my son is dying
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1
my son is dying
My 38 yr old son is at the end of his alcoholic addiction. He has diabetes, neuropathy, dementia and memory loss, he hasn't had anything to eat in days. He has major depression. His brain seems to be stuck on just getting alcohol. He no longer drives. He has a taxi driver bring him beer every night. He drinks about 30 beers a night. I am trying to get guardianship of him but its a slow process. He has been to detox and rehab about 4 times. He has lost hope. I have called adult services with DHS. All detox places require he check himself in which he wont do. He refuses all help and he has cut himself off from anyone who might help. He is considered disabled, he can barely stand, so it would be hard to just leave him at the local shelter. Right now I'm just waiting to call 911. I'm a very sad mother.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I'm so sorry for your situation with your son. It must be so sad to watch him lose everything. You are welcome to post here and express your feelings anytime.
Are you doing anything to help yourself through this? You might check out AlAnon in your town as a support for you.
Prayers coming your way.
Are you doing anything to help yourself through this? You might check out AlAnon in your town as a support for you.
Prayers coming your way.
I hope you can find some support for yourself. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Some people have recommended Al-anon and I could not agree more. I'm an addict so everyone that interacts with me becomes emotionally and spiritually ill. The more they care, the more sick they become. Al-anon helps family and friends of addicts heal. They do this in many ways; through education, through support and just a platform to share your struggles with others enduring the same hell. These days it is easier than ever to attend a meeting. You don't have to share anything, or you can share everything. Often just listening to the stories and how people have learned to cope with their situation is helpful. Although I attend AA for my own disease, I have attended several Al-anon meetings because there are other addicts in my life. It is a wonderful community and I believe would really be of help to you. I've shared a link below. All you have to do is search for an online meeting at the link, download zoom onto your phone and register (as easy to do as it was to register for this site) and then click on the link to the meeting. I hope you decide to try it. It will be good for you. God bless you and hopefully something happens so your son decides to try to live again.
https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings...onic-meetings/
https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings...onic-meetings/
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
I'm sorry, too, to hear of this painful situation. Many of us were headed there too. There isn't very much to be done when your son won't stop - so as the others said, please be kind to yourself. It makes no sense - surely he must be miserable - you would hope he'd want to give sobriety another try. You obviously did everything humanly possible to help and support him. We are here to share your burden - hope it helps to know you aren't alone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
I hope your guardianship comes through.
My problem substance is different. Alcohol seems to be a slow decline, compared to the speed of some drugs. I got very sick binging within months. I did end up hospitalized, and my parents were the ones (along with my wife) who arranged for me to enter a treatment center. They researched and worked with doctors to try and figure out what would best plan for me. I remember NOT wanting to go. But I did go. Luckily they did not have to use guardianship, but I know they would have if I'd refused or left and started using again.
I will suggest, look at the type of rehab/treatment that your son had before. Dont keep repeating. Talk to doctors and specialist from a medical standpoint. Look for individualized treatment designed specifically for him. Be prepared if you get another chance. I'm sad thinking about what you as a mom are going through.
My problem substance is different. Alcohol seems to be a slow decline, compared to the speed of some drugs. I got very sick binging within months. I did end up hospitalized, and my parents were the ones (along with my wife) who arranged for me to enter a treatment center. They researched and worked with doctors to try and figure out what would best plan for me. I remember NOT wanting to go. But I did go. Luckily they did not have to use guardianship, but I know they would have if I'd refused or left and started using again.
I will suggest, look at the type of rehab/treatment that your son had before. Dont keep repeating. Talk to doctors and specialist from a medical standpoint. Look for individualized treatment designed specifically for him. Be prepared if you get another chance. I'm sad thinking about what you as a mom are going through.
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