayed. I didn't have any other choice. I was either going to die or end up in some institution. Either way my life was completely unmanageable and I was clinging to my daughter, my home and my job by my fingernails and I don't doubt if I had carried on drinking that I would have lost everyrhing, including my life.
My parents offered to pay for rehab for me but I was so scared of failure and wasting their money that personally I didn't want to take them up on it, I had been in AA before and I knew it worked if you really worked it and now I was ready to really work it. However saying that, if I had been able to get into rehab I think looking back I would have definitely done it and if you feel that is what you need then do it. This is all about saving your life so whatever it takes.
My journey hasn't been easy. I wanted to drink many many many times but I took it one day at a time, I prayed , I went to meetings, I got a sponsor , I did everything that was suggested. My own will is strong and I sometimes did it my way but my way had kind of got me into a bit of a mess putting it lightly lol so I just kept going back and listening to what others did and do to stay sober.
I got sober just before my daughters 6th birthday and she has just turned 8. Even though she could not stop me drinking , she is my is driving force to stay sober. I never want to go back to that poison ever again and that is how I look at alcphol now to me, to alcoholics it is pure poison
Oh something else, I can really identify with you with the drinking friends and the activities involving alcohol and all the triggers. I drank in hot sunny days on the beach or in the pub garden, but I also drank on cold days in the pub next to a roaring fire. The thing is if you are an alcoholic of my type, well I drank if the day ended in a y.,!! I am an alcoholic, I loved a good reason to drink but I didn't need one. I had to stay away from my old drinking haunts. I didn't for the first 8 months of my sobriety , I thought I could still do the same things I was doing when I was drinking minus the alcohol and I put myself through alot of torture. By the Grace of God I did not pick up a drink. I soon realised that no, I had to change everyrhing. I had to get HONEST with all the people closest to me about my drinking and if they didn't support me then I would be done with them. This was my life and my daughters life at stake. Fortunately everyone was 100% supportive. I had already lost a couple of hard drinking friends through my own drinking actions and even though now I wish then well they have no place in my life anymore. I don't want to spend my time with heavy drinkers. God has placed new friends in my life who don't drink and they are amazing. I feel very blessed.
Here is the link to the AA 24 hour meeting ,
http://Aa247online.com
And I don't have the link but there is a women's AA international 24/7 meeting, the zoom ID is , 928 9414 8568 and the password is Billw
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Here to support you.
SR has a lot of options to seek out treatment centers...and there are plenty of hotline counselors that you talk privately and specifically about seeking treatment, being female, and a wonderful mom.
SR has a lot of options to seek out treatment centers...and there are plenty of hotline counselors that you talk privately and specifically about seeking treatment, being female, and a wonderful mom.
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