My addict boyfriend broke up with me

Old 06-10-2020, 04:12 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1
My addict boyfriend broke up with me

My (now ex) boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn’t handle hurting me anymore and he is in a dark place and can’t control what he does when he takes drugs.
over the past week I have seen him only get worse and worse with his using to the point where he’s been doing drugs that I know he hates.
i found out that he actually slept with 3 girls while we were together and 2 were within a month before he broke up with me. I know that this is destroying him because he hates himself for what he is done. I am really worried about how bad he is going to get but I know he wants his space from me.
I’m worried that because of the mind set he is in that he is just going to get worse and worse and keep trying to escape from his emotions until he is so far gone that he can’t see the light anymore
Jg123x is offline  
Old 06-10-2020, 04:39 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Bubovski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,739
Do you know what type of drugs he has been taking?
N.A. could be helpful. or de tox if he is willing.
Bubovski is offline  
Old 06-10-2020, 04:50 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
trailmix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,564
Hi Jg and welcome, sorry for what brings you here, of course.

Perhaps it's time to start focusing more on yourself and what you want in your life and less about him? He has made it clear what he wants (drugs), what do you want?

That is not to discount your relationship, I'm sure he as good points too or you wouldn't have stayed with him. He is a liar and a cheater and an addict though, those are the facts, are these things you want in a partner? I know they are not (who would!).

The truth is you didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's). He will quit drugging when he is good and ready and not one moment before that. You can't help him with that, it takes a strong commitment from him and some help, preferably good solid professional help as well as something like AA or NA. Doesn't sound like he is there, at all, as he said.

There is a book that is very often recommended here, Codependent no More by Melody Beattie. I hope you will grab a copy. I'm not saying you are codependent or not btw, it's a term that is used too often in my opinion but there is a wealth of information in the book on things like our own boundaries and relationships which you might be able to relate to.

In the meantime, please try to focus on yourself, what you want and need in your life is important. Al Anon (for friends and families of alcoholics) or Nar Anon, might be helpful to you too. I know right now that Al Anon is running online meetings. https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings...onic-meetings/

Addiction is addiction so don't hesitate to join Al anon if you like, you will be welcomed.

You might also find some current threads in the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum, which tends to be more active than this forum, of course feel free to post over there as well anytime. https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

trailmix is offline  
Old 12-03-2020, 10:13 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 15
Hi there. Mine left me too and my heart is breaking. I always heard they never leave so I'm actually in shock a bit. Do you have any updates? Are things getting better for you?
Bella1973 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:26 AM.