Ekohe

Did well for two months, but have had two binges now in late june.

Gonna work my plan, and alter things that didn't work. I need a new way to deal with stress as well, as that seems to be a big trigger.

PuckLuck

Hi Ekohe, welcome!

What was your plan you were working for 2 months?

Feel free to join us June Quitters in the Class of June 2020 thread.

Anna

I'm glad you're back. I hope you can find some healthy ways to deal with stress.

Ekohe

last time I was very honest with the people around me, that I am an alcoholic and that I need stay clear from "dangerous" scenarios. I also made plans to join certain groups, like a paddling one here locally but never followed through with it. I will take a good run at meditation to deal with my anxiety and stress. I will attend meetings at least once a week, and get in touch with a therapist.

Dee74

Sorry you drank but welcome back Ekohe

Yeah theres a reason they're called action plans - we really need to follow through.
With online meeting now maybe you can make 2 or 3 or more Ekohe?

MaximusD

Welcome back Ekohe. As Puck said join us in the June 2020 thread. We all quit in June and support each other. Sounds like you have a plan just make sure you carry it out.

Surrendered19

Welcome back Ekohe. You are ok. We'll get this figured out and get back on the sober road together.

Hevyn

It's good to see you, Ekohe. I'm glad you wanted to talk about what's going on.

Ekohe

Thank you everyone

On day two, anxiety is pretty bad, and feeling somewhat crumby physically but I'm doing better than yesterday.

Filled out the application for the addiction center intake, hopefully going to get a call tomorrow or the day after.

Got an online meeting tonight as well. Feeling quite defeated but know that will get better in time.

MaximusD

Sounds like you have a plan in place though. What is addiction center intake? Inpatient rehab?

Ekohe

Its run by the province, it would basically set me up with and addiction counselor for weekly meetings, as well as group meeting and its free of charge. I have been there before but after a few months go overly confident that I could do it on my own going forward.

wiscsober

Welcome Ekohe

Big steps you are taking. Surround yourself with the people who support you. Great you are seeking treatment. Be willing to help others too.

PinnacleOR

The anxiety will settle down in time. My therapist said that when I feel anxious I should get up and move. Take a walk. Anxiety is our fight or flight response kicking in, giving us a jolt to flee. Moving for me, just a walk around the block sometimes, is a great help. Good luck.

Delilah1

Welcome back!

Ekohe

Day 3 here, feeling very low mood wise, basically with dealing with the realization that I'm still in a cycle after all these years. Yes I got two 6 months stints, and 2 days short of a year sober in the last 3 years but I never really took healing my mental and spiritual health as seriously as I should have. I have made it much harder than it has had to be over the better part of 6 years. I'm just exhausted I guess (not going to give up or anything) and just allowing myself to feel that instead of fighting it as I usually try with any uncomfortable feelings. I am very lucky to have a super loving mother and brother, and need to open up to them a little more. I still have a fire in me to get better, and want to become the best version of me.

I will not drink, and will take things one day at a time, thanks for always being there for me, and offering me feedback, support and advice. I really do appreciate it

Ekohe

I want to beat this, and leave it behind in my twenties. I can do this.

MaximusD

That would be amazing to do it in your 20s. I had a 5 year quit in my 20s that ended because of a divorce. Keep vigilant. If you can do it now you will save YEARS of heartache and problems.

Misssy2

A few weeks down the road this stupid condition will start telling you...Oh, your only in your twenties...these people on the computer have way worse problems than me they are older....I know this because I quit a couple times in my 20's....I hope this is your time...because it is a progressive problem...it only gets worse...never gets better...it never ever works....You have a good period of sober time and sober lessons behind you that you can use to keep you going this time.....and the support of family that will eventually dwindle away if this keeps happening over and over....

And I knew a 20 year old girl....she was 22....she was driving drunk....hit a car that had 2 old ladies in it...sisters....and killed them....she couldn't even be devastated about it because she was in a black out when she hit them because she doesn't remember hitting them...or even getting in the car....We do dumber **** when we are in our 20's....I personally think the odds of hitting a very hard bottom are more likely in your age group....You got this...

Ekohe

Thanks maximum, yeah I think I can pull it off. 29 now I'd like to leave my last drink there.

Missy, your words mean a lot to me. That conversation in my head has lead me to believe I could drink normally too many times over these last few years. I've watched it get worse every time I fall back, I need to stop before it claims my mental health. Or I get in a situation like that, driving drunk is something I have done a few times and am ashamed of.

Day 3 today, had a good morning but have mentally had a terrible afternoon. It's canada day, we are having the new neighbours over for a social distanced barbeque which I hope will get my mind off things. Lots of ruminating and intrusive thoughts, been my main battle over the last 5 to 6 years.

stickyone

Day 3 awesome.