24 weeks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
24 weeks
I can't quite believe it, but today is 24 weeks sober. Nearly half a year.
Sorry I've not been around too much, I'm having breaks from the internet here and there, but often pop in to read a few threads for inspiration and strength.
I'm still having a hard time with my insomnia and mental health. I am feeling suicidal at the moment.
I seem to have a few good days and then back where I started. But I haven't drank, and it's been a while since I felt really tempted.
I know how much worse it would feel with alcohol in the picture.
I think it's hard to think this is the real me. With alcohol the lows were lower but there was some relief or escape when I was drunk and the lows weren't all the time. Now the lows arent as desperate but I feel at a constant level of sadness. Its really hard.
I'm having a hard time with work, as well as juggling family and all that lockdown brings.
I'm feeling overworked at work and home and underappreciated. I feel tension constantly bubbling under the surface.
I've probablu had 3 or 4 full nights sleep in 4 months.
I didnt mean this post to sound so negative, I guess it just needed to come out.
I'm really proud of my sobriety but I am really finding life hard at the moment.
Sorry I've not been around too much, I'm having breaks from the internet here and there, but often pop in to read a few threads for inspiration and strength.
I'm still having a hard time with my insomnia and mental health. I am feeling suicidal at the moment.
I seem to have a few good days and then back where I started. But I haven't drank, and it's been a while since I felt really tempted.
I know how much worse it would feel with alcohol in the picture.
I think it's hard to think this is the real me. With alcohol the lows were lower but there was some relief or escape when I was drunk and the lows weren't all the time. Now the lows arent as desperate but I feel at a constant level of sadness. Its really hard.
I'm having a hard time with work, as well as juggling family and all that lockdown brings.
I'm feeling overworked at work and home and underappreciated. I feel tension constantly bubbling under the surface.
I've probablu had 3 or 4 full nights sleep in 4 months.
I didnt mean this post to sound so negative, I guess it just needed to come out.
I'm really proud of my sobriety but I am really finding life hard at the moment.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
AwkwardKitty, great job on your sober time, but I'm concerned about your mental health. Please take care of yourself and seek help and support from your doctor or go to an ER. You don't need to continue feeling this way and help is available:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Wow Kitty, I’m really glad you posted. I too struggle with emotional and mental heath even when sober for extended periods. I often fee alone when I’m in the company of others in fact. But when I examine why I’m feeling that way it’s because I’m obsessing over myself. I’m just 100 percent in my own head.
I feel a lot better when I’m doing something nice for others. Even my dumb dogs. I started volunteering locally and it is really nice. I noticed that exercise helps a lot. When I’m tired I can fall asleep better. And for me that means maybe I’ll get 6 hours as opposed to the 4-5 I normally get.
Anyway, you’re not alone in how you feel. One thing I noticed last night is that there is a chat room on this site. I’m going to be checking in there. Might be good to share your feelings with others when you feel that way.
You probability know all this stuff, just trying to be helpful. Hang in there and definitely practice gratitude. 24 weeks seems like an impossibility for me.
I feel a lot better when I’m doing something nice for others. Even my dumb dogs. I started volunteering locally and it is really nice. I noticed that exercise helps a lot. When I’m tired I can fall asleep better. And for me that means maybe I’ll get 6 hours as opposed to the 4-5 I normally get.
Anyway, you’re not alone in how you feel. One thing I noticed last night is that there is a chat room on this site. I’m going to be checking in there. Might be good to share your feelings with others when you feel that way.
You probability know all this stuff, just trying to be helpful. Hang in there and definitely practice gratitude. 24 weeks seems like an impossibility for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,178
Kitty, first, congrats on the 24 weeks! That is an awesome accomplishment! Second, find a therapist or someone to talk to. Mental health, I think, is our number 1 priority...followed by physical health. I've been deep in depression before and the only way out is to talk it out with someone. We're praying for you.
I hope you can find someone to help you with your mental health. 
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