New Here. First Time. Need Help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Ontario
Posts: 22
New Here. First Time. Need Help.
Hello,
Thought I'd rip the band aid off and just share my story in my first post. SoberRecovery was recommended to me as a resource from the hospital after I was admitted for an attempted overdose just over 3 weeks ago. Mere days before my 30th birthday I downed a few handfuls of pills with a bunch of Beer and Vodka with the intent of not waking up. My wife intervened and I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for just over a week.
I started drinking about 10 years ago and exponentially over time the frequency and amount increased significantly. What started as a social lubricant or a way to unwind after work became a mandatory way to relax or relieve stress; hence why it became so frequent. And with handling Covid through my retail related job, drinking heavily every single night became the norm, it became my one and only way to find any kind of happiness; it was literally the only thing I could look forward to. My tolerance became so high that I would eat only one meal a day (if that) which I'd force myself to vomit so that I'd avoid feeling sick or need as much to get to that comfortable level of intoxication. I've been lying to myself for so long, even before it got that bad. In the back of my head I think I always knew I wanted to stop or slow down but I could never make it more than 2 days. I think somehow I convinced myself I wasn't that bad off because I would never drink in the morning, or at work or while driving; it would only be in the evening but it would be 10+ drinks in the span of a few hours. When i would buy alcohol, I would hide half of it from my wife so that she could never see how much I was actually consuming. I would leave the room where I would be nursing a few light beers to go and shotgun something stronger in secrecy. And as someone who has been dealing with mild to severe anxiety and depression for a large part of my adult life; this inevitably made me feel worse sometimes but for the most part it made me feel on top of the world. I liked who I was when I was drunk; I felt funnier and more likable and the very few times I would actually drink in social situations it would help me come out of my shell. Everything felt more fun while drinking; whether it be playing video games online, going to the movies, any kind of vacation or even just spending time with family or friends.
This is my first time participating in anything even close to this. This is the first time I've ever been this truthful to myself and others. I've been 3 weeks sober which is the longest stretch in over 8 years. I don't know if I can completely give up drinking though. I wanted to stay sober for a complete month and reintroduce it as a once a week or only in social situations type of thing but I'm nervous that I'll be able to follow through. It terrifies me. But the idea of quitting alcohol entirely is something that seems so alien to me. I like tasting different beers and seeing what kind of different varieties are out there. But there's a part of my brain doesn't understand the idea drinking without the end result of getting drunk.
I keep getting told that I'll start to feel better, but that really hasn't happened. I don't feel particularly more clear headed or energized. I just miss drinking and the feeling of euphoria it gave me. I feel lost without it right now.
Thought I'd rip the band aid off and just share my story in my first post. SoberRecovery was recommended to me as a resource from the hospital after I was admitted for an attempted overdose just over 3 weeks ago. Mere days before my 30th birthday I downed a few handfuls of pills with a bunch of Beer and Vodka with the intent of not waking up. My wife intervened and I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for just over a week.
I started drinking about 10 years ago and exponentially over time the frequency and amount increased significantly. What started as a social lubricant or a way to unwind after work became a mandatory way to relax or relieve stress; hence why it became so frequent. And with handling Covid through my retail related job, drinking heavily every single night became the norm, it became my one and only way to find any kind of happiness; it was literally the only thing I could look forward to. My tolerance became so high that I would eat only one meal a day (if that) which I'd force myself to vomit so that I'd avoid feeling sick or need as much to get to that comfortable level of intoxication. I've been lying to myself for so long, even before it got that bad. In the back of my head I think I always knew I wanted to stop or slow down but I could never make it more than 2 days. I think somehow I convinced myself I wasn't that bad off because I would never drink in the morning, or at work or while driving; it would only be in the evening but it would be 10+ drinks in the span of a few hours. When i would buy alcohol, I would hide half of it from my wife so that she could never see how much I was actually consuming. I would leave the room where I would be nursing a few light beers to go and shotgun something stronger in secrecy. And as someone who has been dealing with mild to severe anxiety and depression for a large part of my adult life; this inevitably made me feel worse sometimes but for the most part it made me feel on top of the world. I liked who I was when I was drunk; I felt funnier and more likable and the very few times I would actually drink in social situations it would help me come out of my shell. Everything felt more fun while drinking; whether it be playing video games online, going to the movies, any kind of vacation or even just spending time with family or friends.
This is my first time participating in anything even close to this. This is the first time I've ever been this truthful to myself and others. I've been 3 weeks sober which is the longest stretch in over 8 years. I don't know if I can completely give up drinking though. I wanted to stay sober for a complete month and reintroduce it as a once a week or only in social situations type of thing but I'm nervous that I'll be able to follow through. It terrifies me. But the idea of quitting alcohol entirely is something that seems so alien to me. I like tasting different beers and seeing what kind of different varieties are out there. But there's a part of my brain doesn't understand the idea drinking without the end result of getting drunk.
I keep getting told that I'll start to feel better, but that really hasn't happened. I don't feel particularly more clear headed or energized. I just miss drinking and the feeling of euphoria it gave me. I feel lost without it right now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
If you’re an alcoholic then moderate drinking doesn’t exist. I’m an alcoholic and I always drank to get drunk. Once I accepted that fact then I could begin to recover by staying totally abstinent from alcohol and indeed any other mind-altering drug.
My life is fantastic and I am far happier than I ever was before I got into recovery. Stick around SR and read and also I recommend the chapter ‘the dr’s opinion’ and ‘more about alcoholism’ in the book Alcoholics Anonymous which is free online.
My life is fantastic and I am far happier than I ever was before I got into recovery. Stick around SR and read and also I recommend the chapter ‘the dr’s opinion’ and ‘more about alcoholism’ in the book Alcoholics Anonymous which is free online.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I used to think about drinking the same way. That thinking even let me rationalize only two choices , continue drinking or suicide. One day I stumbled onto this place and found out about AVRT, great threads on it here on SR in the Secular Recovery forum.
My thinking really changed , my AV never did but that’s too bad for my AV, for ME it’s awesome.
I always recommend people look into AVRT , Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
Rootin for ya, this a great community , come back often , read , post , ask.
wish you well and hope to see you ‘around’
My thinking really changed , my AV never did but that’s too bad for my AV, for ME it’s awesome.
I always recommend people look into AVRT , Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
Rootin for ya, this a great community , come back often , read , post , ask.
wish you well and hope to see you ‘around’
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome. Glad you got a recommendation to try Sober Recovery.
You should be nervous, as it is impossible for the alcoholic. I strong urge you not to give this a try.
Like you, I didn't want to give up drinking. What I wanted to do was drink without the consequences of drinking. But that's impossible, just like the idea of moderation.
Originally Posted by SomehowIManage 
I wanted to stay sober for a complete month and reintroduce it as a once a week or only in social situations type of thing but I'm nervous...
Like you, I didn't want to give up drinking. What I wanted to do was drink without the consequences of drinking. But that's impossible, just like the idea of moderation.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Hi SomehowIManage, a lot of your story sounds very familiar to me. I'm glad your wife found you in time and you're three weeks sober.
I really wouldn't go back to drinking again. Seriously mate, enough of us on here will all tell you the same thing - it won't be any different this time! It will take you back to where you were. It may happen quickly, you may battle hard and it will happen slowly. But my experience is once it's got you there's no grappling with it, you got to throw the towel in
I really wouldn't go back to drinking again. Seriously mate, enough of us on here will all tell you the same thing - it won't be any different this time! It will take you back to where you were. It may happen quickly, you may battle hard and it will happen slowly. But my experience is once it's got you there's no grappling with it, you got to throw the towel in
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Welcome to SoberRecovery!
I'm going to be another who says that trying to go back to drinking is a really bad idea.
Read around and post often! Here's a couple good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-489-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 489)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2020-a-14.html
I'm going to be another who says that trying to go back to drinking is a really bad idea.
Read around and post often! Here's a couple good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-489-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 489)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2020-a-14.html
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome to the family. 
I'd suggest you not try to moderate your drinking after being abstinent for a month. Abstinence does not equal control. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. Living sober really is better.
I'd suggest you not try to moderate your drinking after being abstinent for a month. Abstinence does not equal control. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. Living sober really is better. Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Welcome, and I'm sorry you were feeling so low.
Most of us here have tried to moderate our drinking. I tried countless times and not only did I fail each time, but things got worse. Alcoholics cannot drink. And, of course, it's a scary thought but so is continuing the way you are now. Alcohol is a depressant and like you, I dealt with depression and anxiety too. I know for certain that alcohol made things worse. There are healthy ways to deal with anxiety and if depression persists as you continue your sobriety, you might want to talk to your doctor.
Take a look around here, and I hope you will see that your life will be better without alcohol.
Most of us here have tried to moderate our drinking. I tried countless times and not only did I fail each time, but things got worse. Alcoholics cannot drink. And, of course, it's a scary thought but so is continuing the way you are now. Alcohol is a depressant and like you, I dealt with depression and anxiety too. I know for certain that alcohol made things worse. There are healthy ways to deal with anxiety and if depression persists as you continue your sobriety, you might want to talk to your doctor.
Take a look around here, and I hope you will see that your life will be better without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Welcome.
My little ones found me unresponsive and family stepped in
placing me into the hands of those capable of teaching me
about my addiction and hand me the gift of a recovery program
to incorporate in all areas of my life on a continuous bases.
This journey began similar to yours where the authorities came
to pick me up and deliver me to the hospital to be evaluated
first. that first night was in the physic ward and then the rest of
my 28 days was in rehab separated from my little family.
It took all of those 28 days plus a 6 week aftercare program
to complete that leg of my journey before released back into
the world and family life.
I took all that was taught to me, hung on to dear life, went
to many many meetings because it was a place I felt a part
of. Being surrounded by many who were just like me. Who
loved the drink yet, consequences followed.
I learned about addiction and its affects on my mind and
body and those around me. I had to let go of any ideas that
lingered in my mind that one day I would be able to return
to the drink and be normal like others without addiction.
I knew from the very beginning that I could never drink
like that and that allowed me to focus on my recovery life
moving forward in life.
Some almost 30 yrs sober come August 11th, I continue
to learn from others new and helpful ways to enjoy life sober.
I was almost died back when, but today, I am alive and
grateful for all of lifes gifts and promises I heard yrs ago
and didnt believe it. Everything I have earned over the
yrs. I have worked for.
I did the footwork with each step I took to get me to where
I am today. Healthy, happy, honest.
A recovery program lead me to life where alcohol was
leading me to an early grave. Possibly death.
Continue to learn and read how so many others are
achieving success in recovery and have never returned
to the insanity of addiction.
My little ones found me unresponsive and family stepped in
placing me into the hands of those capable of teaching me
about my addiction and hand me the gift of a recovery program
to incorporate in all areas of my life on a continuous bases.
This journey began similar to yours where the authorities came
to pick me up and deliver me to the hospital to be evaluated
first. that first night was in the physic ward and then the rest of
my 28 days was in rehab separated from my little family.
It took all of those 28 days plus a 6 week aftercare program
to complete that leg of my journey before released back into
the world and family life.
I took all that was taught to me, hung on to dear life, went
to many many meetings because it was a place I felt a part
of. Being surrounded by many who were just like me. Who
loved the drink yet, consequences followed.
I learned about addiction and its affects on my mind and
body and those around me. I had to let go of any ideas that
lingered in my mind that one day I would be able to return
to the drink and be normal like others without addiction.
I knew from the very beginning that I could never drink
like that and that allowed me to focus on my recovery life
moving forward in life.
Some almost 30 yrs sober come August 11th, I continue
to learn from others new and helpful ways to enjoy life sober.
I was almost died back when, but today, I am alive and
grateful for all of lifes gifts and promises I heard yrs ago
and didnt believe it. Everything I have earned over the
yrs. I have worked for.
I did the footwork with each step I took to get me to where
I am today. Healthy, happy, honest.
A recovery program lead me to life where alcohol was
leading me to an early grave. Possibly death.
Continue to learn and read how so many others are
achieving success in recovery and have never returned
to the insanity of addiction.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Welcome. Glad you are here with us, and that your attempt was unsuccessful. I understand what you are feeling right now. I could not contemplate never ever drinking again when I first got sober. "Forever" was a scary thought. But I was equally scared to keep drinking, because I was slipping further into depression, verging on suicidal. I'd say it took me a good month or two to get to place where never drinking again seemed like a possibility, and maybe even a GOOD thing. I had to get support to get to that place, though. I went to outpatient treatment, went to AA meetings, started hanging out here a lot. I saw with my own eyes that there are bunch of really happy recovering alcoholics in the world who don't have a problem saying they will never drink again. I wanted to have that, so I did the work and now I am one of them. It's a hard pill to swallow at first - I liked drinking for a long time. But if I get really honest with myself, it wasn't fun for a lot of years before I finally had had enough. The time in my life when going out and having a few drinks with friends and being able to stop at a reasonable amount was long gone, never to return. I knew that deep down. I bet you know that deep down, too. I had to really accept that I was not going to drink again, and find peace with that. It became easier and easier to accept that, as I saw the clear benefits of sobriety begin to pile up. It takes time. Maybe find an AA meeting to go to? Just to check it out? I don't go much anymore, but man, those meetings really introduced me to the possibility that a happy life without booze was within my reach. They gave me hope.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Hi and welcome SomehowIManage
Yeah, I'm another who tried desperately to keep drinking in my life.
In the end I had to accept my relationship with alcohol was toxic - once I started drinking, all my good intent went out the window.
I have no control over my drinking once I start. It also led me to some self destructive decisions and suicide attempts.
It was no good for me,
Accepting that has given me an amazing wonderful alcohol free life - I really can't recommend it highly enough
I hope at the end of 30 days you decide to continue with abstinence
Yeah, I'm another who tried desperately to keep drinking in my life.
In the end I had to accept my relationship with alcohol was toxic - once I started drinking, all my good intent went out the window.
I have no control over my drinking once I start. It also led me to some self destructive decisions and suicide attempts.
It was no good for me,
Accepting that has given me an amazing wonderful alcohol free life - I really can't recommend it highly enough
I hope at the end of 30 days you decide to continue with abstinence
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
The big book of alcoholics anonymous can easily be found and downloaded online. I'd start at the chapter there is a solution. See if you can relate to that.
I drank because I was an alcoholic. I didn't know how to handle life without alcohol. For decades the thought of a life without alcohol was out of the question. Not possible, not going to happen. Anytime I tried to go short periods of time, like a couple of weeks without a drink I would go bonkers. That's because I was living with untreated alcoholism once the drink was gone. At that point I'm not drinking but the reasons I drink, the way I think, the way I feel remained the same. It's like having a bad back and stopping the pain medicine but not fixing the bad back.
Alcoholism is the condition I have that made me drink. The anxiety, the depression, restless, irritable, discontent. Many of us successfully, for lack of a better term, treat this with alcohol for decades. Until the alcohol no longer works, it's just no longer feasible to continue drinking.
I drank because I was an alcoholic. I didn't know how to handle life without alcohol. For decades the thought of a life without alcohol was out of the question. Not possible, not going to happen. Anytime I tried to go short periods of time, like a couple of weeks without a drink I would go bonkers. That's because I was living with untreated alcoholism once the drink was gone. At that point I'm not drinking but the reasons I drink, the way I think, the way I feel remained the same. It's like having a bad back and stopping the pain medicine but not fixing the bad back.
Alcoholism is the condition I have that made me drink. The anxiety, the depression, restless, irritable, discontent. Many of us successfully, for lack of a better term, treat this with alcohol for decades. Until the alcohol no longer works, it's just no longer feasible to continue drinking.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Welcome - we're so glad you're here. I was lost & so alone until I found SR. The encouragement here has been just what I needed to get free.
I drank all my life and couldn't imagine even a day without it - but it was killing me. I tried numerous times to be a social drinker. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to admit it wasn't possible to moderate - one drink always led to 10.
I hope you'll stay with us and keep talking. We care about you and want to help. You can reclaim your life and be happy again.
I drank all my life and couldn't imagine even a day without it - but it was killing me. I tried numerous times to be a social drinker. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to admit it wasn't possible to moderate - one drink always led to 10.
I hope you'll stay with us and keep talking. We care about you and want to help. You can reclaim your life and be happy again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
Originally Posted by SomehowIManage
Hello,
Thought I'd rip the band aid off and just share my story in my first post. SoberRecovery was recommended to me as a resource from the hospital after I was admitted for an attempted overdose just over 3 weeks ago. Mere days before my 30th birthday I downed a few handfuls of pills with a bunch of Beer and Vodka with the intent of not waking up. My wife intervened and I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for just over a week.
I started drinking about 10 years ago and exponentially over time the frequency and amount increased significantly. What started as a social lubricant or a way to unwind after work became a mandatory way to relax or relieve stress; hence why it became so frequent. And with handling Covid through my retail related job, drinking heavily every single night became the norm, it became my one and only way to find any kind of happiness; it was literally the only thing I could look forward to. My tolerance became so high that I would eat only one meal a day (if that) which I'd force myself to vomit so that I'd avoid feeling sick or need as much to get to that comfortable level of intoxication. I've been lying to myself for so long, even before it got that bad. In the back of my head I think I always knew I wanted to stop or slow down but I could never make it more than 2 days. I think somehow I convinced myself I wasn't that bad off because I would never drink in the morning, or at work or while driving; it would only be in the evening but it would be 10+ drinks in the span of a few hours. When i would buy alcohol, I would hide half of it from my wife so that she could never see how much I was actually consuming. I would leave the room where I would be nursing a few light beers to go and shotgun something stronger in secrecy. And as someone who has been dealing with mild to severe anxiety and depression for a large part of my adult life; this inevitably made me feel worse sometimes but for the most part it made me feel on top of the world. I liked who I was when I was drunk; I felt funnier and more likable and the very few times I would actually drink in social situations it would help me come out of my shell. Everything felt more fun while drinking; whether it be playing video games online, going to the movies, any kind of vacation or even just spending time with family or friends.
This is my first time participating in anything even close to this. This is the first time I've ever been this truthful to myself and others. I've been 3 weeks sober which is the longest stretch in over 8 years. I don't know if I can completely give up drinking though. I wanted to stay sober for a complete month and reintroduce it as a once a week or only in social situations type of thing but I'm nervous that I'll be able to follow through. It terrifies me. But the idea of quitting alcohol entirely is something that seems so alien to me. I like tasting different beers and seeing what kind of different varieties are out there. But there's a part of my brain doesn't understand the idea drinking without the end result of getting drunk.
I keep getting told that I'll start to feel better, but that really hasn't happened. I don't feel particularly more clear headed or energized. I just miss drinking and the feeling of euphoria it gave me. I feel lost without it right now.
Thought I'd rip the band aid off and just share my story in my first post. SoberRecovery was recommended to me as a resource from the hospital after I was admitted for an attempted overdose just over 3 weeks ago. Mere days before my 30th birthday I downed a few handfuls of pills with a bunch of Beer and Vodka with the intent of not waking up. My wife intervened and I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for just over a week.
I started drinking about 10 years ago and exponentially over time the frequency and amount increased significantly. What started as a social lubricant or a way to unwind after work became a mandatory way to relax or relieve stress; hence why it became so frequent. And with handling Covid through my retail related job, drinking heavily every single night became the norm, it became my one and only way to find any kind of happiness; it was literally the only thing I could look forward to. My tolerance became so high that I would eat only one meal a day (if that) which I'd force myself to vomit so that I'd avoid feeling sick or need as much to get to that comfortable level of intoxication. I've been lying to myself for so long, even before it got that bad. In the back of my head I think I always knew I wanted to stop or slow down but I could never make it more than 2 days. I think somehow I convinced myself I wasn't that bad off because I would never drink in the morning, or at work or while driving; it would only be in the evening but it would be 10+ drinks in the span of a few hours. When i would buy alcohol, I would hide half of it from my wife so that she could never see how much I was actually consuming. I would leave the room where I would be nursing a few light beers to go and shotgun something stronger in secrecy. And as someone who has been dealing with mild to severe anxiety and depression for a large part of my adult life; this inevitably made me feel worse sometimes but for the most part it made me feel on top of the world. I liked who I was when I was drunk; I felt funnier and more likable and the very few times I would actually drink in social situations it would help me come out of my shell. Everything felt more fun while drinking; whether it be playing video games online, going to the movies, any kind of vacation or even just spending time with family or friends.
This is my first time participating in anything even close to this. This is the first time I've ever been this truthful to myself and others. I've been 3 weeks sober which is the longest stretch in over 8 years. I don't know if I can completely give up drinking though. I wanted to stay sober for a complete month and reintroduce it as a once a week or only in social situations type of thing but I'm nervous that I'll be able to follow through. It terrifies me. But the idea of quitting alcohol entirely is something that seems so alien to me. I like tasting different beers and seeing what kind of different varieties are out there. But there's a part of my brain doesn't understand the idea drinking without the end result of getting drunk.
I keep getting told that I'll start to feel better, but that really hasn't happened. I don't feel particularly more clear headed or energized. I just miss drinking and the feeling of euphoria it gave me. I feel lost without it right now.
Hello & Welcome SomehowIManage,
I too couldn't imagine never drinking again. Alcohol had become my bestest friend and I didn't think I would ever be able to have fun if I wasn't buzzed or drunk.
When I started my sober journey it was minute by nail biting minute at times but I would tell myself.... not today, I will not drink today. Maybe tomorrow but not today.
I am 2 1/2 years sober now and I am able to now say..... I am an alcoholic and I can't and wont ever drink again. I still have triggers and temptations but it is so much better. Hang in there and know that you have to want a sober life more than a drunk one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 142
Welcome friend!
You are not alone. Your story has some similarities to mine and others Ive read here. This is a great place for support.
Wanting to keep drinking "socially" was the reason I've failed In the past.
I've found this thread to be dead on with attempting moderation.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...oderation.html (My guide to moderation)
You are not alone. Your story has some similarities to mine and others Ive read here. This is a great place for support.
Wanting to keep drinking "socially" was the reason I've failed In the past.
I've found this thread to be dead on with attempting moderation.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...oderation.html (My guide to moderation)
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,969
Welcome SomehowIManage: Your avatar expresses the feelings very well.
I’ve done that exact thing, leaving the room to kick back the hard stuff.
I’m doing much better now.
Keep posting. We’ll see you around.
I’ve done that exact thing, leaving the room to kick back the hard stuff.
I’m doing much better now.
Keep posting. We’ll see you around.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
In the spirit of ripping the band aid off, I was just curious where the euphoria from drinking you referenced is, because it certainly can't be in this I know it is probably harsh, but so is alcoholism; and because I have been where you were, I know that harsh reality can be beneficial. Without it, I wouldn't have gotten sober nor would I be sober today.
I can also relate to being 3 weeks newly sober and not feeling comfortable. I drank for 30 years. The ugliness of my alcoholism didn't happen overnight, it took 30 years. Being newly sober definitely took me out of comfort zone. I lost my best friend, my confidant, a way of life, the only one I knew after drinking for 30 years. The good news is that feeling did pass and was replaced by peace, serenity, and being comfortable just being me. It didn't happen overnight, any more than the darkest depths of my alcoholism happened overnight, but the best news is that it happened a lot quicker than 30 years.
I didn't want to totally give up drinking either when I started this journey, but I can honestly now say that nothing could make go back to drinking. I wouldn't trade this sober life for anything and it just keeps getting better. My drinking only got worse, never better.
I am glad you are here. We all need each other. Welcome.
I downed a few handfuls of pills with a bunch of Beer and Vodka with the intent of not waking up
I can also relate to being 3 weeks newly sober and not feeling comfortable. I drank for 30 years. The ugliness of my alcoholism didn't happen overnight, it took 30 years. Being newly sober definitely took me out of comfort zone. I lost my best friend, my confidant, a way of life, the only one I knew after drinking for 30 years. The good news is that feeling did pass and was replaced by peace, serenity, and being comfortable just being me. It didn't happen overnight, any more than the darkest depths of my alcoholism happened overnight, but the best news is that it happened a lot quicker than 30 years.
I didn't want to totally give up drinking either when I started this journey, but I can honestly now say that nothing could make go back to drinking. I wouldn't trade this sober life for anything and it just keeps getting better. My drinking only got worse, never better.
I am glad you are here. We all need each other. Welcome.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Ontario
Posts: 22
Thank you everyone for the kind words and making me feel welcome. I battled with myself to even make that first post for a long time but I'm glad I did.
I do plan on sticking around. I'm hoping that being able to talk with people who were in that same place as me can help understand the benefits of being sober. I'm hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am speaking with a social worker on a weekly basis to try and find healthier ways of dealing with stress in hopes that I don't need to turn to drinking to find any sort of normalcy.
I do plan on sticking around. I'm hoping that being able to talk with people who were in that same place as me can help understand the benefits of being sober. I'm hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am speaking with a social worker on a weekly basis to try and find healthier ways of dealing with stress in hopes that I don't need to turn to drinking to find any sort of normalcy.
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